Desperate Confessions.....When your mind "went there" to lose weight

[Creekimp13 5,838]

What is the most awful thing you've considered doing or have done..... to lose weight?

I've got two....one I did...and one I thought about for a second until I realized how horrible it was.

My skinny best friend is a smoker. And I noticed she had no problem with her appetite because she was always smoking....and I thought....damn, I wish I could smoke! But I can't...my Dad died of COPD and I can't force myself to do it. Too unpleasant.

But then, I discovered nicotine gum. Have never smoked a day in my life...and got terribly addicted to nicotine. It's incredibly embarrassing to explain....no, I've never been a smoker....but yes, I was doing the equivalent of a pack a day in nicotine gum for a couple of years....to your doctor. Walk of shame.

This is a REALLY bad idea, incidentally, folks. Was a really hard habit to kick...and it's not like I could get the gum to help. LOLOLOLOLOL

So yeah....that's my lowest, I think, that I actually did.

Now....the things that have entered my mind before I repelled in horror...

Watching some Discovery Channel show about weird medical cases, and this girl ends up in the emergency room because her mother has given her tape worm pills from China and she has lost a ton of weight.....AND has a huge tape worm....

....and I'm thinking....I wonder where I could get a tape worm pill?

How messed up is that? OMG...

Of course I didn't...and I wouldn't....but the fact that my mind went there for a blink....is SO sad.

I think if people really understood the desperation involved in obesity, how hard this **** is...how much people struggle for years and years....fat wouldn't be the last socially acceptable prejudice.

Edited April 25, 2018 by Creekimp13

[Orchids&Dragons 9,046]

Wow, your post made me laugh and then sigh! No, normal sized people (even ones that want to lose 40 pounds) have no idea how desperate you can become. Or how each failure piles onto the last one until you've got your own Mt. Kilimanjaro to climb.

My mother (never had a weight problem, died of COPD) strongly encouraged me to take up smoking. Really! And, no, I didn't go there.

[TakingABreak 2,733]

1 hour ago, Creekimp13 said:

...and I'm thinking....I wonder where I could get a tape worm pill?

How messed up is that? OMG...

Of course I didn't...and I wouldn't....but the fact that my mind went there for a blink....is SO sad.

I think if people really understood the desperation involved in obesity, how hard this **** is...how much people struggle for years and years....fat wouldn't be the last socially acceptable prejudice.

I can completely relate. No judgments, because what I'm about to say is BAD... very very BAD. I used to think to myself, if only I got sick... really sick... even curable cancer sick... maybe I could finally loose the weight. Chemo takes away your appetite. As long as it was early stage cancer.

The thoughts that entered my mind... I can't believe sometimes. I was desperate, delusional, LAZY, and unmotivated.

I can't say there was a point in which I said... enough is enough... I don't recall the epiphany moment. But I will say that I had TOO MANY moments where it should have been my moment.

1. I sat on a sturdy lawn chair on someone's wood deck. The chair didn't break.... the board on the deck busted.
2. I realized, I no longer had to adjust the seat in the car when my husband had been driving. He is 6'4, I am 5'4. My weight was filling the seat and I couldn't move the seat up any further because my belly would be pressed against the steering wheel.
3. I realized if I didn't get my sh** together... I would never have children. I'm pushing 30 and my OBGYN said that if it takes you 2+ years to loose the weight and then the time it takes to get pregnant....it was concerning him.
4. When someone at work thought it would be a good gift to get me a "Free Frosty for a year" tag from Wendy's.
5. The list goes on and on and on......

[Orchids&Dragons 9,046]

56 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

I can completely relate. No judgments, because what I'm about to say is BAD... very very BAD. I used to think to myself, if only I got sick... really sick... even curable cancer sick... maybe I could finally loose the weight. Chemo takes away your appetite. As long as it was early stage cancer.

The thoughts that entered my mind... I can't believe sometimes. I was desperate, delusional, LAZY, and unmotivated.

I had those same thoughts as well, pretty pathetic, huh?

[TakingABreak 2,733]

4 minutes ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

I had those same thoughts as well, pretty pathetic, huh?

I'd say pathetic is right. But we have turned over a new leaf and have found our inner strength. The women who thought those thoughts, are gone!

[Mattymatt 491]

Honestly, at one point I was just going to give up trying to lose weight altogether and just eat myself to death. I thought I had exhausted just about every option out there. I never even heard of anyone implanting a tape worm inside them to lose weight. It's interesting but I am sure extremely dangerous because it is a parasite that can and may kill its host.

I am not going to say that any of you were messed up. It's a known fact that stress and desperation can drive living things into doing what they would not ordinarily do. These acts can be seen in animals and human beings. Obesity is the hardest problem to surmount! Anyone that says otherwise has never walked a mile in our shoes.

Edited April 25, 2018 by Mattymatt

[Etharia 9]

I'm in the same boat. I honestly went so far as to try to buy tape worms online but couldn't find any.

[TexasMommy80 297]

I kept taking phentermine on and off, knowing that it didn’t work for me anymore, I had chest pains when I took it, and suffered debilitating anxiety when I was on it, that sometimes took weeks to go away once I stopped. I can’t begin to tell you how bad I felt on that stuff, but when I hit 241 pounds, that was it. I needed to end the cycle so I went to a bariatric surgeon. The first thing my mom and sister said was it was a terrible idea and that I should get back on phentermine. Nope! Never again.


Age: 37
Height: 5’6
BMI: 37
VSG: 4/16/18
GW: 160
MFP: Fit4LifeAR

[Orchids&Dragons 9,046]

2 minutes ago, TexasMommy80 said:

I kept taking phentermine on and off, knowing that it didn’t work for me anymore, I had chest pains when I took it, and suffered debilitating anxiety when I was on it, that sometimes took weeks to go away once I stopped. I can’t begin to tell you how bad I felt on that stuff, but when I hit 241 pounds, that was it. I needed to end the cycle so I went to a bariatric surgeon. The first thing my mom and sister said was it was a terrible idea and that I should get back on phentermine. Nope! Never again.


Age: 37
Height: 5’6
BMI: 37
VSG: 4/16/18
GW: 160
MFP: Fit4LifeAR

And they thought taking a drug that can have major cardiac side effects was better than surgery? Holy cow!

[TexasMommy80 297]

And they thought taking a drug that can have major cardiac side effects was better than surgery? Holy cow!

They both take it on and off, but like me, it doesn’t work much for them anymore. They just didn’t have the side effects I had.

I am so glad I stuck with my decision and had the VSG.


Age: 37
Height: 5’6
BMI: 37
VSG: 4/16/18
GW: 160
MFP: Fit4LifeAR

[Frustr8 7,886]

I always strip off as much clothing as possible, take off my shoes, would remove my dentures and glasses if they only weighed more.
I always stood to another heavy person in pictures, thought it would make us both look skinny? Many pictures of me looking out diagonally from behind a solid object like a wall, are my shoulders not fat? Paid people to only take head shots of me, well all my high school grad pictures are like that. I was moderately cute then, but I looked like I had a full body amputation.
Wore dark-toned clothing, he's anybody told a charcoal briquet they are looking svelte today? Tried not standing full forward but at an angle, surprise --I look thick that way too! Tried wearing heels, now that is pathetic, looked like an elephant🐘on stilts.
Shall we just say---been there done most of them.
My worst? Considered banking some blood, undergoing full body XRays to induce leukemia, then after enough weight wasted away have my blood retransfuse D. Now that is imagination to a sick sick level.😟