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Lessons from Bariatric Surgery: Patience



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Bariatric surgery patients might as well go to school to get a college degree. At least, that is what it may feel like, with all you learn about digestive physiology, health insurance and the healthcare system, nutrition, and exercise along your journey. Another of the “courses” you will take in your School of Bariatric Surgery career is one in patience.

With patience, you can tolerate setbacks and persevere towards scale and non-scale goals. Not to be confused with laziness or procrastination, patience can keep you from getting discouraged or frustrated. These are some of the areas in which being patient can help in your Quest for health.



An Unpredictable Scale

You are in the small and lucky minority if you lose weight as quickly as you hoped and as regularly as you expect. Everyone else should be prepared for many, many weeks when weight loss comes slowly or not at all. Lose patience, and you might give up on your Weight Loss Surgery journey. Stay patient, and things will eventually turn out right.

Focus on the process, such as healthy choices each day, rather than the outcome, such as the scale number or your pants size. You can control your choices, and if you are making the right ones, the outcomes will come. They may just not come when you expect them.

A Frustrating Healthcare System

One of the biggest tests of anyone’s patience is navigating the system. In this case, you might be trying to figure out your health insurance system and get the reimbursement letter you deserve. Or, you might have more trouble than you had hoped when trying to contact your surgeon. Don’t let these nuisances throw you off. Your perseverance may save your life.

Incomprehensible Relationships

Anyone who has Weight Loss Surgery is almost certain to have changes in their relationships. When your lifestyle changes, so too may the way you interact with family members and friends. You are working hard to stay on your healthy plan, but they may be working hard to support you and/or understand you. Be patient while there is friction, as it can often turn out okay.

You had better be prepared to return the patience if you want to keep your relationships. While you should not feel obligated to tolerate rudeness or anyone who undercuts you, you may need to get ready to have some tolerance for ignorance or friction due to changes in your lifestyle and attitude. Be ready to clearly explain your surgery to the important people in your life, and how it might affect them. Try to keep in mind that a sudden fit of anger from your SO might be a display of a moment of weakness while supporting you, for example, by keeping favorite foods out of the house.

Not Knowing the Answer

You might ask 25 people the same question and get 25 different answers. Your surgeon may recommend something different than your friend’s surgeon. You may get opposite advice from patients who each swear that their own experience was the “right” one. This gets frustrating!

The truth is that, in many cases, there is no single correct answer. The best you can do is to be patient as you dig to find the best answer for your individual case. Understand that you are receiving everyone’s best guess, and the answer – for you – is something that can be determined only after gathering input from those you trust, and mixing their advice with your own intuition. Carry the patience one step further, since you may find out by trial-and-error that your first guess was wrong!

Diet

You have no doubt studied the Weight Loss Surgery diet and seen warnings about feeling too full, dumping syndrome, and developing intolerances for former favorite foods. Reading about these and experiencing them are two different stories, though! Since they are out of your control, your best bet is to accept and deal with them, not to fight them.

Being patient can help you succeed in your weight loss surgery journey. It can keep your weight in check long term, and also keep you mentally fit for minimizing the stresses linked Weight Loss Surgery. Keep practicing it, and your efforts will be worthwhile.

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19 hours ago, Alex Brecher said:

Stay patient, and things will eventually turn out right.

"God Grant Me Patience, Just Hurry Up About It"

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    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

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      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
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      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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