NO JUDGEMENT!

So I was really naughty NYE and today - New Years Day here in Oz. I ate heaps, and drank wine. I even ate mini chocolates. I really fell off the wagon and only about a month post-op.

Has anyone else had bad days like this? Did it stop you from reaching your goals?

I am going to a cycle class tomorrow because I feel ready, but today I just want to treat myself. Is the occasional slip up really going to ruin everything?

Thanks in advance xx

Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

Yesterday I had a value-sized cup of soft serve from Sonic. I ate it all using the tiniest of bites and tolerated it well. And then this morning I learned I’d lost almost two pounds since yesterday. So suck it.

Right on! Good for you... Today i ate two plain chicken wings i chewed really good and some tuna and egg salad a few bites. With a diet like this i think a bit of soft serve sounds yummy. Dairy also has protein. Still trying to drink more water.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-T377A using BariatricPal App

Oh, it was yummy. Very, very yummy. And much less than the super-sizes Blizzard with whipped cream I would have gotten once upon a time.

On 1/6/2018 at 10:41 PM, Danny Paul said:

Im basically a Liberterian type of guy. Its none of my business what you do in the privacy of your home as long as you dont cause harm to others. If you feel the need to eat what you want then that is totally up to you. Im sure as an intelligent adult you will make the choices that you feel are in your best interests. I do applaud your honesty.

During my six month pre op prgram I had to attend support group meetings (which I still attend) two nuggets offered were 1- treat your WLS as a golden ticket. You really get this one chance to redo what made you obese in the first place and 2- be careful what you reintroduce into your food eco system. If it got you obese once it will do it again.

Since Im the person who cant eat just one I opt to eat none. I have no self control. For those of you who can excercise self control you eat what you feel is appropriate for you. Im glad to see this thread have varying points of views. If everyone agreed it would be a very boring and a non informative forum. Lets just be civil to each other while we work toward our goal of having a healthy and happy life.

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I am with you on this one. Once I get through surgery, my goal is to never touch the trigger foods again. My goal is to make life about not living to eat, but living for life. I don't have self-control either so it's wise for me to treat those trigger foods like an alcoholic abstains from alcohol.

"Once I get through surgery, my goal is to never touch the trigger foods again."

Man, if it were this simple....wouldn't most of us just set a goal to quit all our trigger foods and not bother with the surgery?

My theory is that you can't run from food. Gotta make peace with it. Get power over it. Gotta face it and get control of it. Otherwise, it still has all the power and you're running away for the rest of your life...powerless.

I'm not saying being able to say no, is powerless....just saying....these foods will still be there. You'll run into them. They might still sing to you.

I guess my question is...why do you think having surgery will make you more able to "never touch trigger foods again?" What happens to your brain during surgery that enables this change of ability?

Not being a jerk, just honestly would like to follow your train of thought.

Edited January 8, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

@creekimp13

Speaking as someone more than four years out and maintaining a 135 pound loss at goal (size 4).....

What changed for me is chemical, hormones and gut bacteria. The sleeve (and I assume other surgeries) changes those things as well as the size of our stomachs. Some of us more than others, the research is still working on figuring out what works for whom.

But I have so much more chemical willpower. I had to work on the mental part, we all do of course. And stopping the refined carbs and sugars (thanks to the chemical part and the restriction) made me lose my taste for it to a large extent, and that's habit plus the rest. If I went back to eating refined carbs and sugars daily I'm sure my taste for it would return, so I don't. I do it occasionally, but not frequently. Some I gave up entirely--rice and pasta for example.

And I have Foods I must avoid because they are triggers, and I can now largely because of the chemical changes. I cannot let a cheese-it near me!

Does this help explain what's changed? What's different?

Some foods I can eat in moderation, others I cannot so I avoid. That doesn't mean cheese-it's have power over me because I have taken their power back.

Can't we all just get along....

8 hours ago, jess9395 said:

@creekimp13

Speaking as someone more than four years out and maintaining a 135 pound loss at goal (size 4).....

What changed for me is chemical, hormones and gut bacteria. The sleeve (and I assume other surgeries) changes those things as well as the size of our stomachs. Some of us more than others, the research is still working on figuring out what works for whom.

But I have so much more chemical willpower. I had to work on the mental part, we all do of course. And stopping the refined carbs and sugars (thanks to the chemical part and the restriction) made me lose my taste for it to a large extent, and that's habit plus the rest. If I went back to eating refined carbs and sugars daily I'm sure my taste for it would return, so I don't. I do it occasionally, but not frequently. Some I gave up entirely--rice and Pasta for example.

And I have Foods I must avoid because they are triggers, and I can now largely because of the chemical changes. I cannot let a cheese-it near me!

Does this help explain what's changed? What's different?

Some foods I can eat in moderation, others I cannot so I avoid. That doesn't mean cheese-it's have power over me because I have taken their power back.

I think this is great, but I also think that you're in the minority for those of us that are fat or were fat. I think it's also interesting that some people who CAN avoid 'trigger' foods for life seem to assume that it's that way for everyone. This assumption leads to a lot of negativity on forums and FB pages (at least from what I've seen)

I'm not criticizing you or trying to get contentious - it's just what I notice.

