Am I the only one who gets annoyed by the question Why?

[TooneyNinosMom 50]

The only person who asked me why was my mother. Uhhh....that bugged.

After she saw what I went though in those two weeks leading up and the 6 after she realized that this was not an easy way out. It was/is work and it's hard work. We opted for a tool to help us and as long as we stick to the plan, with hard work and dedication it will work.

Whenever someone asks why? Tell them because you want to be healthy and if they think this is the easy way out, they are sadly misinformed and should educate themselves.

[RiveraAn 4]

If I get approved I won't tell anyone. FOR this reason.

I have vented to my mom since I was 160 in middle school about how I can't lose. She brings me fast food, bribes me into trying all the sweets she makes or gets. Then says I'm just being lazy.

So so if I do this. It's between me and my doctor (and my kids dad so he'll watch kids while I recover).

I won't lie about it. But I won't openly tell anyone about it.

[PrayingForWeightLoss 340]

Anyone who thinks getting half your stomach cut off and pulled out a hole above your belly button and then be told "now get used to eating like that" is EASY can kiss my once fatter ass.

Wish this was printed on a Tshirt. You speak for many.

[Half-Tum 404]

24 minutes ago, PrayingForWeightLoss said:

Wish this was printed on a Tshirt. You speak for many.

Ha! Lol. Certainly would be a mouthful on a shirt!

[StephersSweet 78]

I would wear that tee shirt! haha

I didn't tell the world, at least I tried not to, I informed 2 of my supervisors because I figured I should tell them at the get go about the next few months being loaded with doc appointments and then needing 2 weeks off. One of my supervisors kinda has a big mouth and it very quickly became the topic of conversation in my office.

And even friends and family who I assumed would've been supportive have gone out of their way to make "suggestions" it's just annoying.

[Half-Tum 404]

4 hours ago, StephersSweet said:

I would wear that tee shirt! haha

I didn't tell the world, at least I tried not to, I informed 2 of my supervisors because I figured I should tell them at the get go about the next few months being loaded with doc appointments and then needing 2 weeks off. One of my supervisors kinda has a big mouth and it very quickly became the topic of conversation in my office.

And even friends and family who I assumed would've been supportive have gone out of their way to make "suggestions" it's just annoying.

In the end, all that matters is YOU because YOU are the one going through with it. They won't know what's going on with your body like you will.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

On 21/09/2017 at 11:19 PM, StephersSweet said:

any time you venture into the subject of WLS surgery and someone asks you why? I just get annoyed by it at this point. So I tell them I'm morbidly obese which leads to the "why don't you go to the gym, why don't you try this new diet

It sounds like you have been having a problem with "audience selectivity" or "audience resistance".

RULE: Pick or choose VERY CAREFULLY whom you will share your weight loss surgery news with.

As my dad used to say, "Opinions are like arseholes; everybody has them. Some are bog-ugly and off-putting. So, son, when you share something you think is happy, not everyone will be seeing it through your eyes and thoughts"

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

@StephersSweet you might want to remind those supervisors they are violating HIPPA laws by revealing your medical info...I would be pizzed off about that. I don't know why I am always surprised to hear about these things, seems like it happens more frequently since having privacy laws.

Maybe post a glitter copy of the legal notice in your cubicle......lol

[monalyssa33 138]

I don't think having the surgery is taking the easy way out, but I do think it is easier (but also more successful) than losing weight without it. My therapist (who specializes in eating disorders) has told me that just because I've lost the weight quickly doesn't mean I still don't struggle with the same stuff as other people who lose weight without surgery. The success rate of someone losing weight without surgery is so low that I don't understand why anyone would even question someone else's decision to have surgery.

ETA: I'm surprised so many people have had negative reactions to telling people about WLS. I told several people at work and I never heard any criticism from coworkers. I really only had one person who was against me having the surgery and I never see her.

Edited September 25, 2017 by monalyssa33
Adding more

[Megan292 14]

Thank you all for this thread. I have so far not told anybody. You guys who do tell are brave. After reading this I think maybe whether to tell people depends on how much you are willing to argue about it

I don't like conflict at all so I think I will go the route someone suggested and just say to people who need to know (like work) that I'm having "a routine surgical procedure". "Routine" so they know it's not something that's going to mean a ton of other time out, and vague enough that they will think it's something embarrassing "down there" and get the hint that I don't want to be specific.

