NO JUDGEMENT!

So I was really naughty NYE and today - New Years Day here in Oz. I ate heaps, and drank wine. I even ate mini chocolates. I really fell off the wagon and only about a month post-op.

Has anyone else had bad days like this? Did it stop you from reaching your goals?

I am going to a cycle class tomorrow because I feel ready, but today I just want to treat myself. Is the occasional slip up really going to ruin everything?

Thanks in advance xx

Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

Are you bullying me ? How DARE you call me a moron .... that’s abusive.

Hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em. No bullying there.

?

Wow... I came on this appt thinking everyone was going to be helpful and considerate. Each and everyone of us are here because we are trying to make a positive change in our lives but all of the bullying and criticizing is just horrible!! So sad ☹️

Here's an example of why I think this is bullying behavior....instead of well intended advice.
There's a thread on here about a woman throwing up clots of blood. Almost no one responded. I did. I encouraged her to seek medical advice immediately.
Then...there are posts where someone admits they've had a weak moment and eaten something high calorie...hoping for some encouragement....and the wrath of God rains down upon them like they're committing suicide.
It's bullshit. It isn't about helping others, it's about feeling self righteous. If it was about helping others, the blood clot thread would have dozens of urgent replies.
People who have been bullied often become bullies, and it's sad. Worse, they pick on those they secretly identify with.
Fat shaming is the last safe prejudice. "It's for their own good" is not an excuse to be tone deaf and unkind.

I literally started clapping in my living room! Well said.

I am not a vet. I'm pre-surgery--so you all may say that I've no business posting on this thread.
But this isn't an issue of judgement. It's an issue of asking for advice. The OP asked for advice/validation (but she said, "only the people who are gonna validate my action need reply/respond"). So I do see many of the people who've actually been through the surgery reply with the knowledge they have of the process--even though their information doesn't affirm her choice(s). Empirically, we have to be very careful about protecting our new anatomy--regardless of food issues--or maybe even despite our food issues.
There is no "good" or "bad" judgement. It's empirical medical advice. If we don't follow our surgeon's orders, we can potentially fu*k up our new anatomy while it's healing...and either land back in the hospital with a popped staple/suture, or worse, end up in surgery again or even die. So to me it's a pretty black and white subject. If we challenge our new tummys too greatly, we can split our guts open and die in less than 5 minutes. The human body can bleed out in under 4 minutes. That is all the time it takes. Four minutes. That's a pretty sobering thought. Before an EMT could get to you--you could die. Because of what? A craving for a cookie, or piece of pizza, or cauliflower soup? After 3-6 months or more of careful preparation...why would anyone want to gamble that way?
Absolutely no judgement here. I'm a big huge ass sinner. I sit in no ivory tower. Some days I have to sit on my hands to keep from backsliding and eating off plan. I struggle with hunger and hanger every day. It doesn't make me holier-than-thou or preachy judgemental. It makes me human. I'm just sayin, eating too soon, drinking too soon (cuz it thins the blood and lowers inhibitions--which can make you bleed out even faster than 4 minutes, or can make you not care about consequences and overeat to the point you split open and bleed out even faster than 4 minutes) can have devastating consequences.
Why indulge in risky behavior? Would you go out an have a few drinks and knowingly sleep with someone HIV positive without protection? Would you load a revolver with a single bullet, spin the cylinder and pull the trigger on a dare? It's all Russian roulette. And it's all fun and games until someone splits open their suture lines and bleeds out in 4 minutes or less--my question is...would that mean you get your pizza for free? [emoji3]

When you put it into perspective...4 minutes....
This is why I follow you! Good advice!

I’m all for moderation and living a balanced life. On one hand I agree with Creekimp, if I can’t learn to enjoy and walk away... then I still have an unhealthy relationship with food. I don’t want to binge, but I don’t want to deny and restrict myself for all of eternity either. I want a balance. I want a healthy and nutritious eating plan... and not to freak out if at the holidays I bite a cookie (as long as I’m not biting 50 cookies, you know).

Now, that being said, I do agree that cheating early on is more alarming and more dangerous.

I also am just generally concerned for the OP because this is the same OP who was worried about eating cauliflower soup barely a week out and then later in the same day ate pizza. I commented then and I’ll
comment now, it sounds like you really, really need to seek help from your doctor, nutritionist, and/or therapist. I imagine between the pizza a week post op to wine and loads of chocolate and whatever else NYE you’ve had other pretty serious cheats as well.

