Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🎉 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins

Feeling annoyed with my bf... need advice

krazykristen

Recommended Posts

krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

So Im having my sleeve surgery on October 5th. And my boyfriend mentioned us going to this outdoor event on October 14th, about a week or so after my surgery. I told him that was fine as long as Im able to get up and walk around fine. He kinda smarted off and said, "you act like this is a major surgery or something." Ugh. Makes me so mad. Its like hes taking this lightly and not seriously and idk what to say to him. It kinda hurt my feelings. Any advice?

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted (edited)

Umm it is major surgery. How old is your BF?

You can probably go to this outdoor event fine, but if there is a lot of walking you might get tired, if the weather is still warm (it was 90 here today) the heat might wear you out.

Do you live with him?

Maybe when he sees you in the hospital, he will understand it isn't a casual thing.

I could say more but I'm going to play it cool for once. Good luck.

Edited by OutsideMatchInside

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

And yes I do live with him. Not really sure about how its gonna work after my surgery. He seems supportive yet says crap like that and it really frustrates me. For the past 2 years Ive devoted my time and effort to HIS 4 year old kid so now is my time to focus on myself for once and he acts weird about it.

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Christinamo7    4,042

Christinamo7
Posted

hopefully he just is a little bit clueless.

However, if you have no complications, you should be fine unless it is too hot. then dehydration could be an issue. I didn't have a hernia repair or anything and I just got tired a little more easily at that point. There's just no way to know ahead of time how your recovery would be - so I'd have a back up plan, i.e. if tickets have to be purchased who else could go with him if you are just not up to it?

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dub    10,070

Dub
Posted

Tell that sumbitch to grow a pair and support you.

If it's too hot by your standards then.....it's too hot.....period.

If it's too hot to walk by your standards then......it's too hot.....period.

Punkassmofo.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted

Yeah my friends in Texas have been posting temps in the 100s on Facebook. Not good for recovering from surgery. You might have a lot of energy post-op, I did, but I would get tired very fast. I would go from being full of energy to exhausted almost instantly.

Just tell him you aren't going and leave it at that, then you don't have to worry about getting there and wanting to go home, or wasting money on a ticket or whatever.

If this is his attitude now, this does not bode well for the future of your relationship.

Is he otherwise supportive of your choice or does he see it as an overall inconvenience?

And now I am going to be nosey, you shouldn't be taking care of some dudes kid without a ring and his last name. When you start focusing on yourself and taking care of yourself and looking better, he is probably going to show out with you. Like sit in front of you and eat all your favorites when you are 3 weeks out and on purees.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

Tell that sumbitch to grow a pair and support you.

If it's too hot by your standards then.....it's too hot.....period.

If it's too hot to walk by your standards then......it's too hot.....period.

Punkassmofo.

Lmaooooo you made me laugh.

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

Yeah my friends in Texas have been posting temps in the 100s on Facebook. Not good for recovering from surgery. You might have a lot of energy post-op, I did, but I would get tired very fast. I would go from being full of energy to exhausted almost instantly.

Just tell him you aren't going and leave it at that, then you don't have to worry about getting there and wanting to go home, or wasting money on a ticket or whatever.

If this is his attitude now, this does not bode well for the future of your relationship.

Is he otherwise supportive of your choice or does he see it as an overall inconvenience?

And now I am going to be nosey, you shouldn't be taking care of some dudes kid without a ring and his last name. When you start focusing on yourself and taking care of yourself and looking better, he is probably going to show out with you. Like sit in front of you and eat all your favorites when you are 3 weeks out and on purees.

Youre right, and part of me just wants to be alone through this process... idk.

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted

Can you be alone? Can you move out? Are there other issues? Maybe even just recover at home with your family?

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

Unfortunately the apartment is in my name and I cant get out of it until next June. He has no where to go if I kicked him out. I have family I can stay with but sometimes I think I stay because Im so insecure.

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted

@@krazykristen

Can you cover the rent if he is gone? I mean honestly it already sounds like this relationship has an expiration date.

When you lose weight, feel better, and have more confidence, he is not going to be able to hang.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

@@krazykristen

Can you cover the rent if he is gone? I mean honestly it already sounds like this relationship has an expiration date.

When you lose weight, feel better, and have more confidence, he is not going to be able to hang.

I would need a roommate. And I know. But at this point Im just saying screw it and focusing on myself and if he can't hang then PEACE!

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

OutsideMatchInside    10,166

OutsideMatchInside
Posted

Just start planning for the worst and hope for the best.

Do you have friends that can help you post-op if he refuses?

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

krazykristen    61

krazykristen
Posted

Just start planning for the worst and hope for the best.

Do you have friends that can help you post-op if he refuses?

Oh yeah. Im pretty good at taking care of myself but I have friends and family who are super supportive. Im just not feeling that secure with our relationship at the moment. Theres a lot going on so I dont really know how to handle this. I see so many stories of people who break up after surgery and its hard to think about. But at the same time I gotta do what makes me happy and losing weight and feeling good about myself will get me there so Im not letting anyone ruin my happiness anymore

Sent from my SM-G900P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    Bariatric Forums

    For Patients

    Health Professionals

    Search Surgeons

    Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

    ×