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What has been the hardest part of your journey thus far?



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Honestly this has been the one question that i've been dying to ask everyone who has had wls.

Everyone is different, so what was the biggest change for you?

Was it realizing that you can no longer eat certain foods? Or is it exercise? Or was it emotional changes like depression?

Or anything else you can think of.

I'm just trying to get myself mentally prepared for all of the many changes about to come.

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Right after surgery 2-3 days, you have the overwhelming sense of loss. That maybe they took too much stomach, that there is no turning back, that you are gonna die. But it does go away. That was the worst part for me.

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@@hbrhonda surprisingly that was the one thing i never even thought about. But i'm sure i will right after my surgery.

@@Icantbelieveit oh wow, so it wasn't the types of food you were eating, just the portions that were causing anxiety? For me i think it will be a huge adjustment to realize that i can longer have some of my favorite foods. Because i just don't need them.

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For me the early portion of post-op and weight loss mode really wasn't hard. The weight fell off like magic, I got compliments all the time, I got to buy cute new clothes, I felt fantastic. I didn't have any complications and didn't experience any depression or regret or anxiety after the surgery.

Things got hard for me when I had to lose the last few pounds and transition into maintenance. I had been in denial about some things -- though I would have parroted back some wls sayings to you and swore that I believed them, things like "you have to change your relationship with food" and "you have to commit to this for the rest of your life." As I got closer to maintenance and then into maintenance, I realized that:

--I would have to work hard to maintain my new weight for the rest of my life, for real

--The way I ate in weight loss mode would be very very similar to the way I would have to eat for the rest of my life

--I would not be able to "eat what I want in moderation" and still be successful at maintenance

--I would not be able to have anything like a regular cheat/self-sabotage day or meal in maintenance and still be successful

All of these things did kind of put me in a tailspin. I basically gave up because I just felt defeated -- right at the time I should have been feeling triumphant! I ended up re-gaining about 20 lbs right after I hit my goal weight.

I managed to turn myself around, gave myself a good talking-to about the idiocy of feeling sorry for myself, and worked hard to get those 20 lbs off again.

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Before surgery, it was fear for my husbands life, and my fear of the unknown.

After surgery it was fear of what the hell is going to happen now, I will act like I am pitiful and post surgery.

Two days later I was walking in the grocery store.

Four days later I was in the mall, visualize what I might buy one day. I had a little cheese stick and Protein Shake with me so I would not be hungry, and damn!!! I never got hungry! Amaaaaaaazzzzziiiinnng!

Three years post op, NO FEAR!

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@@Bufflehead thank you!!! That's exactly what i wasn't sure about. I know i can do it but i know it's going to be hard. At the end of the day, how we're deciding to lose weight is different from most people so how we stay on track will be different too. It's sounds ok to hear but i'm sure once i actually am in that stage i'll know just how hard it is to maintain my new lifestyle. The no cheat meals will be hard for sure.

I think for me personally i'm going to meet with my dietician a few times after my surgery.

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@@hbrhonda surprisingly that was the one thing i never even thought about. But i'm sure i will right after my surgery.

@@Icantbelieveit oh wow, so it wasn't the types of food you were eating, just the portions that were causing anxiety? For me i think it will be a huge adjustment to realize that i can longer have some of my favorite foods. Because i just don't need them.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I never worried about not having a certain food ever again, because if I am that crazy about whatever food in time I can have it. Even if it isb3yrs down the road.

But the thought of no big bowl of Pasta, big plate of XYZ is out the window because of the physical impossibility actually gave me anxiety. I wasnt a big eater all the time, just a bad eater. So it took me off guard that this would be an issue.Wasn't a thought before surgery really.

I still have anxiety about eating a larger portion than I can handle, even with portioning. Paranoid about stretching my pouch. Paranoid if the portion will trigger me to stop losing. When I watch 600lb life and they dont lose or actually gain after surgery and I see their portion sizes, I always wonder how they can eat that amount.