Again, I’m not saying I’m against the occasional cheat or treat or whatever. But it sounds like your situation might be borderline worse than that.


5’6”
25 yo
SW: 256
CW: 236.9

*12/04/2017*

I can’t agree with you more, as far as, my hopeful future relationship with food.

Im day 2 on preop. My friends have asked me what I ate for my “last meal”. I ate something I enjoyed but, I didn’t overindulge. I told them that I’m not considering it my last meal. I hope that I will be able to enjoy the majority of things at some point in the future. The difference is that I won’t binge eat it.

Wow... I came on this appt thinking everyone was going to be helpful and considerate. Each and everyone of us are here because we are trying to make a positive change in our lives but all of the bullying and criticizing is just horrible!! So sad ☹️

Not everyone! You can only do your best at that moment in time. Don’t let some mistakes define you!


HW. 289
SW. 284
Height. 5’8

Not everyone! You can only do your best at that moment in time. Don’t let some mistakes define you!


HW. 289
SW. 284
Height. 5’8

You’re right not everyone. I’m post-op my surgery was on 11/30 and I’m down 23 lbs but it’s been hard and I think that everyone is going through same thing so instead of people arguing on here they should be encouraging and help one another. [emoji4]

So I wasn't going to comment but I'm one of those that will have band to bypass. I learned with band how to eat the things that I used to binge on. I did it more and more. Messed up my band and could not get it back. I know down the road I will control that after bypass. Like with any diet I've ever been on I couldn't stick to it. Bypass will be a new game. I survived the holidays for the most part. As a Preop. I know I CAN'T EAT JUST ONE. well bypass so hope I'm one that will dump.

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I am not a vet. I'm pre-surgery--so you all may say that I've no business posting on this thread.
But this isn't an issue of judgement. It's an issue of asking for advice. The OP asked for advice/validation (but she said, "only the people who are gonna validate my action need reply/respond"). So I do see many of the people who've actually been through the surgery reply with the knowledge they have of the process--even though their information doesn't affirm her choice(s). Empirically, we have to be very careful about protecting our new anatomy--regardless of food issues--or maybe even despite our food issues.
There is no "good" or "bad" judgement. It's empirical medical advice. If we don't follow our surgeon's orders, we can potentially fu*k up our new anatomy while it's healing...and either land back in the hospital with a popped staple/suture, or worse, end up in surgery again or even die. So to me it's a pretty black and white subject. If we challenge our new tummys too greatly, we can split our guts open and die in less than 5 minutes. The human body can bleed out in under 4 minutes. That is all the time it takes. Four minutes. That's a pretty sobering thought. Before an EMT could get to you--you could die. Because of what? A craving for a cookie, or piece of pizza, or cauliflower soup? After 3-6 months or more of careful preparation...why would anyone want to gamble that way?
Absolutely no judgement here. I'm a big huge ass sinner. I sit in no ivory tower. Some days I have to sit on my hands to keep from backsliding and eating off plan. I struggle with hunger and hanger every day. It doesn't make me holier-than-thou or preachy judgemental. It makes me human. I'm just sayin, eating too soon, drinking too soon (cuz it thins the blood and lowers inhibitions--which can make you bleed out even faster than 4 minutes, or can make you not care about consequences and overeat to the point you split open and bleed out even faster than 4 minutes) can have devastating consequences.
Why indulge in risky behavior? Would you go out an have a few drinks and knowingly sleep with someone HIV positive without protection? Would you load a revolver with a single bullet, spin the cylinder and pull the trigger on a dare? It's all Russian roulette. And it's all fun and games until someone splits open their suture lines and bleeds out in 4 minutes or less--my question is...would that mean you get your pizza for free? [emoji3]

That wasn’t what I wrote at all! Good luck with your surgery, karma can be a b***h when you go through week moments. I have a feeling you’ve had a lot more of them than I have to get so big, and when you realise you can still eat and get hungry, you may struggle too. I was only 55kgs before I had my daughter and ran marathons - and I know I am getting back there. I’ve already lost 20lbs!

I’m glad I could be honest on here and again thank the ones that didn’t use it as an excuse to bully and act like clowns.

Truly - so astonishing all of the morbidly obese people now tryna act like they’ve never made bad food choices! What a laugh!!!! Just give it up - you’re reaching!