Edited September 25, 2017 by Megan292

[LillieDuFran 127]

You nailed it. WLS is a tool for better health, not an easy out. While not as heavy as I've been in the past, at 65, the cumulative comorbid conditions are almost all of them. I'm doing because i have metabolic disorder, which is hereditary. It means that my stuff is difficult to keep in balance.

BUT, that said, I sometimes answer "whyever would you want to know" as pleasantly as I can. Most people kind of go, oh, well...and it stops the conversation before I get defense.

Kudos for being open, and proactive about what you're doing. You will be very successful because you know its a tool,, not a fix, and NOT easy, just different.

[Chris S. 10]

On 9/21/2017 at 8:19 AM, StephersSweet said:

Seriously though, any time you venture into the subject of WLS surgery and someone asks you why? I just get annoyed by it at this point. So I tell them I'm morbidly obese which leads to the "why don't you go to the gym, why don't you try this new diet, why would you want to do something so crazy when there are better ways to lose weight it just takes hard work?" Then I tell them about all the fad diet programs I've tried, that I go to the gym 4 times a week 1.5 hour each time alternation on strength training and cardio, which leads to more Why questions. Honestly I'm really tired of the why question, I'm all for educating the people around me but 9/10 times there questioning not because they care or want to know but because they think I'm taking the "easy way out", and that really irritates me.

So is anyone else out there sick and tired of explaining themselves?

I take it all the way and say I don't want to die and I want to be able to one day see my grand children. After that they know anything they say is irrelevant. Please don't let anyone get you down we made a choice and no one has the right to make you feel unworthy. Feel bad for the haters they will make themselves known.

[DropWt4Life 957]

I will say that although surgery does make things easier, it is NOT the easy way out. Maybe it levels the playing field so that you aren't as hungry or can't eat as much as you did before. You can still SLIDE your way to obesity even with the surgery. My cousin has had GB and is about 250 pounds. She was about 300 pounds before, lost 125 pounds, and then gained back 75 pounds.

My cousin had the surgery to save her life, and it just might have. She could be well over 400 pounds now if she didn't have it. She eats the way she has always eaten. She eats fast food often, and grazes on processed Snacks all the time. She just eats way less than she used to. She is also not active. She has never been active. Last year, she admitted to me that her restriction was still there, but it was difficult for her to make good choices like it was right after surgery.

She had surgery 10 years ago. If it were the easy way out, she would be at a normal weight right now. She wouldn't have regained well over half of the weight back.

You see, most of us didn't just eat when we were hungry. We snacked a lot as well. I took a nutrition course that said that a habit of snacking on processed snacks and sugar could account for up to 30% of our excess body fat. Since these are sliders, surgery won't help with this. It also won't keep you away from the drive- thru if that is your thing.

[Goddesslola 45]

LOL

this is all i ever want to tell people that ask why 'light weights' get WLS too

[NZFinallyFree 19]

1 hour ago, Opp811 said:

LOL

this is all i ever want to tell people that ask why 'light weights' get WLS too

I told only my sister as she had a bypass a while back and it essentially reversed her diabetes and saved her life - she was in and out of hospital with obesity related health issues and spent most of her life in a chair watching TV before the surgery. I did not want to go down the same path and already had BP and small mobility issues.

It turns out very easy to explain WL thus far as it is only early days but I make it well known I am on a 'Health Kick' - ha ha nothing new there must have done this hundreds of times over the years! I also say I am really focusing on portion size. People don't seem to notice what you eat if you don't draw attention to it. My Dr does not advocate liquid diets either pre or post op past the first 3 days so it was really easy to appear normal.

As a relatively low BMI (34) to start with, I know I would have got a lot of negativity - besides I am a very private person and don't feel the need to share this. I have this forum now to turn to and enjoy reading the different stories. I am sure people would say it was a cop out to have WLS or question me as to why I didn't just suck it up and lose weight alone. Well I have done this so many times before and each time I do I put it all back on and more and to be honest weight control has been in control of me almost all my life! I am a self pay and every cent is worth it so far - I agonised for months over the decision to do this and I am so glad I did.