This is just a little rant about my number one pet peeve....

People mentioning their starting weight and talking about how disgusting it is really bugs me. Like, when people are saying they started at 250 lbs and putting a shocked or vomiting emoji (??) or whatever.

I get that it was a lot of weight to you. But a lot of us have starting weights of 400+ lbs. It would be a DREAM for me to weigh 250 lbs!! I haven't weighed that much since I was probably 17!

I know that this has like absolutely no real effect on our journeys, but it was bugging me. And what's a rant and raves forum for if not posts like this one?

Be nice to yourselves!! You had feelings at your SW too! Don't put yourselves down! Let's keep working hard!

Some people can lose weight but will always have an ugly personality. What a hypocritical jack hole.

I have a lower BMI. My reasons for this surgery are very personal and difficult for me... my mom died of multiple strokes brought on by weight issues. I watched her have stroke after stroke for a year which took her mind and body slowly. After years of losing the same 20 lbs then gaining more I had this surgery out of pure fear for my health. My PCP was in full support.

I have been disgusted in myself for not being able to "just lose" the 50-75 lbs. It shouldn't be that hard! But it is...

I do not have a problem with the original post; this is a place to safely voice our feelings, fears and triumphs. I get the frustration and I would feel the same way. It was not mean nor did you call out anyone specifically. I hope you feel safe to continue to voice your frustrations.

Keep up the good & hard work- I will be cheering you on!!

5 hours ago, dreamingsmall said:

I'm just putting you smaller people haters on block because while I'm getting smaller you will be too busy hating on us. Maybe a bit of self hatred would have done you some good and you wouldn't have got to 400lbs if you didn't 'love yourself so much.' So don't try and give people like me advice. I'm so glad I hated my fat self at 250 . My self hatred didn't allow me to get any bigger. So I'm even greatfull.

. Well too allow your body to get to 400 you can't have loved your self that much as no one who did would do that to their body. So keep being smug insulting people like me for being verbal about their deslike. While you... Stay telling everyone their wrong for calling them selves disgusting. But you obviously didn't value your body to push it to such limits. No one who loves and respects themselves would torture their body like that. So I guess your no better than me huh.

Your not any better.

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Holy cow, man. "Maybe a bit of self hatred would have done you some good" but then, also, "Well too allow your body to get to 400 you can't love loved yourself that much"

You're right. I didn't love myself.

When I was 3 years old, I was raped. I was raped as an infant, as well. I grew up hating myself and everything about me. I wanted to protect myself, so I ate and ate and ate, finding comfort in food. I wanted to shield myself. I wanted to be disgusting so I couldn't get hurt again.

I hope you are proud of yourself. That was a very hurtful thing to say. Thank you for reminding me how far I have come in how I feel about myself, though. I had value at 456 lbs. I'll have value at my goal weight, too. We all need to be nicer to ourselves, because if we are more understanding of what we're going through and why we eat the way we do, we'll be able to take better care of ourselves.

I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. I will not let that control my life any longer. I have come a long way. I'll go even further once I block you. Have a blessed day.

I didn't think I'd be crying this morning, but here we are. It's been a really tough journey, you guys. Every day I struggle with "defensive obesity," a condition my psychiatrist says results from my childhood sexual abuse. I have to be kind to myself. I have to love myself, because if I don't, how can I continue to work hard? Let's all do better. Please respect my wishes and don't reply to this thread again. Let's let it die.

Holy cow, man. "Maybe a bit of self hatred would have done you some good" but then, also, "Well too allow your body to get to 400 you can't love loved yourself that much"

You're right. I didn't love myself.

When I was 3 years old, I was raped. I was raped as an infant, as well. I grew up hating myself and everything about me. I wanted to protect myself, so I ate and ate and ate, finding comfort in food. I wanted to shield myself. I wanted to be disgusting so I couldn't get hurt again.

I hope you are proud of yourself. That was a very hurtful thing to say. Thank you for reminding me how far I have come in how I feel about myself, though. I had value at 456 lbs. I'll have value at my goal weight, too. We all need to be nicer to ourselves, because if we are more understanding of what we're going through and why we eat the way we do, we'll be able to take better care of ourselves.

I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. I will not let that control my life any longer. I have come a long way. I'll go even further once I block you. Have a blessed day.

Sorry to respond to the post.

You have our support. Many of us with sexual abuse/assault issues.

dreamingsmall. Seems that he/she has their own issues to deal with.

Your time is valuable. Evaluate what posts and people you want to resond to. Anyone being a troll and personally attacking is not worth your time or attention.

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1 hour ago, jenn1 said:

You have our support

@honeyedlife

once in a while you might get a worm in an apple. disregard. throw it on the

ground where it belongs. Most of this orchard is beautiful. - please stay on

the boards.

all of us started like you. Newbies trying to learn more about WLS, ask your

questions - people will usually give good respectful answers. share their

experiences, make suggestions - and tell you where to go!!! (referring to other

board sites) LOL give us another chance - just like you - we're worth it!!!

group hug, group hug!!!!

kathy

@honeyedlife Yes, please stay!

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Please honeyed life, don't leave. Many of us have abuses in our lives, mine were not as rampant as yours but I too have keloid abuse scars in my inner being. I don't trust, especially men and men of my abuser's age range least of all. Yes I know all men are not inherently evil but this was a person of trust in my community and a family member as well. I went through the threats of killing my pets, my parents and the constant reminder no one would believe me anyway. The adult me realizes how empty the threats were, the little child me could not and believed this person of trust was not lying.

You are a Phoenix ,honeyed, you have risen from the ashes of a life few could survive. You are such wonderful person, your now life shines like a beacon forth for me, I need you here and so do the rest of us on Bariatric Pal. And a giant hug and let me give a big box of Kleenex for both our tears. KkN- my real initials [emoji8][emoji7][emoji7]

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