Turned down due to borderline personality disorder

[saramarie 4]

I guess I say "hoping" because so many things change with weight loss.

Hormonally things tend to "reset", I will be eating healthier than ever~ or will be when I can have solids and I might be deficient in something that is resolved. And there are still a lot of things that are unexplained about bipolar and about the surgery...

I guess I will see... I may also just be in denial about being BPII

[genn 460]

Sounds to be like they are holding your mental health against you. Don't even bother with them find someone else. It's not right!!! My sister got this surgery and was bi polar and is bi polar !!! This drs office wouldn't be some where I would want to be sound very judgmental.

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[ProudGrammy 8,322]

meet with surgeon in 6 days

@@anonmom

referring to your post #11

i'm excited for you

good for you on not giving up

Perseverance - you got it!!!

you've already met with one dr

how did it go??

do tell

Inquiry minds want to know

good luck

kathy

[anonmom 95]

Thanks! I liked the surgeon at the second practice, so I'm tentatively planning to go ahead with her.

Right now I'm just worried that I can't gain any weight between now and my second dietician visit. I feel like I'm in the middle of a month-long food funeral

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[julasif 13]

That really pisses me off that they told you that! Seriously awful! Im glad you found somebody else. As far as going off meds, I think ut would depend on what you are on meds for. I take a very low dose SSRI. I only began struggling with depression after getting post partum heart failure. I personally think its the beta blocker causing the mild depression and think if surgery alliws me to stop the beta blocker, I might be able to stop the SSRI. Also, sometimes depression can be handled through healthy eating and exercise. However, I think any reduction in mental health medication should be strictly doctor supervised and expectations realistic. Good luck!

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[CHM 1,011]

I agree that this is odd. I'm glad you were able to find another surgeon who is more reasonable.

I was very open at my psych eval, revealing both borderline personality disorder - complete with its accompanying history of cutting, eating disorders, and suicide attempts - as well as my psychiatrist's suspicion of bipolar II. They didn't much seem to care.

All they were interested in was:

1. How long ago my last major episode of anything (other than depression/anxiety) was. I was just past the 5 year marker that they were looking for. Had things been even 2 months more recent, I'd have been put under a magnifying glass.

2. That I was receiving regular treatment via counselling and/or meds. I was not not on meds at the time (having been pulled off of the anti-anxiety/anti-psychotic/mood stabilizer cocktail when I was trying to get pregnant the year before), but I'd been seeing a psychologist weekly and a psychiatrist monthly.

3. That I, by all accounts, appeared to be honest with both them and myself, reasonable in my expectations of surgery (as in not expecting it to turn me into an instant swimsuit model and make my life perfect while I stuffed myself with McDonald's every day), and both aware of and accountable for any weaknesses or shortcomings that may interfere with my efforts.

Having said all of that, I must admit that I have seen a resurgence of some distinctly BPD issues since surgery. I'm in my mid-30s, so well passed the timeframe you'd expect to find such struggles. Granted I've seen a lot of change in my life fairly recently, but it's been good change - nothing you'd expect would trigger anything (okay okay...the skin hate is real, and it's deep).

I am by no means saying that everyone who has had issues in the past will see them return post-surgery. I'm just saying they could. Our medical teams watch for these things and flag our files for a reason. Just be aware. Be honest. And be forgiving of this novelette I seem to have written for you.

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[anonmom 95]

Just saw the last 2 responses when I came on here to update. CHM, I'd be interested to hear what BPD issues have come up for you post-surgery. I am turning 40 next month, so I have also been relatively stable for many years.

As far as my update: I did both of my psych eval appointments and my second dietician visit. Now I just have to wait for the psychologist to send the report to the surgeons' office and then wait for the surgeon's office to send the request to my insurance so I can schedule my surgery. I am taking a vacation in mid-january and I was told I can't fly until 6 weeks after surgery, so that means I'll be having surgery at the end of January if everything goes well!

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[ProudGrammy 8,322]

surgery at the end of January if everything goes well!

@@anonmom

that's great!!!

wonderful updatgte

glad you found a dr that will perform WLS

A dr is allowed to choose his patients

just like a patient is allowed to choose his doc

but.................doesn't seem right to deny people for mental health issues

going on vacation?? did you forget something???

well, well, well....

you forgot to send me an invitation!!!

maybe it got lost in the mail??!!

next year, ok?? (hint, hint!! LOL)

enjoy getting ready for vaca

more importantly WLS

you'll be happier than you could have dreamed of

hope approval goes without a hitch!!

good luck

kathy

[Hammer_Down 631]

Have you considered the self pay options in Mexico?

I'm very familiar with BPD (wife's family history) and I realize that self harm and eating disorders are a key feature of BPD. I can understand that tied to the impulsive behaviour associated with BPD, bariatric surgery could be risky.

However, if you are showing regression at 39 (not everyone experiences this, though many women do) and are receiving psychiatric care for BPD (the hardest part), it seems unreasonable to cite BPD as the sole reason for denial.

