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Failure/Failing

I had my surgery on 03/17/2015 and I thought, this is it!!!! I had read stories of people that gained back all the weight and sometimes more and I thought why would you do that and how could you if your stomach was removed. I had the Sleeve and I said not me no way no how. WELL here we are in 10/28/16 and I have not gotten to goal and have been fighting the same 8lbs for the last 8 month. food is a whole lot easier to eat and eat I have been and then I realize I am up the same eight and get back on track and lose a few and that VICIOUS VICIOUS cycle will start again. I am in other Bariatric sites and even buy their expensive Protein powder saying this will get me back on track but my MIND JUST WONT HELP ME.

How do you make your mind understand to let the sweets and carbs go and not want them. I am like some sick addict that at night says I will not touch it, I will get clean and then morning comes and I fall right into the addiction of bad food.

I get super jealous (the good kind) when I see others who have succeeded and look at the before and after photos and am like COME ON WOMAN this could be you and for a fleeting instant I can tackle it but then the addict comes back out and I get my fix of something or anything--even if it doesn't taste good. A sick addict does that.

I want to reach my goal by my birthday in Feb 2017--a little over 30lbs to get there and I hope that I can reign in this addict that lives within me to get there.

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I am a carb addict. I have accepted it and I'll be the first one to admit it. It always makes me nervous when I hear people on this board go on and on about how they are learning to eat in moderation when someone says something to them about something carby they are wanting to consume.

For me, there is no moderation with carbs -- none at all. While I can't cut them out of my life completely, I can minimize them in weight loss now and in maintenance later on. Some ask if it is something I could keep up long-term, and I say if it keeps me from weighing 400 pounds again, you bet your ass I can.

I encourage you to get back on the low-carb train and ride that bad boy to your goal. You'll get there. And once you rid yourself of the carbs, the cravings will subside and you'll strengthen your willpower to say no to them in those tough situations.

Best wishes!

  • Popular Post

The only way for most of us to stop craving high carb or high sugar foods is to stop eating them. It's hard to do! Here is what I do when I find myself going off the rails with high carb or high sugar foods:

1. Get all of those "off plan" foods out of the house. You can't be tempted by them if they aren't there. If there are other people you live with, well, no one *needs* crackers or frozen waffles or chips or cookies. If they want to eat that crap, they can do it outside the house at least for a little while.

2. For five days, eat nothing but unprocessed meats (no deli/lunch meat, bacon, sausage, or jerky), green veggies, healthy fats (olive oil, grass fed butter), eggs, herbs and spices. No sauces, no cheese, nothing like that. But for those five days, you get to eat as much as you want, whenever you want! That way there is no way you can experience actual hunger. This will help you re-learn the difference between hunger and cravings, and it will also help you re-establish your restriction.

3. For those five days, no liquid calories and especially no artificial sweeteners. This will help banish your cravings for sweets and carbs.

4. At the end of the five days, commit to logging all of my food intake on myfitnesspal. Set a calorie goal that will keep me in a caloric deficit.

5. Plan my food intake at the beginning of each day and pre-log it in myfitnesspal. This helps when I get hungry in between meals or snacks. I can remind myself: "yes, I am hungry now, it is no fun to be hungry, but I am not going to starve. I will eat an apple and some turkey jerky in a couple of hours and I can wait until then."

Yes, this involves some planning, work, and change. But unfortunately at least for me there are no shortcuts or magic potions or tricks. If I stick it out, it works. Good luck!

Edited by Bufflehead

  • Popular Post

@@coloreyes Congrats on your loss so far! I had a few sessions of therapy pre-op to deal with this type of issue. I believe it helped (although I'm only 10 days out so that's yet to be proven). I agree about cutting out carbs - they just make you crave them more. Go back to tracking - focus on protein and getting in enough fluids. You have come this far - you can do it!

:v

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

I did a low carb diet ( on my own) about a year ago and its true, you stop craving carbs or sweets. I lost 50 lbs in 5 months- no exercise!

