This is just a little rant about my number one pet peeve....

People mentioning their starting weight and talking about how disgusting it is really bugs me. Like, when people are saying they started at 250 lbs and putting a shocked or vomiting emoji (??) or whatever.

I get that it was a lot of weight to you. But a lot of us have starting weights of 400+ lbs. It would be a DREAM for me to weigh 250 lbs!! I haven't weighed that much since I was probably 17!

I know that this has like absolutely no real effect on our journeys, but it was bugging me. And what's a rant and raves forum for if not posts like this one?

Be nice to yourselves!! You had feelings at your SW too! Don't put yourselves down! Let's keep working hard!

Hmmm... IDK if I can agree with this and here's a meme why...

Yes!!

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Great replies everybody. I want to be clear that I don't think that people who started with a low BMI have it easier! What I'm saying is... people need to be cognizant that there a lot of people who start off with really high BMIs. So when you talk about how fat and disgusting you were at a certain weight, you might be talking about someone's goal weight. Does that make sense?? It can just be hard, PERSONALLY, to see someone talking about how disgusting it was to be, say, 50 lbs overweight when you have over 200 lbs to lose. You know?

No it doesn't make sense. People come here to be honest and talk freely about what they are dealing with. Instead now you want them to put a muzzle on it so they don't offend larger people. Come on.

Don't read those posts if they bother you. But that is your responsibility. Not anyone else to not be honest about how they feel about THEMSELVES in order not to offend you.

Like saying I shouldn't complain about the fact that being super dark skin I have to avoid the sun as I don't want to get darker.

And someone coming out of the shaddow.

"Hey ! Don't say that. There are so many light skinned people who would love to be dark and spend hours tanning . You need to be considerate to others feelings..."

Say what ? I'm talking about MY FEELINGS stop being so self centered and making it all about you is what is respond to that person.

My advice to you is to focus on yourself and not to concern your self with words people use to describe themselves.

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You know all colors matter All colors are beautiful. Even all people's packaging is beautiful if you are happy with it and it doesn't imperil your health. I am sad I didn't see the risk to my health at a lower weight and younger age. Even my PCP who I respect and even enjoy 99% of his consult told me today the reason my last surgeons "chickened" out was possibly because I'm past 70, true but I was just below 70 when I first darkened their door, did they expect me suddenly start subtracting years? Yes I am 72 and 1/3rd years old but my body organs are very fit for my age, Dr PCP admitted at a past appointment I was a 45 year old trapped in an obese 72 year old shell. My BP better than his, cholestrol lower, no sign of diabetes, heart and lungs both passed their clearances , aside from weight and arthritis and a touch of depression I'm pretty good. The depression is from being told my efforts are unvalid, I'm unworthy and not giving me a solid chance. That does weighs heavy on your emotions. I am a victim of profiling, I believe. Just because some people die at 72 it doesn't follow I will. I have had a death at 31( my son) 28 and 29 ( 2 cousins) in my family, on the other hand my late mother's last high school classmate died recently at 102. Age is not always a predictor. The new surgeon I am hoping for has handled 70 year olds before, his young female partner did a 68 year old, if they will give me the chance I'm sure I can be a success. If I do die, and this sounds cold, better I die happy for the chance at surgery than continuing to live as I am, fat, slowing down until I die in this body. Yeah I may not be an average age for WLS, but by all that is holy, give me a chance!!. I could be both a bariatric & geriatric poster child for you-- if I lose enough you won't have to use a wide angle lens to get all of me in! If I am __"Silver"___, that also is a very valuable metal. Please give me a chance, I can ask no more!!!! I'm wiping my tears now and getting on with my life. I can't stop now.

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1 hour ago, dreamingsmall said:

I don't really care if you started at 400 lbs.

What someone says about themselves has nothing to do with you. And you can't suddenly expect people not to be honest about how they feel about themselves..

Hell yes when I was 250 I felt like a disgusting fat whale and the look of myself made me want to puke. I was also at deaths door ready to have a stroke with the type of high blood pressure that had me in the emergency room many times almost losing my vision.

I will say felt disgusting if I want to.
It doesn't mean I think anyone who is 400 lbs is disgusting. It's about our selves and how we feel.

Because you would kill to be 250 doesn't mean it's not incredibly unhealthy for those who are already there.

I think you should be mindfull that it isn't all about you and don't try and invalidate someone's feelings or make it all about you because you started at a higher weight.

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Hello dreamingsmall, I am sorry if my post offended you. You seem to be very aggressive in this reply to me. I never said it was all about me. This is a place to talk about all of our frustrations. Personally, I am working to be more conscious of how everyone's journeys are different and how our struggles can be just as hard, despite our different starting points. Maybe you can also work on understanding how someone voicing their struggle with self-worth doesn't invalidate your own. Thank you for the reply.

Edited March 14, 20188 yr by honeyedlife

1 hour ago, dreamingsmall said:

No it doesn't make sense. People come here to be honest and talk freely about what they are dealing with. Instead now you want them to put a muzzle on it so they don't offend larger people. Come on.

