Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I don't understand (goal weight rant)



Recommended Posts

Alexandra, if people just dont want to push boundaries and aim high for themselves in all areas of their lives then I just have to accept that. I cannot pretend to understand that and I'm sorry but I cannot pretend to have a lot of admiration for it either, I just cannot. Whether its to do with weight or not, to me it is settling for mediocrity. I'd much rather try and fail than not try.

We are all here and had surgery so the we could lose weight and get healthy. What you might consider mediocrity could be a total victory for someone else. I want to win the battle too, but I don't want to kill myself trying. It is possible that I could be healthier at a BMI of 35 than someone with a BMI of 25. When you speak in absolutes you can never be right about everyone. I am shooting for the 25 and will be more than ecstatic if I get there. But not every one is going to lose all of their excess weight no matter how much they try.

My BMI was over 50 when I started and I had very few co morbities and I was 56 when I had the surgery. I have high blood pressure, but I will probably have that even when I get down to a "normal" weight. I know that it was just a matter of time before I developed more and more co morbidities. So it has has been mostly about vanity for me. I feel that I am trying even though I don't run or starve myself on a very low calorie diet. I don't count calories. I have never been a junk eater, so eating healthy is sort of second nature for me. I eat things that are not "diet food" but I am not willing to deprive myself to lose faster. I don't believe that fast weigh loss is healthy. I just started walking. By the way walking is healthier for your heart than running. When you foot strikes the pavement in a walking stride it pumps your blood to your heart and improves endurance strenthens your heart. When you run your foot doesn't get the same pumping action to your heart. But I have always hated running even when I was in top physical condition. It made me puke.

What you seem to be saying is that if someone is not as successful as you have been, then they don't measure up. According to your theory everyone has to lose all of their excess weight to be successful. Is this what you are trying to convey?

Folks like you who are succesful are an inspiration through just getting there. But why be so adamant that everyone has to do it your way?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sigh. Boy, are you being this obtuse on purpose?

Did I not just make the point to Alexandra that her idea and mine of winning may be different? Was I not making the point that not trying is what I had little respect for, not the ultimate goal?.

I have actually been a slow loser precisely because I didnt want to kill myself on a very low calorie diet. Its taken me nearly 2 years to lose 88lb. I do not believe fast weight loss is particularly healthy either. I dont do diet foods and I like to enjoy what I eat. So I was prepared to accept a slower loss.

I run becuase I love it, I used it as an analogy but I do not think everyone has to do it.

As to running and walking being different because of how your foot strikes the pavement. I am not even going to dignify that with a response. Its too ridiculous.

All I see here is defensiveness and rationalising with entirely questionable misinformation.

Just own your weight and your goal. Revel in your success in achieving YOUR goals. But accept it and own it in all its facets, do not try to justify it to me as not having a down side. Its when you do that that I immediately see someone NOT happy with their decision, NOT comfortable with it. Tell me to bugger off, you're happy and you dont give a fig what I think. Dont tell me that you're the one in a million who can have a BMI of 35 but somehow not be obese. That's crapola.

I have been duly ticked off, I know my original opinion was arrogant and that the way I have done things is not for everyone. In my mind we werent even arguing that, but you obviously see it differently.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

... When you foot strikes the pavement in a walking stride it pumps your blood to your heart and improves endurance strenthens your heart. When you run your foot doesn't get the same pumping action to your heart. ...

I'm not the least bit familiar with this. Do you have any studies that could explain this in specific detail?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

HI,I SET MY GOAL AT 60KGS AS THATS THE WEIGHT I HAVE ALWAYS FOUND MYSELF TO BE HAPPY AT,AS I WAS OVER 100KG,I SET LITTLE GOALS IN 10KG LOTS UNTIL I GET TO THE WEIGHT I WANT TO BE[EVERY 10KGS I LIKE TO REWARD MYSELF WITH A NEW CD OR A NEW TOP,SOMTHING SPECIAL,IT'S A GREAT ACHIEVMEANT TO LOSE WEIGHT,EVERYONE KEEP UP YOUR WONDERFULL EFFORTS.:(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Alexandra, if people just dont want to push boundaries and aim high for themselves in all areas of their lives then I just have to accept that. I cannot pretend to understand that and I'm sorry but I cannot pretend to have a lot of admiration for it either, I just cannot. Whether its to do with weight or not, to me it is settling for mediocrity. I'd much rather try and fail than not try.

