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Nervous and my Dad is NOT helping matters any



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Trying not to fret. I start the two week diet tomorrow (low-carb, then right before liquids). I am 46 with a BMI of 41, no other health conditions other than arthritis in my knees. I've had surgery before for my knee twice and a shattered finger with no issues; other than nausea once.

My Dad had bad RK eye surgery years ago and literally can not drive at night-which has wrecked his social life. He says, what if you end up with something horribly wrong... He keeps quoting a false 7% risk of long-term serious effects. I get he is worried, I had to hear him talk a lot about his fears for knee replacement surgery and him thinking he was having a stroke when he was just dizzy from pain meds..

He is offering to give me 4K towards diet, physical trainers, etc..and then after a year, if it doesn't work, then give me 4K towards surgery. Sounds good? But, I am not interested in waiting longer. Not. One. Bit.

But it is flipping me out and I am nervous enough. I KNOW the odds are in my favor, but of course..not a guarantee. We all want the guarantee. That is what we tell ourselves:The odd are ever in our favor (see what I did there). I worry about GERD, Gallbladder disease, Dehydration, etc. I have a 15 year old son. I postponed this surgery 5 1/2 years ago for different reasons, but partially fearful if something happened because my son was so young then-but I know that 15 is young too. Since then lost weight and then gained weight and kept it on. I don't even want to lose weight anymore for appearances, but just to slow down the rate of decay :)

Anyway... that is it in a nutshell.

Thanks for listening. post-291635-0-62015500-1480460651_thumb.jpg

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If he's into statistics and studies, I would approach from that angle.

Studies show that 1/1200 women will be able to lose 100lbs and keep it off for 5 years. So your trainer and gym and diet plan has about 0.0008% of working out, short term. There are no real long term studies, probably because basically no one loses that much weight and keeps it off for 10, 20, 50 years.

It takes your body 3-4 years to adjust to your new weight. So lose ALL your excess weight, then don't gain anything for 3-4 years before your metabolism starts to upregulate and your genetic profile shifts away from being an obese person.

Most of us cannot (1199/1200 people). We lose the weight and start to slip up. Even though we are no longer obese, our genetic profile still is. THIS is the challenge of weight loss, not just getting the scale to move. THIS is the reason we fight to lose weight but regain is so easily and so quickly.

Bariatric surgery offers you a 5ish year window to lose the weight, and maintain the loss long enough to make the genetic shift. Thousands of genes express themselves in different ways, and your lifestyle absolutely can change them.

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It's your body do whatever you want. Believe me it's not the easy way. I passed the pizza place today 4 times while working and it kills me I can't stop and get a piece of pizza. LOL. If you don't think you can do it with diet and help. Then surgery is option if you need to do. But it's your decision not your dad's no one else's.

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If he's into statistics and studies, I would approach from that angle.

Studies show that 1/1200 women will be able to lose 100lbs and keep it off for 5 years. So your trainer and gym and diet plan has about 0.0008% of working out, short term. There are no real long term studies, probably because basically no one loses that much weight and keeps it off for 10, 20, 50 years.

It takes your body 3-4 years to adjust to your new weight. So lose ALL your excess weight, then don't gain anything for 3-4 years before your metabolism starts to upregulate and your genetic profile shifts away from being an obese person.

Most of us cannot (1199/1200 people). We lose the weight and start to slip up. Even though we are no longer obese, our genetic profile still is. THIS is the challenge of weight loss, not just getting the scale to move. THIS is the reason we fight to lose weight but regain is so easily and so quickly.

Bariatric surgery offers you a 5ish year window to lose the weight, and maintain the loss long enough to make the genetic shift. Thousands of genes express themselves in different ways, and your lifestyle absolutely can change them.

Wow, this is so interesting. Where can I read more about this?

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@@Anna Nim

I honestly wish I would had surgery when my child was younger. I would have been a much better parent, because I would have been a more active and happier parent.

I say go for it.

I will admit I chose the sleeve over RNY because I watched someone have complications (not WLS related) with their intestines and the way they suffered sealed it for me that I never wanted anyone to touch my intestines. The sleeve had the least risk in my opinion which is why I chose it.

I was also a fairly health fat person, but when my health started to tank, it tanked fast and terrible. I'm not even sure about the long term damage. I feel like losing weight I have healed it but maybe not. I also had arthritis in one knee. Guess what since I lost weight, it never hurts anymore. I used to be so aware of that knee, all the time. It hurt all the time, it made noises, it ached. I forget it even exists now, no pain. I can kneel at church with ease.

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I'm not sure what research @@Hammer_Down has been reading, I would be interested to see some of those studies!

@@Anna Nim One place to start researching studies is http://nwcr.ws/Research/published%20research.htm unfortunately much of it is behind a paywall.

Specifically, after 6 years of non-surgical weight loss the body is still not adapted to a lower set point

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27136388 I have never heard anyone say there's a genetic shift

Edited by computercat

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Yeah, I'm 45 with a 16 yr old and 13 yr old at home. Despite other health problems, I always had great cholesterol, solid blood pressure, and decent fasting blood sugar. Until about 2 years ago. My hormones shifted, my blood pressure spiked and my blood sugar and cholesterol starting rising. Then I was diagnosed with PTTD (tearing ankle tendon) and had a minimum of three separate surgeries recommended. Obviously, my years of relatively healthy fatness were over and all I could see were years of illness, surgery and meds ahead of me.

