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Lessons from Bariatric Surgery: Patience



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Bariatric surgery patients might as well go to school to get a college degree. At least, that is what it may feel like, with all you learn about digestive physiology, health insurance and the healthcare system, nutrition, and exercise along your journey. Another of the “courses” you will take in your School of Bariatric Surgery career is one in patience.

With patience, you can tolerate setbacks and persevere towards scale and non-scale goals. Not to be confused with laziness or procrastination, patience can keep you from getting discouraged or frustrated. These are some of the areas in which being patient can help in your Quest for health.



An Unpredictable Scale

You are in the small and lucky minority if you lose weight as quickly as you hoped and as regularly as you expect. Everyone else should be prepared for many, many weeks when weight loss comes slowly or not at all. Lose patience, and you might give up on your Weight Loss Surgery journey. Stay patient, and things will eventually turn out right.

Focus on the process, such as healthy choices each day, rather than the outcome, such as the scale number or your pants size. You can control your choices, and if you are making the right ones, the outcomes will come. They may just not come when you expect them.

A Frustrating Healthcare System

One of the biggest tests of anyone’s patience is navigating the system. In this case, you might be trying to figure out your health insurance system and get the reimbursement letter you deserve. Or, you might have more trouble than you had hoped when trying to contact your surgeon. Don’t let these nuisances throw you off. Your perseverance may save your life.

Incomprehensible Relationships

Anyone who has Weight Loss Surgery is almost certain to have changes in their relationships. When your lifestyle changes, so too may the way you interact with family members and friends. You are working hard to stay on your healthy plan, but they may be working hard to support you and/or understand you. Be patient while there is friction, as it can often turn out okay.

You had better be prepared to return the patience if you want to keep your relationships. While you should not feel obligated to tolerate rudeness or anyone who undercuts you, you may need to get ready to have some tolerance for ignorance or friction due to changes in your lifestyle and attitude. Be ready to clearly explain your surgery to the important people in your life, and how it might affect them. Try to keep in mind that a sudden fit of anger from your SO might be a display of a moment of weakness while supporting you, for example, by keeping favorite foods out of the house.

Not Knowing the Answer

You might ask 25 people the same question and get 25 different answers. Your surgeon may recommend something different than your friend’s surgeon. You may get opposite advice from patients who each swear that their own experience was the “right” one. This gets frustrating!

The truth is that, in many cases, there is no single correct answer. The best you can do is to be patient as you dig to find the best answer for your individual case. Understand that you are receiving everyone’s best guess, and the answer – for you – is something that can be determined only after gathering input from those you trust, and mixing their advice with your own intuition. Carry the patience one step further, since you may find out by trial-and-error that your first guess was wrong!

Diet

You have no doubt studied the Weight Loss Surgery diet and seen warnings about feeling too full, dumping syndrome, and developing intolerances for former favorite foods. Reading about these and experiencing them are two different stories, though! Since they are out of your control, your best bet is to accept and deal with them, not to fight them.

Being patient can help you succeed in your weight loss surgery journey. It can keep your weight in check long term, and also keep you mentally fit for minimizing the stresses linked Weight Loss Surgery. Keep practicing it, and your efforts will be worthwhile.

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19 hours ago, Alex Brecher said:

Stay patient, and things will eventually turn out right.

"God Grant Me Patience, Just Hurry Up About It"

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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