Don't read those posts if they bother you. But that is your responsibility. Not anyone else to not be honest about how they feel about THEMSELVES in order not to offend you.

Like saying I shouldn't complain about the fact that being super dark skin I have to avoid the sun as I don't want to get darker.

And someone coming out of the shaddow.

"Hey ! Don't say that. There are so many light skinned people who would love to be dark and spend hours tanning . You need to be considerate to others feelings..."

Say what ? I'm talking about MY FEELINGS stop being so self centered and making it all about you is what is respond to that person.

My advice to you is to focus on yourself and not to concern your self with words people use to describe themselves.

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I am not saying you need to coddle others when discussing your own struggles. I, and some others in this thread, are just saying we could all stand to be a little nicer to ourselves and understand how negative self-talk does not really lead to a healthy relationship with our bodies. I am sorry if my post upset you.

3 hours ago, dreamingsmall said:

People come here to be honest and talk freely about what they are dealing with. Instead now you want them to put a muzzle on it so they don't offend larger people. Come on.

This was posted by the original poster in rants and raves, exactly where one comes to discuss things that are bothering them. Your reaction to the poster comes across as very aggressive.

Is there another area of the forum here that you suggest the poster could share her feelings freely?

A bit of levity is warranted in this area of the forums. Just my two cents.

I think anyone who thinks they're "disgusting" and compares themselves to an animal....at any weight....has bigger issues than obesity. That's incredibly messed up in my book.

Is fat unhealthy? Yep. Yep, it is. Like any other metabolic disorder, obesity is dangerous and must be addressed.

Does it make you a disgusting animal? No. it really doesn't.

To say that about anyone...including yourself....is abusive and messed up.

Edited March 14, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

In all honesty the original poster should just focus on herself, why worry about what others are saying about themselves? Has NOTHING to do with you...

In all honesty....saying you're a disgusting animal because of what you weigh...is going to be seen by others as being really really messed up. PARTICULARLY ON A BOARD FULL OF FAT PEOPLE:)

And by the way...you could focus on yourself and not respond to her post if "focusing on yourself" was a virtue you honored.

Practice what you preach.

In all honesty....saying you're a disgusting animal because of what you weigh...is going to be seen by others as being really really messed up. PARTICULARLY ON A BOARD FULL OF FAT PEOPLE:) And by the way...you could focus on yourself and not respond to her post if "focusing on yourself" was a virtue you honored.

Practice what you preach.

Oh I do focus on myself

Which is why I don't have this issue

And especially why I don't make rude comments on the Internet

And why I don't try to silence / bully others with opinions I don't agree with

Anyone here is allowed to think and say......that they are a disgusting animal all they want.

But....I'm gonna feel sorry for you publicly, if you share that very sad piece of information publicly.

Don't do that to yourself. It's abusive. You, and everyone here...deserves better.

Dehumanization, historically...is a very ugly thing correlated with countless crimes against humanity.

Value yourself. Value others. And don't hang this toxic crap on fat people.

Edited March 14, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

[emoji1479]

Hello dreamingsmall, I am sorry if my post offended you. You seem to be very aggressive in this reply to me. I never said it was all about me. This is a place to talk about all of our frustrations. Personally, I am working to be more conscious of how everyone's journeys are different and how our struggles can be just as hard, despite our different starting points. Maybe you can also work on understanding how someone voicing their struggle with self-worth doesn't invalidate your own. Thank you for the reply.

You ranted. I ranted back. Take it or leave it.

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I think anyone who thinks they're "disgusting" and compares themselves to an animal....at any weight....has bigger issues than obesity. That's incredibly messed up in my book.
Is fat unhealthy? Yep. Yep, it is. Like any other metabolic disorder, obesity is dangerous and must be addressed.
Does it make you a disgusting animal? No. it really doesn't.
To say that about anyone...including yourself....is abusive and messed up.

Do you have a right to tell me I can't feel like a disgusting whale ? No you don't. It is how I felt. You can't help how you feel . And unless your a moron you know that most people fat have unferlyning issues so give yourself a badge for realising that could be the case here.

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Anyone here is allowed to think and say......that they are a disgusting animal all they want.

But....I'm gonna feel sorry for you publicly, if you share that very sad piece of information publicly.

Don't do that to yourself. It's abusive. You, and everyone here...deserves better.

Dehumanization, historically...is a very ugly thing correlated with countless crimes against humanity.

Value yourself. Value others. And don't hang this toxic crap on fat people.

Oh sh. If you want to talk to me talk to me. I'm the only one who said it here. I don't say it on posts. I said it here. Do I care what you think about it ? No? Feel sorry for me all you like. I look amazing and feel amazing. I needed to feel like that for me to realise this is not the way to go with my life. End of the day we are all on the same boat so don't think your better than me because you were happy to be fat. My confidence dropped big deal. I look amazing. And I love my life so I don't feel sorry for myself feeling that way.

Trust me. I value my self and others. And someone on the net doesn't need me to do so . But again clap clap for you.

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