[CHM 1,011]

@@anonmom

The most notable issue, as anyone familiar with BPD may have guessed, is the return of eating disorder behaviours. Nothing meets diagnostic criteria or anything at this time, but since around 5 months post-op I have had significant struggles with my caloric intake. At 5 months I was at a range of 800-1000 cals/day, but since then it has slipped bit by bit. Last month I admitted to myself that it was definitely an issue again when I realized that my anxiety level was directly related to the number of calories I was consuming. I was only comfortable under 300 cals. 300-399 made me nervous. If I broke 400 calories my anxiety shot through the roof. I was making decisions on what/if I ate based not on whether I was hungry or if I'd hit my Protein goal for the day, but on whether it would push me over 400 calories. I also may or may not have forcefully vomited a time or two (or three or four...).

The last time I had these issues, the only way I was able to shut down the behaviours was by leaping in the opposite direction - ignoring calories and simply eating what I felt like when I felt like it. Therefore I am not currently tracking my food. This has indeed provided a temporary solution in that I once again eat when I'm hungry and am surely getting in enough calories. However this has made me less diligent in where those calories are coming from, and carbs in particular have crept back in a little more than I should have allowed. I have now regained a few pounds (5, to be exact) over the last month since I've quit tracking. This is how I got fat the first time. I'm giving myself one more week to get my sh*t together, then I'm back to tracking, and whatever will be will be. While neither is ideal, I'd rather deal with eating disorders than undo everything I've just done. The fact is, anorexia is easier to treat. I've already had bypass - I have no further surgical solutions for obesity.

Eating disorders aside, my emotions are also pretty out of control again. Weight loss has awoken me in many ways, and after decades of being locked tightly away, feelings are once again free and loose - and very, VERY intense. I don't become sad, I become devastated. I don't get hurt, I get destroyed. I don't feel pressure, I feel completely overwhelmed. I don't simply get happy, I get ecstatic. Everything is felt very deeply, and even the good feelings are piercing to the point of pain. Almost makes me miss the days of just going through the motions with a completely disconnected plastic smile. Almost.

[tfarr 270]

That is a lie. I have both. I live in NH. I am 2 yrs post op. If I were you I would look else where.

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[anonmom 95]

@@anonmom

The most notable issue, as anyone familiar with BPD may have guessed, is the return of eating disorder behaviours. Nothing meets diagnostic criteria or anything at this time, but since around 5 months post-op I have had significant struggles with my caloric intake. At 5 months I was at a range of 800-1000 cals/day, but since then it has slipped bit by bit. Last month I admitted to myself that it was definitely an issue again when I realized that my anxiety level was directly related to the number of calories I was consuming. I was only comfortable under 300 cals. 300-399 made me nervous. If I broke 400 calories my anxiety shot through the roof. I was making decisions on what/if I ate based not on whether I was hungry or if I'd hit my Protein goal for the day, but on whether it would push me over 400 calories. I also may or may not have forcefully vomited a time or two (or three or four...).

The last time I had these issues, the only way I was able to shut down the behaviours was by leaping in the opposite direction - ignoring calories and simply eating what I felt like when I felt like it. Therefore I am not currently tracking my food. This has indeed provided a temporary solution in that I once again eat when I'm hungry and am surely getting in enough calories. However this has made me less diligent in where those calories are coming from, and carbs in particular have crept back in a little more than I should have allowed. I have now regained a few pounds (5, to be exact) over the last month since I've quit tracking. This is how I got fat the first time. I'm giving myself one more week to get my sh*t together, then I'm back to tracking, and whatever will be will be. While neither is ideal, I'd rather deal with eating disorders than undo everything I've just done. The fact is, anorexia is easier to treat. I've already had bypass - I have no further surgical solutions for obesity.

Eating disorders aside, my emotions are also pretty out of control again. Weight loss has awoken me in many ways, and after decades of being locked tightly away, feelings are once again free and loose - and very, VERY intense. I don't become sad, I become devastated. I don't get hurt, I get destroyed. I don't feel pressure, I feel completely overwhelmed. I don't simply get happy, I get ecstatic. Everything is felt very deeply, and even the good feelings are piercing to the point of pain. Almost makes me miss the days of just going through the motions with a completely disconnected plastic smile. Almost.

@@CHM

I hear that about the emotions. I've mostly been the "feeling emotions very deeply" type of borderline, but I've certainly had stretches of time when I was shut down and that is even worse.

My fiancé is going through the type of defrosting or awakening you describe here, and it has been very hard. I hope you are doing well. *hugs*

I did get my final approval and my surgery date, so I am getting my sleeve on 1/26. Can't wait!

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[pvechiola 195]

I'm bipolar. I had the sleeve done. No issues with my qualification. They just needed to know I had med management and a therapist. Go somewhere else. Mental illness is no reason to be denied!

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I'm bipolar also and they just need me to give the papers to my psychiatrist to approve me on her end.

[Christina.Rose 287]

I have PTSD anxiety and depression and was approved. You should try some other practice or perhaps you have a psychiatrist already that you work with who knows you are stable? Maybe ask for a letter of recommendation to submit to the mental health physician at the current practice you are at. Stability is what I was told is the key. You may have been just a default denial from a lazy shrink.....of course I am assuming a lot.....but try again.