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What to tell people?



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Go with Hiatal Hernia repair ... recovery, scars, etc are almost identical. It's no one's business but this seems to put them at ease. It also explains why you're eating the way you have to eat for the following few months.

I mention this because even if you're splitting meals with your spouse, for a long time, you will literally take a few bites and have to be done. Then you sit and visit with a full plate of food ... it can be a little awkward.

I personally just don't have time to explain all my reasons for why I needed to do this. I'm not really trying to be sneaky or secretive but my weight issues are just not something I feel comfortable discussing. If people know, and then I don't talk about it, it becomes and even bigger deal and I just don't want it to be a deal at all!

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Edited by NewAdventure2016

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I like to fall back on the standard...."I'm having female problems" . When asked what kind of female problems by well meaning female relatives I just said, "It's very personal". That is usually enough to halt all additional conversation. Later you will be asked how did you do it? How did you lose all that weight. My standard answer was, "it was a lot of dedication to my health, diet and Dr's orders. I would also add that I followed a low carb, high Protein diet. If people wanted specifics I would just say well, no more than 40 carbs a day, at least 70 grams of Protein, 70-100 ounces of Water daily and under 1000 calories. You have to just skirt around the edges if you don't want to advertise the fact that you had surgery for weight loss. It's NO ONES BUSINESS but yours and your mate. Some people are very open about it but others know that the type of friends or family they have will look down on it as "taking the easy way out". I'm here to tell you there is nothing EASY about major surgery...

I have to agree with you on saying female problems. Sometimes once you say that either someone just gives you the oh I understand or they want to tell you a story to try to explain they can relate.

Stephanie - I'm definitely going to use the diet specifics you gave because I have a lot of nosy ppl at my job and it's none of their business about my decision. My husband and I thought about this for a few years because my arthritis has been so bad I've been getting injections and have really bad moments where I can hardly walk. I'm tired because I can't even go to the gym like I use to. This isn't the easy way out at all and it's a very personal decision.

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I know many people just come out and tell what went on but this to me anyway is extremely personal. Someone did approach me (at church of all places) and quite loudly said, "I heard you had weight loss surgery!" I just looked at her and said, "REALLY? Who told you that?" She kind of sputtered at that point and moved away saying she didn't want to break a confidence. I just looked at her with a smile and said that's as good as anything else I've heard. She was obviously guessing and trying to make me spill the Beans by saying it at church. I don't think most people will get into your business but some will and you have to be prepared for those people. One of the things I said when asked about my losing weight was, "well, you know I was in the hospital for a bit, after that "scare" I knew I had to lose weight and my Drs insisted that for my future health it was imperative. So I set my mind to it and I am doing it with my Drs supervision" Then you can go on to tell them your strict diet plan and that you weigh in every month at the Drs office. etc. Sometimes by the time you have talked their ear off on diet, exercise etc they are sorry they even asked. Yes, sometimes I feel like I'm lying but then again I don't feel badly lying to people who are gossip mongers, just nosy etc. I am doing something very personal and it's no one else business. Do what you have to do for YOU. No one else has a say so in what you do for YOU. It's just that personal. If you want to tell the world be my guest but if you choose to keep it your secret then it's up to you how you handle it.

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I didn't tell anyone until a week before surgery. Then I told my team of co workers (who are guys). They asked a few questions and after a few weeks it was a non-issue. I have also told some female co workers and I have received some ugly/ignorant comments from them. My experience is that the women have reacted negatively a lot more than the men have, which I find interesting. I don't regret telling people though. I didn't expect anything from them anyway I just share now if it comes up in conversation. I don't feel the need to make something up that isn't true. If they are judging me now, then when I was a bigger person, they were judging me then too. I am very comfortable and very happy with my decision. By being open, I hope that maybe my experience can help someone else.

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I was very proud of my decition for my gastric bypass surgery i told everyone and i was shock how everybody was supportive and no negative coments so dont be afraid telling ppl thats is nothing wrong with getting help to be helthy

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Gall bladder surgery will be my excuse

You Got This!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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