How to get husband back on board?

[lnaj59 27]

Well he still isn't totally sold on the idea, but I think he does feel better about it after watching the videos and hearing about all the new things Dr. Illan has to offer since teaming up with Bariatric Pal. It seems like an amazing program! I told him that I love him and I understand his worry, but I have to do this for me. I AM going to do this for me.

I've decided to go on my own and hopefully I'll be able to be sleeved next month. I'm so ready to get my life back & enjoy this summer! We are going on a cruise at the end of this month and I think that alone has made me even more determined to do this. I want so badly to be out there enjoying our first cruise with my kids and I can't because of the insecurities my weight has given me. I'm done missing out. I'm done watching my life pass me by... watching everything from the sidelines. I'm done being uncomfortable in layers of spandex and hiding... ashamed, embarrassed, and afraid I'll see someone who used to know me back when I was thin. What could happen in Mexico that is any worse than this? Living life simply existing.

I'm so ready!!!!

Thank you for all of your responses!


Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Please 187]

On 2017-02-28 at 0:42 PM, lnaj59 said:

Long story short, I went to TJ with my husband for gastric sleeve surgery with Dr. Illan last May and ended up backing out. A lot of things happened that we weren't expecting. My room was not reserved at the hotel we had been told we were going to stay at that night, we felt like we had no idea what was going on and where we were being taken, they were blasting rap music with a lot of profanity (not at all something my husband would ever listen to, he's very conservative), and adding that to being out of the US for the first time it was just too much. I know our coordinator meant well and was just trying to relax us and act like being there was no big deal but I think it was maybe a little too relaxed for my husband to handle.

I still would have gone through with it because it was not as much of a big deal to me but he would not let us stay there. He was terrified and so angry with me that day.

I've regretted it ever since. He hasn't been any support like he said he would be if I didn't go through with it. He wants me to have it here in the states but that would more than double what I would pay to go to TJ and I'm really not sure I would experience any better of care. I've researched and researched my options for over a year now and I still feel like Dr. Illan is the best doctor for me to go to for this. I also know that some things have changed there and I'm positive we would have a better experience this time... I'd actually rather just go by myself! I cannot get him on board with this though. I NEED to do this for myself, for my children. I am so ready to get my life back! If I could go tomorrow, I would!

Any advice?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Maybe you need to take a friend or go alone, and leave him at home.Some people just can't handle the stress. He was likely scared and that's how he shows it. I'm going alone and my husbands staying home with the kids.

[jkmen5 9]

I wish I could go with u because I surely would! I hate to think of this holding you back! I agree, can you find someone else to go with? Have u expressed these concerns and issues with him regarding his feelings? Letting him know it's not about him, but that u love and appreciate his concern and protective attitude but that u NEED this?