I am a carb JUNKIE! I can TOTALLY relate to this post because i do the exact same thing and ive said the exact same thing- I feel like before i eat, my mouth begins to Water, i think my breathing may even increase but I feel like i HAVE to get my fix. Then i eat and experience such a guilty feeling afterwards and i start feeling like u have no hope. But then when im finally not full anymore i begin the whole process again. I feel the addiction. Its horrible. :(

Im in the beginning of my journey now. First nutrition appointment is mid December. BMI 48. 5'6" 300lbs.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

But if you just use will power just for 2-3 days and eat low carb it begins to get easier and easier until you have no cravings for carbs. I used to allow one cheat day per week but it always ended up being a whole wknd. Lol. I did well in this diet but then went on vacation and for me, its sooo hard to get back on a diet once you get away from it.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

The only way I stay away from carbs, is cold turkey. I can't go near carby foods or down the rabbit hole I go. It is so hard...but then I look in the mirror and see I have ankles for the first time in 11yrs...so I keep plodding along. I understand completely how strong that craving is. Hang in there!

Sent from my XT1650 using the BariatricPal App

  • Popular Post

You sought the help of a surgeon to "fix" the physical part of portion control, why not seek the help of a psych professional to address the mental parts? Some people can fix this part on their own through self imposed will power, excercise, self help books, addiction recovery programs, etc. If you have tried all of these options without success, I strongly recommend you seek personal counseling. You are an addict and need to figure out what drives you to do the things you do so you can address those issues and devise a plan to change those addictive behaviors.

My sleeve, diligently sticking to my diet plan and tracking/measuring everything helped me lose weight initially, but I give full credit to my therapist for helping me to keep losing to goal and staying there. What I learned over 3 years with her has helped improve ALL aspects of my live, not just the parts involving food. It took a long time, hard work, and a lot of commitment, but 6 years later my new behaviors and skinny lifestyle are just normal for me now.

  • Popular Post

I hope that you're calmer today. It's your disappointment that I can relate to, having lost 115 lbs from the time of my surgery and then, about 45 lbs from the loose goal I had in mind, beginning to regain about 75 lbs. It's "failure" and "failing" that I don't feel (not all the time, at any rate), as I know exactly what set me in reverse. It's all the other, original-equipment crap that kept me regaining.

@@Bufflehead and @@KristenLe have offered perfect suggestions. Bufflehead's tip to turn to healthy, real foood stands out. Forget the proteen (deliberate misspellings) powwders. Real foood is so much more satisfying and, well, real. It's also a pointer to more smart foood choices. Shaakes, not. KristenLe homed in on your weight loss and what you've kept off. Take a look at that and take ownership of its significance.

Say some kind things to yourself. Your own thought process is a far greater obstacle than are sugar and carbs.

There's some magical thinking in the mix. Your stomach wasn't removed and, if you knew at the start that you had to acquire new eating habits, knowing that regain and no loss were possibilities were part of the package.

We are all the sum of our minds, bodies, emotions, experiences and more. By viewing your mind as a separate entity, you're putting up road blocks. If it isn't part of you, of course you have no control over it.

"Vicious." "Addict." "Sick addict." "Super jealous (of which there is no good kind)." Negative to the max.

It's possible that you will reach your goal by your birthday, but it makes no sense to put a deadline on yourself. What if you're three lbs short on the day? The way you're speaking suggests that you may wail that you're a failure over three lbs. "Losing weight" as a goal, period, makes sense. Losing weight is good.

It's not sugar that derailed you. It's all the stuff that took you to it. Working with a therapist isn't at all a bad idea. A cognitive behaviorist can be a great help in sorting things out and reclaiming the power.

