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Between a rock and a hard place



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So, I lost my job today. I'm already self pay, so insurance isn't the issue but the problem is that my surgery date isn't even set yet. I'm still waiting for the cardiologist to quit farting around (I mean approve the surgery).

How am I supposed to look for a job and have a major surgery looming ahead of me? I don't know what to do! I'm super morbidly obese. I'm sick half the time and I need the surgery, like yesterday! What am I supposed to tell my potential employers? "Yes! I am willing to work, but you'll have to excuse me from anywhere between 2-8 weeks to recover from MAJOR SURGERY!!!" Yeah, I can see that going over well.

I suffer from depression and social anxiety disorder, so it's near impossible to pull off the "I am confident and I have a great skill set" bs when I'm feeling the exact opposite. I'd rather crawl in a small, dark hole and stay there.

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Work needs to come first and asking for time off during an interview is going to make it very hard to get hired.

Get the surgery as soon as possible and then go job hunting when you are healed. Hopefully you will get unemployment and be able to tide yourself over.

Contact your cardiologist and surgeon and let them know they need to rush this.

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I am reentering the job force right now. I was on disability when I had my surgery and recovery.

I don't know your specific situation, but my advise is not to put off your job searching but be very realistic about what time you may need.

You can start working on your resume and applying for jobs and continue to work toward your surgery date.

You can think about start dates, etc when you get a job offer. Until then, it is all speculation.

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Do you have a therapist that can help you through this?

My, unprofessional opinion? For tonight----wallow in your tears. Cry, wale, rant, kick something---not the family pet!. Really, let it out tonight----have a good cry. I've always thought that I felt more "myself and in control" after I've let myself have the freedom to allow myself to just let go of my fears and tears.

THEN:

Until you find a job, your job IS LOOKING FOR A JOB. Spent as much time and effort looking for a job as you do actually working at a job.

If you're eligible of disability or unemployment, wonderful. If not, get busy.

You don't have your WLS date yet, so in the meantime, work at working.

I bet everything will fall into its proper place by the time your surgery date comes.

Post often, please and let us know all about your new job and your surgery date.

Rooting for you! :)

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It's very common for a job-hunter who has prior plans (or wants to do something before starting a new job) to discuss a reasonable postponement when a job is offered. People do it for vacation (and are truthful about it, but careful to say the arrangements had already been made) and other purposes which they usually refer to as "vacation" or something not so personal as WLS.

Or, if you don't need the security of having a new job to go to before having surgery, have surgery as soon as you "pass" and do the job-hunt thing around it.

My sympathies on losing your job.

Edited by WLSResources/ClothingExch

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Eight weeks is a long estimate. I had surgery on a Wednesday and was back in action (tired, but back) on Monday. I dragged a bit and half days helped, but I could do it.

Two weeks minus a few day and I was FINE. My eating was weird, but I could work.

Don't know how that would help you, but my work time perspective.

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My experience was like @@LipstickLady surgery Wednesday back in action Monday and fully functional two weeks out.

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My friend was laid off after going through all the requirements. She was only waiting for a surgery date and had already been approved. She had insurance so it was a little different.

But what she did that might help you is she just called them and explanned the situations. Given the situation they allowed her to go to the front of the line. Her surgery was scheduled for the next week. She also applied and began receiving unemployment.

As soon as she felt up to it after surgery she began searching for a job. The unemployment helped. WLS is the type of surgery that isn't readily visible from the outside so there was no need to disclose it. And although I was one of those who took the full six weeks off, I think the majority of people take 1-2 weeks as that's all the time off you're allowed. If necessary, I could have done the same. I was very tired, but that was the worst I felt.

My friend got the surgery and found a new job too.

I hope you find another job soon and are able to go through with the surgery. Please let us know and best of luck!

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Eight weeks is a long estimate. I had surgery on a Wednesday and was back in action (tired, but back) on Monday. I dragged a bit and half days helped, but I could do it.

Two weeks minus a few day and I was FINE. My eating was weird, but I could work.

Don't know how that would help you, but my work time perspective.

I noticed that some people only took a week to recover and others took up to 8 weeks to recover. Since I don't know how I will recover, I used those time frames. I'm a major wimp when it comes to fatigue and nausea.

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Thank you all for your encouragement. It really means a lot to me. <3

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I finally had my clearance from my cardiologist a few weeks ago. I then fell through the cracks at my surgeon's office because his normal scheduling coordinator is out on medical leave (she broke her leg). I called today and finally got my surgery date! November 15th!

As for the job front I will be lanching my art career very soon (working on new stuff). I gave it a lot of thought and I realize that just I don't do well with the typical 8-5 job with the managers and the supervisors and, well, people. Simply put, I'm not a people person. I shut down when there is conflict thanks to my social anxiety disorder. I will not be doing commissions. I've tried that before and hated it! I'll be selling giclees of my work on etsy.com and fineartamerica.com. My mom and my sister are just over the moon about the direction I am taking and wondered why I haven't started sooner!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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