Scared

[overweight.and.tired 1]

Hi. This is my first post. I had my consult with my doc 8/1. Have most of my other appointments scheduled already. My insurance doesn't require a waiting period just a BMI over 35. I'm 5'4 and weigh 304. I'm still unsure if I want to have the surgery. The risks make me nervous but i desire so badly to be healthy and thin.

My hubby is so very supportive but all other family members are not supportive and don't want me to have the surgery.

Not sure what I should do. I'm looking for some kind advice

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[leonelbreton 261]

Don't feel scared, do whatever you want to do, your heart is your guide, for me was the best the desicion I've ever made in my life. Good luck. And trust in you no and anyone else. Best of luck.

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[suebee411 3]

Hi! I was scared as well. Terrified. It took me 3 years to finally do it, I had to pay for all the tests twice because I chickened out the first time and too much time had passed when I finally went back to the surgeon. (I'm self-pay and I had to refinance to get the money)

I told the psychiatrist I went to for surgery clearance that I was very scared. She said..."I'd be worried if you weren't scared. I can see that you know this will be not be easy, that it's not a magic pill, and that there may be pain and complications. For me, that makes you the best candidate for surgery."

My friends were supportive, but my mother basically told me she thought it was a waste of my money because she's known many people that had it and didn't succeed. Thanks mom!!

In the end, I asked myself...will I regret it if I don't do it? ( I was 325 on the surgery day). I don't care about being thin, I just want less pain and more mobility and more fun. I want to be able to travel, bike, hike...

I hope that helps. Good luck!

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@overweight.and.tired

At your height and weight you will probably never be able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off. The odds are just against you. Surgery is the best option for you.

If you don't have the support of people around you that will make your recovery harder and it will make long term success harder.

Getting at least the people in your house on board is the best thing for long term success, if you can. If not worry about your own health. You are the only person that has to live in your body, no one else.

[SassyNanny 311]

I weighed 324 at 5'4" 9 months ago. Today I'm 236, down 98 pounds. Blood Work is all normal. No problems, no regrets. Another 62 pounds to go. I'm 65. Be brave. It's worth it.

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[Bufflehead 6,358]

The risks of surgery make you nervous, which is understandable. But you have to know that the risks of morbid obesity are much, much higher than the risks of surgery. Surgery has risks, but it also has potential rewards. Staying morbidly obese has no rewards, and the risks of early death and severe health problems are massive. Your family will likely come around once they see you on the mend from surgery and getting slimmer, happier, and healthier. They love you, and that's what they want for you, they just don't understand yet that surgery is pretty much the only option you have to get it.

[overweight.and.tired 1]

Thanks for all of your replies. I do appreciate it

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[KristenLe 5,980]

Hi. This is my first post. I had my consult with my doc 8/1. Have most of my other appointments scheduled already. My insurance doesn't require a waiting period just a BMI over 35. I'm 5'4 and weigh 304. I'm still unsure if I want to have the surgery. The risks make me nervous but i desire so badly to be healthy and thin.

My hubby is so very supportive but all other family members are not supportive and don't want me to have the surgery.

Not sure what I should do. I'm looking for some kind advice

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Your weight is at a dangerous level. Unfortunately, it's very unlikely you will be able to lose weight on your own. Only 5% who do lose weight on their own keep it off. Not good stats!

Try writing a list of all the things you want to do after weight loss (ride a rollercoaster, wear a sexy dress, play with your children/grandchildren, better sex, fit into a great pair of jeans, kayaking, skiing, being around to see a child marry, etc) and frequently review it to remind you of why you're having surgery.

Therapy is also a good idea pre-op and post-op! Good luck! Stay strong!

[determined1LD 19]

@@overweight.and.tired

At your height and weight you will probably never be able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off. The odds are just against you. Surgery is the best option for you.

If you don't have the support of people around you that will make your recovery harder and it will make long term success harder.

Getting at least the people in your house on board is the best thing for long term success, if you can. If not worry about your own health. You are the only person that has to live in your body, no one else.

I wouldn't go as far as say the word never to anyone! Just know there are support groups that you can go to that you find support. That's what I have to do. I don't have much support either. Even a sister who had the surgery herself is not supportive of me. So I have to find support elsewhere and that's ok. I was scared to. I waited 3 years myself now I'm on a journey all my appointments are almost scheduled

determined1LD

[cindyw41 761]

One thing that I've learned through this process is that the people who are against WLS are not informed and base their disapproval on what they've heard and not the facts.