Edited by WLSResources/ClothingExch

I lost 100 lbs but can't lose any more. It has been almost 4 years but I hate eating. I have to take anxiety meds to eat. The bad thing is I drink more than I should. I hate being like this[emoji29]

I am not a vet...kinda an in-betweener....but I know, for me...just my experience...I stalled for like 3wks...totally heartbreaking...but I was told to change it up a bit, add a bit more calories, play around with my workout routine and try eating some different foods...so I did, I increased my calories by 150...I challenged myself with new exercises and ate things I hadn't tried ... Different meats, veggies, nuts...etc. About 3days later, boom, scale dropped 2pnds. I was able to start loosing a bit more...now I've stalled again, but when I do, I get out of my routine and change it up...not too long, the scale starts to move again. I an no expert, but this is what has helped me. Good luck!!

Sent from my XT1650 using the BariatricPal App

There is great advice here. I will gain weight eating 1000 calories a day from sugar and starch. My tolerance is basically nil. Your liver produces 300g of glucose for basic body functions everyday regardless of what you eat, so eating more carbs on top of that can be a recipe for disaster.

Fructose (half of the table sugar [sucrose] we consume is glucose, the other half is fructose) Is unique in the way it interacts in our body. Fructose crosses the blood/brain barrier, in a similar way to highly addictive drugs like opiates, cocaine, and methamphetamine.

The result is extreme cravings, withdrawal symptoms and very high relapse rates when trying to give it up. Many of the most addictive food products that people crave and can't give up are made with high fructose corn syrup, which is even more addictive than table sugar because of the higher fructose content.

I have read studies that report it is harder to quit sugar than smoking, heroin or alcohol addiction. The difference, of course, is that we recognize those are dangerous, deadly and addictive substances and have rehab programs set up to help those addicts.

Fructose is passed out by the fistfuls to children at Halloween, Christmas, Easter and readily available dirt cheap on literally every corner store and restaurant everywhere you look.

  • Author

Thank you all for the wonderful replies and information. I will try to follow in order to get to my goal.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I had my surgery on 03/17/2015 and I thought, this is it!!!! I had read stories of people that gained back all the weight and sometimes more and I thought why would you do that and how could you if your stomach was removed. I had the Sleeve and I said not me no way no how. WELL here we are in 10/28/16 and I have not gotten to goal and have been fighting the same 8lbs for the last 8 month. food is a whole lot easier to eat and eat I have been and then I realize I am up the same eight and get back on track and lose a few and that VICIOUS VICIOUS cycle will start again. I am in other Bariatric sites and even buy their expensive Protein powder saying this will get me back on track but my MIND JUST WONT HELP ME.

How do you make your mind understand to let the sweets and carbs go and not want them. I am like some sick addict that at night says I will not touch it, I will get clean and then morning comes and I fall right into the addiction of bad food.

I get super jealous (the good kind) when I see others who have succeeded and look at the before and after photos and am like COME ON WOMAN this could be you and for a fleeting instant I can tackle it but then the addict comes back out and I get my fix of something or anything--even if it doesn't taste good. A sick addict does that.

I want to reach my goal by my birthday in Feb 2017--a little over 30lbs to get there and I hope that I can reign in this addict that lives within me to get there.

Im 8 mo out. I find that if i don't stock my fridge with healthy Snacks i dont have good weekly results. Keep sugar free popsicles and fruits handy.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-T337A using the BariatricPal App

  • 2 weeks later...

I am not a doctor and this is not advice. I am just writing what I went through in my pre op program. Part of the program was a session with the psychologist. He asked me bunches of questions about my eating habits, and then we got to diets. He said, "Diets are a recipe for failure. As soon as you make something forbidden, you just want it more, and you WILL fail".

He (as part of the program) advocated for an 80/20 rule. He said, "Eat the stuff you are supposed to eat 80 percent of the time. The other 20% of the time is the time to eat the good stuff that is no good for you. That allows you to have a taste, and it is not something you start to crave because you know you will be able to have it from time to time".

Maybe this will work for you and maybe not. It has been doing pretty good for me so far. Good luck with it.

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