Mother had successful WLS but talking me OUT of mine

[Malin 470]

Hello all! A few years ago my mother had a gastric sleeve procedure and had amazing results. Now that I am seriously considering one, she's trying to talk me out of it. She cites she still has a lot of nausea, dizziness, etc. Perhaps she's that way since she was not in very good health before the surgery. My BMI is 38, very high cholesterol, BP lately is terrible and my sleep apnea is getting worse (but not enough for insurance to cover surgery, grrrr.) I don't want to be ANY bigger and have my health get worse. So I am scratching my head on why she is trying to talk me out of this. I am a grown woman (well, mostly.. ) but I take her opinion seriously seeing as she has gone through it. Has anyone else had nausea/dizziness linger years after the procedure?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

No, I don't have nausea or dizziness.

Has your mother talked to her surgeon or PCP about her issues?

[Malin 470]

Thanks for replying! Ya know, she really should. I think she wants to blame all that on the sleeve. And I know her, she likely pushes the proper eating limits. I'd hate to think she's talking me out of it b/c she likes being smaller than me. I suspect that--again I know how she is. I know this is something that is an investment in ME and my family, and I'm looking forward to it.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

If, in fact, she is threatened by your weight loss it might be a good idea to talk to a counselor or therapist about how to set boundaries with your mom.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

she's trying to talk me out of it.

@@Malin

mom continues to do great with her weight loss!! that's great

but......after a few years she still has problems!!

she sadly has/had health issue still

i think she is concerned you might have similar problems/issues

but no two people have the same experience with WLS

remind her that you are confident and feel all will be well for you

you are at a young age, health and weight are not good

but - not terrible

but you want to nip this in the bud!!!

most people on this board have the regret they didn't have surgery years ago

keep reading about the surgery so you can say something

positive against her negativity

listening to your moms situation/respecting her opinions are great

end of day - being a "grown women" (early 20s?)

YOU must make your own decision

don't let ANYONE try and change your mind

not even mom!!

good luck

kathy

[Malin 470]

thanks Kathy! actually I'm 43 married and with kids of my own. I'm a big kid at heart. Her results were so amazing that my boys did not recognize her when they saw her 6mths after her procedure. Her snoring is practically gone (our family superpower is ripping the roof off with our snoring!) and she's had so many other benefits too. Thanks for your advice.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

@@Malin Not telling you what to do..... but i gained 10lbs to be at a 40 bmi.... and would do it again. gain 10 to lose 100.... hell yess

You have to leave your mom out of this situation.... she is not you. You have to make your own choices... Every surgery is different and you may not experience what she is

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

43 married with kids of my own.

@@Malin

you'll always look 20 to me

good luck

kathy

[Malin 470]

You're a dear, Kathy. And I think "gaining to lose" might be a good strategy @@bayougirlmrsc

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

@@Malin i had UHC and found out ahead that i didn't meet the requirements. No co-morbids..... i was 5'2" and 220-223ish .... So i gained 10lbs to make sure i did.... and i did. almost 7 years later... im a fabulous 125-130ish lbs

[Malin 470]

QUICK! Somebody get me a marie calendar's coconut cream pie and a fork!

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

@@Malin girl... chick-fa-lay.... Cookies and cream milkshakes..... Think about how easy it is for us to gain 10lbs.... snap.. Piece of cake.... ohhh cake with ice cream

[Malin 470]

BAHAHAHA! Right? Fried okra...waffle fries....or one trip to New Orleans would probably do the trick! I can eat my way around that city. I swear I gained 7 pounds over one weekend there this summer. Beignets, fried gator tail...

[BayougirlMrsS 3,933]

@@Malin Wait... you live in NOLA?

[blizair09 3,250]

You have to do what you have to do. She'll get on board eventually.

Hearing this makes me even more thankful for my family. My Mom, Dad, and brother have had the sleeve, the bypass, an the band respectively over the past many years. They had a come-to-Jesus with me last Thanksgiving about using surgery as a tool to get my weight under control. I'll always love them just because they are them, but I love them even more for that.

Good luck!