Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

First Time Going To Family Gathering



Recommended Posts

Today I went to a restaurant to Celebrate the birthday of a family member . I didnt think I was ready for a meal in a restaurant and I was right. I nibbled on a salad and a small piece of egg plant rolotini appetizer . I was stuffed and had a difficult time making excuses for my lack of appetite.(I didnt let anyone know about my WLS). Also, I felt out of place since I didnt eat anything. No one made me feel this way, I just felt it. In my past posts I've said me and food had a great relationship and now its gone. In my monthly group sessions we discussed eating out and how it will change so it wasnt a complete surprise. Since my surgery I have been very regimented with my diet. Getting in my Proteins and liquids. Going to the restaurant took me out of my comfort zone. At the restaurant a family member invited me to dinner this Friday. I made an excuse to avoid the dinner. Im sure in time it will get better but for now my heart isnt into eating out right now. Especially in a large family setting. You guys who went through WLS, any thoughts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have this same problem. I went to lunch with friends this weekend during a conference. I had just gotten a Starbucks (skinny, skim milk, so yes it has calories but also protein). Anyways, while they are I just had my drink. They were asking me if I wanted their sushi and I just said, no, I'll just have my Starbucks. I tell people I eat 6 smaller meals per day, including nuts and Protein bars/shakes and that I'm following a pretty strict food plan.

I prefer to eat at home where I have total control. It's strange that the social piece changes after this surgery. I'm sure we will figure it out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Eating out gets easier and I would say now more than ever I feel normal in social situations. My husband and I have two monthly dinner dates with two groups of friends and I would say that I enjoy it now more than I did before. Now I can eat casually, talk and catch up and always have leftovers to take home like my friends do. I have noticed that if you move your food around your plate a lot, nobody notices your eating so little. I'm 10 months post op and my friends have no idea I had surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Eating out gets easier and I would say now more than ever I feel normal in social situations. My husband and I have two monthly dinner dates with two groups of friends and I would say that I enjoy it now more than I did before. Now I can eat casually, talk and catch up and always have leftovers to take home like my friends do. I have noticed that if you move your food around your plate a lot, nobody notices your eating so little. I'm 10 months post op and my friends have no idea I had surgery.

Great tip! Im meeting a friend next week and was worried


5' 5"
HW: 259
CW: 235
GOAL: Healthy and hard 140-ish?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Danny Paul you're just starting out - so that makes it a little tougher. I didn't tell my family (other than my hubby and two teen daughters) and six weeks after surgery we had to bury my mother. Large, week long Italian New York funeral - lots of food. I nibbled, pushed things around on my plate and talked with my cousins, a lot. No one noticed how little I had eaten. Everyone mentioned how good I looked. (I was probably down 30-40 pounds from the last time they had seen me.) Most of them probably won't recognize me now down more than 100 pounds.

I eat out often - in both my business and volunteer role as the president of a non-profit. I take my leftovers home. I order a small salad to start and sometimes order an appetizer as my entree and just fib that "I had a big, late lunch". We are far more aware than anyone else is of what is or isn't on our plate. You've got this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am almost three months out. This past weekend was my first real test - I had to have a family dinner with all my in-laws (who do not and will not know about my surgery). And they picked a nice Mexican restaurant! I ordered a drink because if I didn’t everyone would ask why. My husband helped me sip on it. We then split a meal. Funny thing is most normal size people split meals all the time and no one thinks anything about it! He ate the lion’s share and I had the grilled shrimp. No one noticed. I have also eaten at several work lunch meetings. Funny thing is that no one pays attention to how much I eat! I thought for sure someone would say something but it has never happened. Go out. Enjoy life. If someone does ask, just fib and tell them you had a big lunch.


Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×