Am I being too sensitive?

[Frenchie1977 262]

So my mom keeps acting like she knows everything about me having the sleeve because 8 years ago my dad had gastric bypass and she went through that with him. I keep trying to explain to her that they are not the same things. Her biggest negative comments are that I will still crave junk food and that I will be super depressed because I can't have said junk food, and she really cannot get it out of her head that I am not as likely to have dumping syndrome as my father was with his surgery.

I live with my parents so my mom just won't give it a rest the closer and closer I get to surgery. I finally told her that I don't want to talk to her at all about the surgery anymore because she is just upsetting me. Am I being over sensitive here? Should I let her continue or was I right to put my foot down?

[Dub 10,070]

You are always right to put your foot down in regards to your own health.

They really are two different surgeries with different capabilities afterwards.

So....what is her solution to the junk food issue ?

[Frenchie1977 262]

She doesn't really offer solutions lol she just offers all the negatives and keeps saying she just wants me to be prepared and she worries about how bad I'm going to feel

[nicugal36 53]

Everyone, including family will have their opinions and offer Their "advice" without being asked.

My mom had a lot of negative feelings about me having the sleeve, I finally told her that this is my body and my decision.. If she was unhappy about it then please vent to your friends about it and not me.. Keep it positive and keep your eye on the prize.. I literally was a junk food magnet before surgery.. Now, I could care less about candy and chips.

You can do this and you have this app to support you and cheer you on.

Best of luck

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Dub 10,070]

She doesn't really offer solutions lol she just offers all the negatives and keeps saying she just wants me to be prepared and she worries about how bad I'm going to feel

Gotcha.

Well.......there is a lot of stuff to consider pre-op.....a lot of speculation on which procedure....which surgeon......which way of eating to adopt.....etc.

Nothing wrong with getting lots of input in making your decision......up to a point. Once you've gleaned enough to make your choice then additional input does get aggravating....not matter the source.

It is good to have your father's prior experiences with wls, though. There will be a lot of his experience that you'll be able to relate to and perhaps adopt best practices that you observed from him.

[Frenchie1977 262]

Yes, although my father has done well with keeping the weight off, I have learned from him why it is so important to get all your Protein in and take all your Vitamins. He has never been good at these things and he struggles now with a constant lack of energy, always feeling weak, and just generally always wanting to sleep. But aside from that, there is not a whole lot for my mom to throw at me the way she has been trying to, she does it with my brother too, he had the lap band and she constantly tries to compare that to what my father did when they are not even remotely similar. Maybe it's just me and letting my mother get under my skin too much lol

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Should I let her continue or was I right to put my foot down?

Continue being negative? Continue trying to undermine you? Continue implying that she wants you obese?

You tell me.

Will you mother be the only obese member of the household after you lose weight?

[Frenchie1977 262]

Yes she technically is obese although not nearly as bad as my father and I she is considered obese by BMI standards

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@Frenchie1977, in that case, she doesn't want to be left behind. Your responsibility is to yourself, your health, your future. You are not a human sacrifice. She's got to learn to take care of herself.

[KristenLe 5,980]

@@Frenchie1977 You're not being too sensitive! Sounds like your Mom is a pain in the butt (many are! LOL). I'm not sure how you're going to make out dealing with her comments post-op though - that's going to be rough! She'll be watching everything you put in your mouth (or don't). I can't imagine going through this under my mother's nose. Good luck!

[Frenchie1977 262]

@@KristenLe thanks for the response, I think it will be ok, we eat different foods already and shop separately from each other mostly already, so if she starts to grind on my nerves about what I'm eating I can just tell her to leave me alone lol, it's not like I eat her cooking.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

So my mom keeps acting like she knows everything about me having the sleeve because 8 years ago my dad had gastric bypass and she went through that with him. I keep trying to explain to her that they are not the same things. Her biggest negative comments are that I will still crave junk food and that I will be super depressed because I can't have said junk food, and she really cannot get it out of her head that I am not as likely to have dumping syndrome as my father was with his surgery.

I live with my parents so my mom just won't give it a rest the closer and closer I get to surgery. I finally told her that I don't want to talk to her at all about the surgery anymore because she is just upsetting me. Am I being over sensitive here? Should I let her continue or was I right to put my foot down?

Not everyone has the same experience post-op, and from what I can tell, a lot has changed in the last few years. Maybe you could invite your mom to attend some of the pre-op nutrition classes or support group meetings with you as a refresher.