I don't want to be that person. I researched surgery for about a year then settled on gastric sleeve because the odds are so good. I think knee replacement and a host of other "minor" surgeries have worse odds. I also chose I because gut health is increasingly looking like a major player in weight loss and I think this is a good opportunity to burn it down and start over.

I had surgery in September, have had some compromised immune system issues and healed a bit slowly. Haven't lost buckets of weight, but have lost some and that's new. At this point my big regret is not doing it when my kids were still young.

Do what you need to do . Pick a reputable surgeon with a great track record. Follow your post-op directions carefully. Stay hydrated. Eat Protein. Take Vitamins. Talk to your team if anything seems wrong. I think that gives you more much better odds of success than doing more of the same thing you've probably been doing for the last 30 years

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Ah - as to set point, the study computercat is referencing is talking about The Biggest Loser study. This article:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/6-years-after-the-biggest-loser-metabolism-is-slower-and-weight-is-back-up/

also discusses that, but mentions that RNY (at least) doesn't have that problem. Might be good for your dad. There are a few studies looking at long term gut health changes, too, but a lot of studies seem to suggest that wls is just really different from regular weight loss.

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@@computercat

That biggest loser study is pretty bad just because of the way they lost weight, they ruined their metabolisms.

I have lost 172 pounds in less than 17 months and I still have a normal to high functioning metabolism.

If you eat normally and are active you can lose weight and not ruin your metabolism and have a normalish set point.

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I think if you have thought about this or so long you must think it's worth the very small risk of complications there are no guarantees in life except as they say death and taxes... I'm 48 I had a sleeve in February 2015 I started at 462 it's barely painful I took no pain meds after the 2 nd day I was nauseas nearly everyone is they will give u meds for that I went home I had no help and I was fine extremely tired for a couple weeks but no major problems it's a process that takes getting used to im not going to lie but I have no regrets I lost 180 lbs have more to lose but that's on me to work on this is not a magic solution it will help you loose weight it will however as always be up to you to eat right if u eat like you did to get heavy u get there again best of luck it's no one else's decision but yours

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My Dad is flipping out on me. Worried about me dying from surgery or having a long-term complication, which I know is unlikely, but still a possibility.

He is also giving me grief.

He had originally said he would loan me the money, but I had to diet/exercise for three months (but actually 6 because of when my break it) like I was a post-baratric patient...which of course I did not do.

I tried, sorta, not really..I did have knee surgery, which blew me out and my job has been awful..no really awful.
But I COULD have gotten on low-carb and walked.

So, it makes me worried that I will fail at the Sleeve afterwards. I tell myself that; well, if I we all could do that then none of us would need the surgery, but I also know I have been a bit lazy towards even trying.

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Here's my answer to why I chose the surgery.

http://www.theantichick.com/2016/08/05/the-easy-way-out/

I'm a nurse and have done the research, and diet/exercise alone for most people does not work long term.

Also

http://www.theantichick.com/2016/09/11/three-weeks-in-my-sleeve/

The changes with the sleeve are really making a HUGE change in how I interact with food. I'm working on a new post and hopefully will have it up over the weekend talking about how this is changing my emotional dependence on food.< /p>

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@@RJrocks

I have a few links here that discuss the various mechanisms involved:

On the process and mechanics of weight regain after loss:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4371661/

On the ever advancing field of epigenetics, or how gene expressions are altered by diet, weight loss and excercise:

http://www.nature.com/articles/srep14841

http://clinicalepigeneticsjournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13148-015-0101-5

http://m.advances.nutrition.org/content/5/1/71.full

Regarding the claim that there is a 3-4 year period before your genotype adjusts towards that of a non obese person, I learned that from a podcast with a bariatric physician who treats 15,000+ patients per year with a ketogenic diet. I will try to find which episode it was, the podcast is called Keto Talk if you're interested.

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I am a father of three daughters, and it is very hard to sit by and watch when you know something terrible could happen to your child, even if the chances are very small that it will. You probably know this as well, since you have a child of your own. I don't think there is a lot you can do to allay your father's fears, but it might help him if you talked to him about how you understand his concerns. Perhaps you have done that already.

I hope you have a great outcome, and that the relationship with your father improves. Good luck with it.

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My daughter is a nurse and she understands. But I know she is worried about me being able to make

the commitment it is going to take for me to do this. But I also have some friends that think I just

haven't tried hard enough. I had qualified for surgery 4 years ago and then didn't have it done because

I let others and family members take precedent over me ( and my need to take care of myself first). I let guilt

and their ability to make me feel like I was not worthy of taking care of myself first because they needed

me and if I were recovering from surgery I might not be able to do the things that they wanted done.

I wish I had went through with it 4 years ago. But I also got the impression that if I lost weight I would be

"more attractive" and then I would not be the one that they always could put down (some sort of envy and

elevating themselves over me). Sick huh?...But I am going to do this to make sure I am around for my

daughter's wedding and for future grandchildren. Most of all I am going to care of me. Because at the

rate I am going I am not going to be around for anyone.

I know you are worried but you need to do this for you and your health. And that will be the best thing

for your father and your son. And believe me, I have so much doubt in me. But every time I get those

nagging thoughts. I am going to tell myself I can do this. And I am worth any inconvenience it may cause

other people in my family. And if that doesn't work, I am going to log on to this site and read and post and

get my spirits back up. If you need support, please post and I will definitely try to encourage you and hopefully

you can encourage me and all of us who are on this journey can help each other.

Good luck but don't let anyone tell you it is better to not do something about it. You have to realize that

you are just taking care of you so that you will be able to be there for your family.

I hope this helps....I am in the same boat.

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