What am I about to do to myself?

[TheRev 235]

I know most of you have asked yourself this question, but everything is quickly becoming very, very real for me and to be very honest, I'm terrified.

I've been working towards my surgery date for over a year. Yeah, an entire year. My original surgeon's office staff screwed up my paperwork and insurance denied me. When my insurance said they could get the approval done but they needed a 20 minute conversation with my surgeon, he refused and left me dead in the Water (this was after SEVEN MONTHS). It had been a massive roller coaster of emotions ... ok, mainly it was just on long endless climb from frustration to anger to rage - sweet, sweet rage.

Cigna, while denying me also said that I should go talk to another surgeon and they could get me taken care of if I satisfied all the conditions again (instead of waiting until the middle of 2017). I've done that, gotten my approval, I've quit smoking, quit drinking, dropped about 40 pounds prior to surgery, and today is Day 1 of my liver shrinking diet.

And now that everything is within site, after a year of struggle, disappointments, a small bit of pride in my current loss and changes to my lifestyle, I'm now scared out of my mind that I may be making a huge mistake and if I just keep plugging along I'll eventually drop the almost 200 pounds of excess weight (even though I know I'm fooling myself there). I'm 380lbs and 40 years old... time ain't on my side, but still... I'm flailing.

[kmorri 1,689]

Hang in there! What you're feeling now is normal and I think most of us have been where you are.....I can tell you for me, this has been the best decision I've ever made! I haven't had any issues and feel completely normal I just eat less....My surgery was on May 16th.

[TheRev 235]

Thanks! I KNOW that I will come through this and be a better, healthier person. I KNOW that I need an irreversible tool to help me make lasting changes. I know all these things, but sometimes remembering it and embracing it without the emotional baggage is tough, you know?

[kmorri 1,689]

Yes I know exactly what you mean! Just stay focused and keep your eye on the prize!! Good luck to you!

[Dr-Patient 830]

Hard fact: If you're like most of us, and have the repeated history of "I can do this weight loss thing"...you likely won't lose the >200 pounds on your own, but will keep struggling and failing. Just sayin', cuz we've all been there.

If you follow through with the surgery, you will be opening the door to a healthier, happier, sexier, more confident, more professional you. Walking in the fullness of the man you can be, should be and will be! Get ready for a happier you.

My VSG was the BEST decision I ever made for myself; I just wish I'd done it sooner! Hallelujah!!

[OKCPirate 5,323]

The only one's not nervous are the one's who are not doing it right. This is permanent body modification, not to be taken lightly. After years (ok, decades...ok a lifetime) of struggle with up and down weight I chose this path as a reset button. While it is theoretically possible to keep the weight off via behavior modification, the odds are against it (8% success rate). The odds are much greater with the WLS. Look at the cost of being overweight (health, relationships, wealth et.al.) and factor that in to your decision.

[Dr-Patient 830]

You can do it!!!! Anxiety is normal, but don't block your blessings. Get out of your own way. Take a breath. Say a prayer (or a few) and walk through the door of wls. It's the tool that can help give you the life you want.

[beezy8 41]

I had my surgery at the ashe of 70, last December, after struggling to lose weight for over 30 years. I was a little nervous and frustrated with the insurance company, but everything has ended well.

Congratulations on sticking with the fight. You will be so glad you did! I am!

[TheRev 235]

Thanks, all! Positive words and vibes are deeply appreciated. I weighed myself on Friday night and I was 383 - Saturday and Sunday I said goodbye to pints of beer and terrible food. I started my liquid diet 2 days early (my fiancee is having revision - band to sleeve - surgery a week before my sleeve, so I wanted to be supportive earlier ha!) on Monday and I'm down about 9.5 pounds already. So, seeing that kind of progress and knowing that it'll be easier in some respects when I'm not AS hungry really helps, too.

[Dub 9,922]

It will be something you're going to get a great deal of relief from.

Wish I'd done this years ago.

[HillaryA 64]

I had second thoughts (panic attacks, really) up to when I was in the hospital gown waiting to be taken into the OR. I kept reassuring myself that this was going to be the best thing for me and reminding myself of why I was getting it - 460 pounds and 36 years old and not getting any younger... And it really was the best decision I ever made.

I was petrified to give up my one comfort in life and thought I'd never be able to eat normally again. The reality is that I enjoy food and eating more now than I ever did before - it was always about stuffing my face as fast as possible and then wondering what I could eat next. I don't miss all the junk, I really don't. My health and quality of life has improved beyond measure.

The 2 week pre-op diet was really hard, but after about 3 days I settled into an apathetic acceptance and after the first week I actually was happy that I was doing it because it showed me that I could actually go without food if I had to - losing 25+ lbs in that two weeks helped, too.

You've got this. Good luck!

[heather82216 2]

Hang in there, I just had surgery but do not have any regrets so far.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[TheRev 235]

Update: I've settled in and reached a pretty good place where I'm just ready to go and get the hacksaw to my gut.

I've lost ~20lbs on the liquid diet and my jeans already feel loose (since I've started this whole thing I've dropped 4 notches on my belt over the past year, so there's that!).

It's Sunday morning and I go in Wednesday. Just a few more days!

[blizair09 3,250]

Update: I've settled in and reached a pretty good place where I'm just ready to go and get the hacksaw to my gut.

I've lost ~20lbs on the liquid diet and my jeans already feel loose (since I've started this whole thing I've dropped 4 notches on my belt over the past year, so there's that!).

It's Sunday morning and I go in Wednesday. Just a few more days!

You and I are almost identical -- same age, similar height and starting weight, so I completely understand your journey and how you are feeling about it. It sounds like you are off to a great start, and I look forward to hearing more about your progress.

My surgery is September 28 -- two weeks from Wednesday. Sometimes, I'm scared to death; other times, I wish it was tomorrow to get this part of the show on the road.

Best wishes to you!

[NewAdventure2016 131]

If you plug on perfectly you probably can lose it on your own but the stats I've learned since starting this journey are 1) none of us can be as perfect at it as it would take 2) Even those that do lose all of it, only 5% can keep it off and 3) with WLS, the stats of keeping it off are upwards (and higher of 80% of keeping it off.

That's enough for me! I'm happy I did it and I'm working hard now to make my goals. No, this is not the easy way out but it's a tool I didn't have before to be successful! Go for it!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App