33 and been through this twice

[Holly5683 2]

I'm 33. I had my initial RNY at 22. I lost 150 pounds. I started at 375. And then I found out the day after my surgery my doctor was out of business because he lost his medical insurance. I followed up with another doctor after and found my pouch was too big.

I was devastated to say the least. Over the last 10 years I went almost back to my original weight. I had a revision at 350 done in April of 2015. I've lost 100-ish pounds since then.

But now I'm stuck again. I live in Dallas, TX. Been through a divorce right before my revision. I'm engaged but I feel bad for my fiancé. He tries so hard not to show that my weight bothers him. He loves me unconditionally but I want to be the girl he deserves.

Starting Monday I'm doing a 10 day pouch reset diet. Has anyone done one of these before. As for exercise I'm getting back into 1 hour a day on the wii fit and my Apple Watch say I burn around 400 calories in the hour.

All in all I'm 250 I was to lose another 100 pounds to be not only a better looking girl for my soon to be husband. But also happier and healthier for myself. Any tips or advice are welcome from all. Looking forward to getting the help and support I didn't get the first time.

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[HopeandAgony 566]

Hi there! That's a rough one. One thing that strikes a cord with me is that twice you focus on what you want to do for your fiance. Please make this about you, your health, your well being. He deserves you, as a person, NOT as a specific body. Please believe that. Focus on you, the rest will fall into line after that. Hugs.

[James Marusek 5,244]

There are two phases to weight loss surgery. These are the Weight Loss phase and the Maintenance phase. This is my impression of the Maintenance phase. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery2.pdf

[KristenLe 5,980]

@@Holly5683 Have you considered therapy with someone who specializes in bariatrics/eating disorders? It seems as though that may help.

You mention you are stuck. What are you eating? Are you focusing on Protein? Getting enough fluids?

[KristenLe 5,980]

I agree that you need to be doing this for yourself and not to "please" anyone else.

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@Holly5683

HI There!

I am truly sorry to hear about your struggles. I might suggest you are experiencing what happens when you bounce between following the plan and going back to the way you ate and exercised before your surgeries?

I do think the pouch test and following your Bariatric diet can get you back on track to losing again.

I would suggest talking to a therapis to find out why you tend to stop at a certain point and get very clear on why you are doing it in the first place.

This is just my opinion but for me, I became very very selfish for the first time in my life knowing that it would help my family down the road. My whole life I took care of everyone else's needs. I was the breadwinner in a stressful job, I took care of my ailing mother, my children, and my husband long before I took care of myself. The stress of all of that led me to put on weight, then take it off, then put it back on until finally I could not lose a single lb. then the medical issues began and it only got worse and worse until I realized that I would not be here until I was elderly if I didn't do something for my self.

I became very selfish with the support of my family because they saw how sick I was becoming. I could barely function in my high paying job anymore because of the stress and the weight I carried.

I took a package, had surgery 6 months later and here I am. 158lbs and very healthy for the first time in my life.

When I say a complete lifestyle change, that is what it took for me.

You have to figure out what it will take to make this more permanent for you instead of another way to yo you diet. You are young but the older you get, your ability to do so will become a problem and you have already gone the surgery way. It's time to better understand what drives you to go off plan.

Once you do that you will be healthier for you and your fiancé.

[Mudgy6 88]

Just please yourself. It doesn't make a difference what anyone else thinks. One day at a time

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