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

Here's an example of why I think this is bullying behavior....instead of well intended advice.
There's a thread on here about a woman throwing up clots of blood. Almost no one responded. I did. I encouraged her to seek medical advice immediately.
Then...there are posts where someone admits they've had a weak moment and eaten something high calorie...hoping for some encouragement....and the wrath of God rains down upon them like they're committing suicide.
It's bullshit. It isn't about helping others, it's about feeling self righteous. If it was about helping others, the blood clot thread would have dozens of urgent replies.
People who have been bullied often become bullies, and it's sad. Worse, they pick on those they secretly identify with.
Fat shaming is the last safe prejudice. "It's for their own good" is not an excuse to be tone deaf and unkind.

100% this! In my post bout pizza I also shared a friend was just diagnosed with cancer and not one person showed compassion or understanding - and then want to say they are supportive? What fools. And it was a bite- they act like I ate a whole pizza. Anyway, this was a new post but their abuse continued. I bet they’ll fall harder than I will because at least I can be honest about my weakness.

I had ppl DMing me saying they did the same but too afraid to share on here - so the bullying isn’t helping anyone. Surgery may make u thinner but some of you have very ugly personalities.

Anyway - much love to you Creekimp - girl I hope you’re kicking butt! I’m 20lbs down and 5 weeks today!!!


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

9 hours ago, KCRN said:

If I'm funny then you're a moron. And I think we've already cleared up that I'm funny so....

This is clearly against the forum rules you agreed to upon signup. I do not want to see something like that posted again.

My surgeon told us not to per say diet ever again, because they obviously don't work. He said for every 3 bites of protein eat a bite of a vegetable. Then 3 bites of protein and a starch. He said if you do that it will all work out. And basically if you have one bite of a dessert, or "one" cookie, every so often it's no big deal, because it's unrealistic to expect that you will NEVER have dessert, or wine, or chocolate, or whatever, again. The main key is to learn to pay attention to hunger and full signals.

And your stomach growling is NOT a sign of hunger!

However, none of that applies to me right now because I never get hungry. I'm lucky to eat 3 bites of anything in a day, 3 months out. Nausea is killing me!

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That’s pretty much my surgeon who said you will lose weight no matter what you eat, but try to make good choices because you’re not getting much in. I am trying to make the best choices, but I still get cravings and it’s good to know it isn’t just me and how others get through it. I hope your nausea gets better, that really sucks


Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

Wow i am also band to bypass and so glad to hear someone making same choice i did. I had bypass hernia repair and gall bladder removal on 12-6. I had a microscopic tear in my intestines during surgery that caused the drainage to abcess one of my laproscopic incisions that caused a large wound needing wound care but i am happy to say all my insides are healed and another few weeks with wound vac will see me good as new. I was on strick liquids for 3 wks and now almost done with soft food phase. I cant say i feel hunger or full the same way i used to but my brain still says eat and stop. I havent been sick and feel no nausea. My band was different as i still felt full satiation satisfaction feelings and now it feels more like hungry want something or no dont want food anymore but wouldnt call it full feeling. This is scary to me and some depression has set in but its all getting better! So happy to know i have a better chance at health now as i lost 100 lbs with band only to develop gall bladder issues that caused sickness that caused such huge hernia and band slippage that bypass really was best way for me. I only have 40 lbs to goal weight so for me it was preventative as i was starting to gain again. Obesity is a lifetime disease. We are all blessed for a chance to permenantly manage it.

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Im basically a Liberterian type of guy. Its none of my business what you do in the privacy of your home as long as you dont cause harm to others. If you feel the need to eat what you want then that is totally up to you. Im sure as an intelligent adult you will make the choices that you feel are in your best interests. I do applaud your honesty.

During my six month pre op prgram I had to attend support group meetings (which I still attend) two nuggets offered were 1- treat your WLS as a golden ticket. You really get this one chance to redo what made you obese in the first place and 2- be careful what you reintroduce into your food eco system. If it got you obese once it will do it again.

Since Im the person who cant eat just one I opt to eat none. I have no self control. For those of you who can excercise self control you eat what you feel is appropriate for you. Im glad to see this thread have varying points of views. If everyone agreed it would be a very boring and a non informative forum. Lets just be civil to each other while we work toward our goal of having a healthy and happy life.

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