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OK, so here is a NSV I had a few days ago. I am going to admit it is kind of immature and vain. None the less, it felt really good (evil grin). Warning: long post!

My husband's sister - I will call her Shelby here- lives 4 states away and has pretty much hated me since we met. She was super close to my husband's ex-wife, the two of them are two peas in a pod. So for that reason, no matter how nice and cordial I have been to Shelby, she is outright cold and often blatantly rude to me. It goes so far as her telling my step kids off-color remarks and things she thinks about me, including one lovely piece of advice: "Just don't eat whatever Kelly eats. You don't want to end up like her, do you?"

When I met her 5 years ago, I was understandably nervous and self conscious: I had 235 lbs on my 5'3" frame. In contrast, Shelby is taller and weighed maybe 140 lbs. She is also totally into appearances and looks. After we met, she called my husband and asked how he could have "down-graded" from his ex to me. I was so hurt. (But my husband promptly stood up for me and then hung up).

I saw her three times over the past 5 years. Each time I felt so awkward and self conscious, knowing how judged I was in her eyes. It never should have mattered to me, but it did.

Last Monday, Shelby came into town for my step-daughter's dance performance and to visit my husband's ex. I am three months post op. We did not tell Shelby or anyone on his side of the family about my surgery. I have gone from a size 20/22 to a comfortable 12 and have lost 60 lbs, down to 179 and my confidence has really began to flourish. At the dance, we spotted Shelby and her two kids. She was disheveled and looked uncomfortable. Her usually perfectly made up face was smeared and she looked like she was having a hot flash. Also, she is remarkably heavier than lat time I saw her. Now I will say I do not ever judge anyone on their weight and I never will. I have had all too much judgment and so I truly have all the empathy on those like me dealing with body image issues. But I bring it up because of the irony and scathing hell I had been on the receiving end of from her.

We approached her to say hello and offer her a seat next to us. She refused, and, didn't even acknowledge me. Her face was flush and she was angry and visibly stressed. After the show my husband asked if she and the kids wanted to join us for dinner. She declined and said she was going out with my husband's ex. Again, not looking me in the eye, zero acknowledgement. I have to insert here that I was dressed nice, donned some heals, had a fresh haircut and did my makeup. (pretty fancy for a simple gal like me). I was wearing a flattering trench style long jacket that really made my waist look small.

Right before we left the dance hall I was leaving the ladles room and my husband said he saw Shelby eyeing me from behind, surveying my new shape with her eyes. I went to dinner that night feeling a huge victory. A vain one- yes. But ooooh sometimes these things just feel so good.

To come down to earth, I do have a muffin top from hell that if Shelby saw she would laugh in pure delight. I hide it well- but would LOVE to figure out how to lose! With rapid weight loss I am getting that skin, so I am trying to find ways to reduce it.

Edited by The New Kel

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@@The New Kel

OH HELL YES! VINDICATION :D

When you have someone so toxic and negative in your family, You get the OK card to revel in it. Enjoy your moment! Use her as motivation to get to goal and maintain. I would love to hear more moments that you will have with her in the future.

As you lose more weight the skin gets easier to hide in Shapewear. If you can afford plastic I'm jealous.

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Short of surgery, there isn't much you can do about loose skin. Stay well-hydrated, moisturize, take your Vitamins, and buy some good Shapewear. For loose skin in some places you can try to do some strength training to fill it out a bit with muscle, but that won't help much for you muffin top, unfortunately.

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Shelby isn't worth your time. Forget her! Have you googled for specific exercises for your target area? Maybe pay for a session or 2 with a personal trainer. Just go long enough to learn some good exercises!

Countess531

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There is no revenge like living well.

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Muffin top may be there but to work the abs look up Tony Hortons 7 min abs.. it's a work out from hell for the belly muscles.. but short n works em all

HW 330

CW 235

Surgery date 1/19/17-Sleeve

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@@The New Kel

OH HELL YES! VINDICATION :D

When you have someone so toxic and negative in your family, You get the OK card to revel in it. Enjoy your moment! Use her as motivation to get to goal and maintain. I would love to hear more moments that you will have with her in the future.

As you lose more weight the skin gets easier to hide in Shapewear. If you can afford plastic I'm jealous.

Thanks Jenn1! Yes, the future with her will be interesting to say the least! I'm glad to hear that the shape-wear will work more as I lose more. I highly doubt I would ever be able to afford plastics so I will be donning the Spandex. ;)

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Short of surgery, there isn't much you can do about loose skin. Stay well-hydrated, moisturize, take your Vitamins, and buy some good Shapewear. For loose skin in some places you can try to do some strength training to fill it out a bit with muscle, but that won't help much for you muffin top, unfortunately.

Awesome advice. I have heard about staying well hydrated. Also I purchased some Vitamin E creams. Hopeful!

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Shelby isn't worth your time. Forget her! Have you googled for specific exercises for your target area? Maybe pay for a session or 2 with a personal trainer. Just go long enough to learn some good exercises!

Countess531

I think that is a good idea about getting a personal trainer's ideas to target the midsection. Thanks for the advice!

There is no revenge like living well.

Amen to that!

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I kinda feel a little bad for Shelby lol but she deserved to be put in her place! I love the irony of this story. Keep it up and keep her negative vibes away from your success!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Haha I loved your story!!! It's sad that there are so many toxic people like that. I have always been the yoyo dieter so I am sure that there are plenty of family members and friends that are just waiting for me to put the weight back on. I did not tell any of them I had this done and now I've been at goal for about 2 years.

Losing weight is HARD and Maintaining is HARD. I don't care how much it is or how you did it. Everyone should be proud. Suck it Shelby!!

Keep going with your goals.

~LA

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Haha I loved your story!!! It's sad that there are so many toxic people like that. I have always been the yoyo dieter so I am sure that there are plenty of family members and friends that are just waiting for me to put the weight back on. I did not tell any of them I had this done and now I've been at goal for about 2 years.

Losing weight is HARD and Maintaining is HARD. I don't care how much it is or how you did it. Everyone should be proud. Suck it Shelby!!

Keep going with your goals.

~LA

Ha! Love this reply :D

So cool that you have reached your goal and maintained!! And yeah, haters will watch and wait for regain. Congrats on your success!!

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Love this! I totally understand where you are coming from with not wanting to enjoy her pain.She has made her own hell while you just escaped yours.

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