I joined this FB page for sleeve/bypass people to (supposedly) share recipes and stuff like that. The lady that ran it (also conveniently had a web store to sell shakes and stuff on) was 10 years out (bypass) and still lived a <20 carb keto lifestyle, maintained a 200lb weight loss, etc. I think the admins were all friends of hers, too. Holy **** was that a sanctimonious crew - one would think that it was some kind of religion where anything with carbs was essentially satan himself. The admins and the people who wanted to be like the admins would totally jump on people's **** when they admitted to having a cookie, or even suggested substituting something in a shake or recipe - in one post, some lady got reamed for saying she put half a banana in her daily shake. I left the group after a couple of days.

Point being - some things will change for some people, but the same thing won't change for all of the people. I think we should all take great care to qualify any advice we give on nutrition and eating here - make it very clear that what you're talking about works for you, maybe not the OP. Oh, and be nice and supportive too.

11 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

"Once I get through surgery, my goal is to never touch the trigger foods again."

Man, if it were this simple....wouldn't most of us just set a goal to quit all our trigger foods and not bother with the surgery?

My theory is that you can't run from food. Gotta make peace with it. Get power over it. Gotta face it and get control of it. Otherwise, it still has all the power and you're running away for the rest of your life...powerless.

I'm not saying being able to say no, is powerless....just saying....these foods will still be there. You'll run into them. They might still sing to you.

I guess my question is...why do you think having surgery will make you more able to "never touch trigger foods again?" What happens to your brain during surgery that enables this change of ability?

Not being a jerk, just honestly would like to follow your train of thought.

This. I am 4 months out and dealing with this head on now. I had a "perfect" first 3 months post op, then started slipping up with old favorite foods, now almost fully back to previous eating patterns and binge like activity (basically my worst nightmare come true). Most of us have some sort of unhealthy relationship with food and have had for many years, this needs to be addressed or there is a very high likelihood of falling back into negative patterns. I delayed getting the psychological help i needed directly post op because things were going well and I thought maybe I really didn't need it but here I am at 4 months post op and up 5lb in the past month.

Tomorrow morning I have an appt with a therapist who specialises in obesity related eating disorders. I wish I had done this earlier and feel that I have now squandered a month of weight loss. You will see many times on these forums where people suggest getting psychological help pre/ post op, I would definitely reccomend this if financially feasible.

"Speaking as someone more than four years out and maintaining a 135 pound loss at goal (size 4)...."

Jess...would it surprise you to know that you impress me as someone who is in danger of swapping out one eating disorder for another? I'm not saying that's true, or your reality...but it's a road I'd rather not take, and sometimes you say things that seem a bit obsessive and extreme for my taste. I worry about trading one extreme for another because I know it's dangerous, and I know it happens.

I've never mentioned this before because every time I consider telling someone I'm worried about them online....I think to myself...will that person find it useful if I do? Will they take it to heart, or will they hear it as criticism? Usually, I err on the side of shutting up and treating people with kindness when I know they don't want to hear what I have to say.

.

Edited January 9, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

I'm not sure I agree. Jess's point, if I follow, is that the surgery has helped her with her cravings for refined sugary food and so she is better able to avoid them. That sounds like a great benefit to me and something I hope to adopt. Maybe I'm missing something but that doesn't sound like any type of eating disorder to me.

I don't think listing your pants size substantiates your authority on a particular topic. To do so seems weird and obsessive (to me). Personally, I would rather be my current size...than a size 4 at 5' 7".....that's grossly underweight for my tastes. That's what I was referring to...hence the quote. Not the part about cravings. But again....my concern is not useful. It's not something she will agree with or want to hear, so it's best to keep it to myself. Which I do, for the most part. I'm bringing it up only to illustrate that sometimes knowing something won't be received well....should prompt us to rethink how useful it is, or finesse our point.

Edited January 9, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

I don't think listing your pants size substantiates your authority on a particular topic. To do so seems weird and obsessive (to me).

Amen.

On 12/31/2017 at 11:24 PM, YummyMummy303 said:

NO JUDGEMENT!

So I was really naughty NYE and today - New Years Day here in Oz. I ate heaps, and drank wine. I even ate mini chocolates. I really fell off the wagon and only about a month post-op.

Has anyone else had bad days like this? Did it stop you from reaching your goals?

I am going to a cycle class tomorrow because I feel ready, but today I just want to treat myself. Is the occasional slip up really going to ruin everything?

Thanks in advance xx

Sleeved: 2/12/2017

SW: 209lbs/95kgs

I feel like this whole debate got off topic. Am I missing something? To me the critical issue isn't whether or not you're pure or hedonistic or even just a human who has food issues and occasionally messes up. I think the early posters were wiggin' out because of the highlighted area...that the OP was only 1 month out from surgery, and that it was the second occurrence of her eating beyond her surgeon's advice.

I don't think most of us are saying...if you don't stay on the absolute straight and narrow you're not going to succeed? I think it was absolute fear for her that her tummy would explode.

Edited January 9, 20188 yr by FluffyChix

"NO JUDGEMENT!

Has anyone else had bad days like this? "

From my perspective, this is the part that caused the controversy.

When someone knows they've gone off plan, but specifically ask for support without judgement...when it's pretty clear that what they're looking for is just empathy....should they be inundated with fear mongering and reasons they'll fail?

Edited January 9, 20188 yr by Creekimp13