Listen to your Self. You have the support of the only one that matters on the grand scheme of things. Let him be your rock.

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@overweight.and.tired

At your height and weight you will probably never be able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off. The odds are just against you. Surgery is the best option for you.

If you don't have the support of people around you that will make your recovery harder and it will make long term success harder.

Getting at least the people in your house on board is the best thing for long term success, if you can. If not worry about your own health. You are the only person that has to live in your body, no one else.

I wouldn't go as far as say the word never to anyone! Just know there are support groups that you can go to that you find support. That's what I have to do. I don't have much support either. Even a sister who had the surgery herself is not supportive of me. So I have to find support elsewhere and that's ok. I was scared to. I waited 3 years myself now I'm on a journey all my appointments are almost scheduled

determined1LD

That is why I said probably before never, qualifying words matter, and so does reading comprehension.

And statistically, someone that morbidly obese has less than a 5% chance of losing weight on their own and keeping it off.

[determined1LD 19]

@@overweight.and.tired

At your height and weight you will probably never be able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off. The odds are just against you. Surgery is the best option for you.

If you don't have the support of people around you that will make your recovery harder and it will make long term success harder.

Getting at least the people in your house on board is the best thing for long term success, if you can. If not worry about your own health. You are the only person that has to live in your body, no one else.

I wouldn't go as far as say the word never to anyone! Just know there are support groups that you can go to that you find support. That's what I have to do. I don't have much support either. Even a sister who had the surgery herself is not supportive of me. So I have to find support elsewhere and that's ok. I was scared to. I waited 3 years myself now I'm on a journey all my appointments are almost scheduled

determined1LD

That is why I said probably before never, qualifying words matter, and so does reading comprehension.

And statistically, someone that morbidly obese has less than a 5% chance of losing weight on their own and keeping it off.

I just think being rude to me and mean to her in inappropriate. This supposed to uplifting and supportive saying things like that is uncalled for.

determined1LD

[KristenLe 5,980]

@@determined1LD There's absolutely nothing mean in @@OutsideMatchInside post to the OP.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@overweight.and.tired

At your height and weight you will probably never be able to lose the weight on your own and keep it off. The odds are just against you. Surgery is the best option for you.

If you don't have the support of people around you that will make your recovery harder and it will make long term success harder.

Getting at least the people in your house on board is the best thing for long term success, if you can. If not worry about your own health. You are the only person that has to live in your body, no one else.

I wouldn't go as far as say the word never to anyone! Just know there are support groups that you can go to that you find support. That's what I have to do. I don't have much support either. Even a sister who had the surgery herself is not supportive of me. So I have to find support elsewhere and that's ok. I was scared to. I waited 3 years myself now I'm on a journey all my appointments are almost scheduled

determined1LD

That is why I said probably before never, qualifying words matter, and so does reading comprehension.

And statistically, someone that morbidly obese has less than a 5% chance of losing weight on their own and keeping it off.

I just think being rude to me and mean to her in inappropriate. This supposed to uplifting and supportive saying things like that is uncalled for.

determined1LD

First I am not being mean to OP. Surgery is the best option for OP, and a lot of other people. I wasted years of my life going back and forth about surgery, gaining and losing weight. I am not quoting statistics to be mean or doom someone, FACTS ARE FACTS. I am encouraging OP to peruse surgery because that is going to give her the best long term outcome.

It is basically impossible to lose weight and keep it off on your own, especially once you get over 300 pounds. Ask a Dr or Google. Your body will defend that weight and fight against you at every turn, the hormonal and set point change created by surgery forces your body to let go of that weight. The only people saying different are people trying to sell snake oil.

As far as what I said to you, if you are going to try and correct someone, then be correct in the first place. Don't try to take me to task when you are just flat out wrong, then get mad when I clap back that you are wrong. I said "probably never" because yeah there is a chance that OP can lose the weight on her own, but that chance is very slim. Thus the reason I used probably because the probability is very low.

Edited August 19, 2016 by OutsideMatchInside

[melbell2222 244]

I would do it anyway not everyone agrees with what anyone does! But when your out there living life they will be so ashamed they were wrong and trying to hold you back

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