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Overly supportive husband?...



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I have been married 2 years and recently have kicked the battle of alcohol that has plagued me all my life. I have been clean about a year and have no desire to drink. This really has pleased my husband because he saw how it tore me up. My life has changed so much since he came into it. I'm just very blessed.

Here is my issue. My husbands mom died last year and he came into a bit of money. And I asked him to help me get this operation. He never denies me anything unless he thinks it will hurt me. Well, of course he said yes...and so now I'm on my way. I could have used credit or gotten a loan but he wouldn't hear of it. Said we are getting out of any debt we have had and that would be counter productive. Well now that he has just given me the cashiers checks to pay for this whole deal (I go on Monday the 24th for my internal medicine appointment and thats when payment is due). And I'm thinking about how much money this is...how I SHOULD have been able to do this (lose weight) myself. Funny thing is my DH has never had a weight problem, was very thin when he was in his 20's and really has no idea what being FAT all your life means. He says he can imagine and see's me try. He only wants me to be happy.

We've been together like 5 years and we both have improved each others life. He's much happier now and the main reason I'm doing this (LB) is for our intimacy. I told him his quality of life will improve considerably *grin*. :)

I'm so healthy I should not have really been considered. I am over a 35 BMI so that's the reason they are doing it.

It just is amazing what he is doing for me. I'm blown away and feel kind of guilty as well. I better not fail this time. Thats all I can say.

Valerie :pray:

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i think its great you have a supportive hubby. i am on the other side of things and know how hard it is when they dont support your choice.

i am sure you have tried many things in the past to lose the weight, so dont feel bad or guilty. that is something i have had to work on as well. there is still a large part of me that feels guilty, but it will be better in the long run! i will feel better and be healthier and that will reflect into my dh and my kids lives.

keep your chin up! best of luck!

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You deserve it. You are lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive man.

My hubby is the same way, he is paying for most of my surgery. He is the best and this will benefit us both.

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Valerie, I doubt that you'll fail, as you fear. You're already victorius, courageous, and you've broken a heavy chain - congrats on being sober so long. You can do this next journey too - you're a true winner, an overcomer, and you will inspire others.

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Thanks you guys! I went to see my regular doctor today at Kaiser and he asked me if I were nervous. I don't feel a bit nervous. I feel extremely excited as though an adventure I never thought I would have is finally coming true. Everything has gone so smoothly. There are rough times, like when you are waiting for lab results to come through and hoping nothing will get in the way. But that's over and done with and I can only pray that the road to surgery remains smooth. I haven't even had 'last supper' urges. Although I am a 'bread-a-holic' and have had toast at almost every meal *grin*. Everything I have read (I have done alot of reading and researching) tells me this is gonna be one heck of a ride. I have my 'E' ticket out and I'm ready to go!! I'm so grateful to have you all here with me. Just think! Next summer we all will be looking for which sexy swimsuit we want! Amazing...Praise God!

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my mom paid for mine - not quite the same but I know what you mean about should be able to do it on my own and about failing - not wanting to let them down. good luck to you - you can do this!

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"E-ticket", haha only an Orange County girl would know what that meant! Speaking as a "former" Orange County girl myself, that is! Hey, our band will give us a "year 'round pass" now. If I come to Cali to see my family in a year, lets get together to go bikini shopping. :)

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Yeah, you certainly do have a supportive husband. Good for him.

What I want to ask you is why do you give the impression that you're mainly doing this for your intimacy? Whenever I tried to loose weight and that was the main reason (it's not a bad one *grin*) it seemed like I failed. I have gotten to a point in my life that I'm tired of hurting, wheezing, and squeezing into things and I'm finally doing this for me. Selfish? No, it will be a benefit to both of us. But I think to be successful you're going to have to deal with why you're there in the first place and start loving yourself a little more.

I really hope that all goes well with you. It's great that you have a way to get the surgery done. Since you mentioned that you have Kaiser I assume they don't do it up there. I have Kaiser too and even though they are painfully slow the price is right.

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Yeah, they started in February of this year. Before that they only did the bypass here too. I guess this is new to the Kaiser system and there are a lot of Kaisers that don't do it. I assume that in the future they will do them everywhere.

I live by Sacramento and have to go to San Francisco for all of my appointments and the surgery. It takes a lot of time off because of the appointments but I have tried to make sure that I don't use my time off here at work so that I can get this done. I'll have to go to San Francisco once a month after the surgery for fills and that will go on for a year. It makes it a little hard but it will be worth it.

They do it at three of the bay area hospitals but you don't get to choose which one you go to. I guess some of the other ones are a little harder to get through the program. They are getting 200 people a week into the program and not any more operating time. One girl that just went through the orientation said that the next appointments are 16 weeks out. It was 8 when I went through in June. It's a real mess.

But if I can do it through my insurance then they will cover the fills and anything that happens. I wonder if people realize that a lot of insurances won't cover things like slippages and such (even if they are emergencies) if they have the lap band surgery done privately. I think that changing insurance will be a headache afterwards because of the same reason. So I plan on having Kaiser for the rest of my life.

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Yeah, I do. Mine is an 02 Heritage grey over purple. My husband rides an 04 Road Glide silver over teal. I'm a real beginner riding on my own. I only have a few thousand miles under my belt and believe me that's a real beginner. LOL

I've ridden with my husband for over 25 years and enjoyed it enough that I thought I would try my own. I still ride on the back of his sometimes. I think I would miss that if I gave it up completely. ;)

It's funny how you have to learn to use your body differently when riding as you loose weight. They kept telling me that the bike would want to go straight and I kept telling them it kept wanting to fall over. Turns out that when you don't have as much weight in your rear it does take more to turn the thing.

Did you guys go to Street Vibrations?

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