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For me the early portion of post-op and weight loss mode really wasn't hard. The weight fell off like magic, I got compliments all the time, I got to buy cute new clothes, I felt fantastic. I didn't have any complications and didn't experience any depression or regret or anxiety after the surgery.

Things got hard for me when I had to lose the last few pounds and transition into maintenance. I had been in denial about some things -- though I would have parroted back some wls sayings to you and swore that I believed them, things like "you have to change your relationship with food" and "you have to commit to this for the rest of your life." As I got closer to maintenance and then into maintenance, I realized that:

--I would have to work hard to maintain my new weight for the rest of my life, for real

--The way I ate in weight loss mode would be very very similar to the way I would have to eat for the rest of my life

--I would not be able to "eat what I want in moderation" and still be successful at maintenance

--I would not be able to have anything like a regular cheat/self-sabotage day or meal in maintenance and still be successful

All of these things did kind of put me in a tailspin. I basically gave up because I just felt defeated -- right at the time I should have been feeling triumphant! I ended up re-gaining about 20 lbs right after I hit my goal weight.

I managed to turn myself around, gave myself a good talking-to about the idiocy of feeling sorry for myself, and worked hard to get those 20 lbs off again.

Yes on EVERYTHING you just said!!!

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Not being able to eat or take in a lot of fluids! I'm 8 days post op and I still can't have more than 3-4 bites. I had a terrible hernia that was repaired during surgery so my healing is progressing very slow. Thank goodness for popsicles!

I wonder.... When will it get better? What will my normal diet consist of?

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It will get better. My husband and I, and so many many people here, had hernia repairs during surgery. Just keep sipping. Look toward the prize!

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Long term maintenance has definitely been the toughest.

Looking back, Those first couple years were so exciting and easy. It may not have seemed that way at the time, of course. There was the liquid diets, the diarrhea, the Constipation, the fatigue, missing out on eating a lot of good foods, struggling to stay hydrated, the emotional break downs, etc. But these things were all temporary and the perceived sacrifices were rewarded with weight loss, lots of NSVs and a new wardrobe!

But maintenance is forever. Its boring, NSVs are nearly nonexistent and the scale doesn't really move unless it's in the wrong direction. You have to be diligent and stay on plan day after day after day. Like Bufflehead said, the way you eat to lose is very close to how you will have to eat to maintain....for the rest of your life! I have no doubt I Would not be able to do this without the psychological tools I got from my therapist and from the support and advice from those that went before me.

You are doing exactly what you need to be doing....asking lots of questions. The better prepared and informed you are, the better you will be able to deal with all the little negatives along the way. A good attitude and keeping your energy focused on the long term rewards will go a long ways in making everything easier.

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For me the early portion of post-op and weight loss mode really wasn't hard. The weight fell off like magic, I got compliments all the time, I got to buy cute new clothes, I felt fantastic. I didn't have any complications and didn't experience any depression or regret or anxiety after the surgery.

Things got hard for me when I had to lose the last few pounds and transition into maintenance. I had been in denial about some things -- though I would have parroted back some wls sayings to you and swore that I believed them, things like "you have to change your relationship with food" and "you have to commit to this for the rest of your life." As I got closer to maintenance and then into maintenance, I realized that:

--I would have to work hard to maintain my new weight for the rest of my life, for real

--The way I ate in weight loss mode would be very very similar to the way I would have to eat for the rest of my life

--I would not be able to "eat what I want in moderation" and still be successful at maintenance

--I would not be able to have anything like a regular cheat/self-sabotage day or meal in maintenance and still be successful

All of these things did kind of put me in a tailspin. I basically gave up because I just felt defeated -- right at the time I should have been feeling triumphant! I ended up re-gaining about 20 lbs right after I hit my goal weight.

I managed to turn myself around, gave myself a good talking-to about the idiocy of feeling sorry for myself, and worked hard to get those 20 lbs off again.

This is a beautiful and honest post, and I couldn't agree more.

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It will get better. My husband and I, and so many many people here, had hernia repairs during surgery. Just keep sipping. Look toward the prize!

It's good to know that I'm not alone. I will continue to sip until it gets better! I just wish I knew how long! ????

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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