I can accept that you dont agree with me (and I know that perception isnt reality, so what I think aint necessarily so), but I'm really confused - Are you seriously saying to me that you didnt even care about winning that battle?. Your idea and mine of winning may be different, but you took action, you fought and you came to a position that you were happy with. So what you're saying makes no sense at all to me

But "not trying" is NOT the same thing as going for a goal that someone else sets for you! We are all here because we ARE trying, in our own ways, to become healthier by losing weight. We definitely all have that in common, and we all experience joy in the benchmarks and victories that mean something to us. I'm just saying the process, and the benchmarks and victories, are very different from person to person.

Whether we see it as a battle to be won or a journey to be taken, or wherever we set the "finish" line, we each put our own stamp on this project. Losing weight for me was a dream, a wish, and when it started to become reality I was thrilled. I embraced it and tried to make my new habits permanent (which did NOT work--HOLY COW I need a fill!). But I never saw it as a battle I had to fight--unless you count with my insurance company. :D

If I saw it as a "battle" I know me--I would lose, give up, not want to do it anymore. It's just not a helpful frame of reference for me; that's why I never participate in challenges here. But not thinking of it that way didn't keep me from losing 100 lbs and living life as a thinner person, which is what I set out to do. Though I'm desperately trying not to gain right now, I know that if I started battling with myself about it that scale would be moving UP.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Has anyone had scarring. I am still in the pre approval stage. I believe I will be banded by December. I would love to be able to wear a two piece bathing suit next summer. But will I have a scar on my belly?!?!?:faint::omg:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Has anyone had scarring. I am still in the pre approval stage. I believe I will be banded by December. I would love to be able to wear a two piece bathing suit next summer. But will I have a scar on my belly?!?!?:faint::omg:

Not nearly as much as extra fat and stretch marks. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

By the way walking is healthier for your heart than running. When you foot strikes the pavement in a walking stride it pumps your blood to your heart and improves endurance strenthens your heart. When you run your foot doesn't get the same pumping action to your heart.

HUH?? i've know several fitness professionals and runners who will disagree with you..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

<p>This to me has turned into, Because I got to my desired weight goal and I excercise more than you, I'm better than you.. Bottom line what some of you are doing is passing judgement and imposing your idea of success on everyone else. We all started at the same place. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ANOTHER JUST BECAUSE THEY GOT TO THEIR MAGIC NUMBER. If I choose to not be a size 0 or 2 because that is what I'm supposed to weigh for my height, then f#*k that. I am what I want to be whether it fits your image or idea of success.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This to me has turned into, Because I got to my desired weight goal and I excercise more than you, I'm better than you.. Bottom line what some of you are doing is passing judgement and imposing your idea of success on everyone else. We all started at the same place. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ANOTHER JUST BECAUSE THEY GOT TO THEIR MAGIC NUMBER. If I choose to not be a size 0 or 2 because that is what I'm supposed to weigh for my height, then f#*k that. I am what I want to be whether it fits your image or idea of success.

And just because you are thin, that does not make you immune to

Point out to me where I have said I am better than you. Please.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am quite sure we'll be getting study results from this one quickly.

Well I am just full of esoteric information. I read about it years ago when I was on a fitness kick. Because your foot has heal to toe contact with the ground, the calves are more efficient at pumping the blood to your heart. Sounds very plausable to me. With running you come down on the ball of your foot and spend more time in the air. The only advantage running offers is that it takes less time to get in a workout. Walking burns more fat per mile and there is much less chance of injury.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I am just full of esoteric information. I read about it years ago when I was on a fitness kick. Because your foot has heal to toe contact with the ground, the calves are more efficient at pumping the blood to your heart. Sounds very plausable to me. With running you come down on the ball of your foot and spend more time in the air. The only advantage running offers is that it takes less time to get in a workout. Walking burns more fat per mile and there is much less chance of injury.

I am pretty sure if you consult a "calorie per hour per activity" calculator, it would show that running burns more calories per hour than walking.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"I am pretty sure if you consult a "calorie per hour per activity" calculator, it would show that running burns more calories per hour than walking."

Chickie, I didn't say per hour, I said per mile.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"I am pretty sure if you consult a "calorie per hour per activity" calculator, it would show that running burns more calories per hour than walking."

Chickie, I didn't say per hour, I said per mile.

Worked out over the mile, running would burn more calories.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×