Am I doing the right thing?!

[kerryberry16 10]

Since being approved for surgery I've started to have doubts! Doubting everything from do I really need this? Am I taking the easy option? Will it fail like everything else I've tried! I feel like I've been eating badly since the news also almost like I'm eating all my favourite things for the last time! I don't really over eat as much as eat the wrong things! I often eat based on head hunger rather than actual hunger! I'm going to seek out a therapist because I still have about 4-5 months before my actual surgery is likely to happen. I will discuss with them my eating habits & try to deal with them before the actual surgery! I'm 5 ft 2 with a weight of 273lbs & multiple health problems including fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis that has totally left me immobile! Am I making the right choice? Should I be having surgery? I know it won't fix my head hunger BUT with the RNY I'm relying on dumping syndrome to put me off all my fav foods! Is this wrong to rely on it in this way?? So lost right now.

Chronically ill, yet still chronically smiling!

[James Marusek 5,244]

It is common to have doubts prior to surgery. I primarily had surgery because my obesity was affecting my health. I developed diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and severe acid reflux (GERD). Within days after my RNY surgery, all those conditions went into remission. So for me it was the right choice. I do not know if the surgery will have a positive effect on your conditions (fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis). Others who have these conditions might chime in and let you know their thoughts.

[kerryberry16 10]

It is common to have doubts prior to surgery. I primarily had surgery because my obesity was affecting my health. I developed diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, and severe acid reflux (GERD). Within days after my RNY surgery, all those conditions went into remission. So for me it was the right choice. I do not know if the surgery will have a positive effect on your conditions (fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis). Others who have these conditions might chime in and let you know their thoughts.

Thanks for your response! I also have Obstructive sleep apnoea & use a CPAP, I'm borderline diabetic, have PCOS & GERD which I hope will all be significantly improved by the surgery. As for my other conditions I'm hoping even just for some relief.. If it's doesn't improve them massive amounts I'm ok with that because I'm used to being in pain all the time (if that even makes sense)

Im really happy all your issues cleared up that's a massive bonus. I wish you all the best with the rest of your journey.

Chronically ill, yet still chronically smiling!

[Cervidae 2,389]

I have PCOS as well (pretty severely) and my symptoms have greatly reduced since having surgery. I started near 400 pounds on the day of surgery and I'll be one year post-op in ten days. I've been enormously successful and have lost about 170 pounds since surgery day. I remember in the beginning the only real doubts I had were about whether I could follow the diet forever, whether I would sabotage myself, if I could remake my habits into healthy ones by myself, etc. Now that I have some perspective almost a year later, I can say that I would do this a thousand times over again, exactly the same way, if I had to. But I would also always pair it with therapy. I firmly believe every person who undergoes or wants to undergo this surgery should be seeing a therapist. No exceptions. Even if you are one of the VERY rare people who don't have a food addiction, the amount and intensity of the huge life changes that come with surgery are not to be taken lightly. Changing so many things about your everyday life is no easy feat, but it is incredibly rewarding in the end. Becoming an entirely different person in the span of a few months to a year? You NEED to talk to someone during this time. I firmly believe that the monthly support groups I attend, frequenting this website to talk to people about the crazy weird changes that are happening/have happened, and seeing my therapist regularly are all vitally important to my success, and I would probably not be doing as well if I hadn't kept up with it. The accountability alone really makes a big difference.

Good luck to you! It seems that you already know what you need and have tried all other options over and over with limited results. If you do this right and stay healthy and accountable, this whole process can be simply amazing. I can't count the ways my life has changed for the better since beginning this journey, and I truly would do it all over and over again if I needed to. My final piece of advice would be to write down all the reasons you know this is the right thing for you, and read that list whenever you're faltering or unsure. Always remember your real eventual goal: being healthy. Nothing else really matters and anything is worth doing to be healthy. My inbox is always open if you ever need someone to talk to!

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@kerryberry16

Hi there! I just want to say that it is perfectly normal to have these doubts once you are set to have surgery. After all, it is a big one that will require a lot from you.

I am 53, I was 310lbs at 5'10" when I had RNY. I had type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, severe gerd, sleep apnea, anemia, stage 3 kidney disease. It was the kidney disease that came from years of obesity that was the straw for me. A lot of these illnesses came on fast and when one came the other was right around the corner.

My nephrologist (kidney specialist) is the one who suggested I consider WLS. He made sure that i understood that window was very small given my declining kidney function. If I got to a point where I was too sick, they would not operate.

It took 9 months to get through the 6 month process from start to finish and by the time I got there I was so ready to have this done that if anything delayed it I became emotional. I just knew that having bypass was going to help me get control of my weight which in turn would Help me become healthier. That was what it was all about for me.

Well I had my surgery nearly 2 years ago. Within 3 months ALL of my comorbitities were in remission including my kidney function. I was able to stop taking 8 prescriptions for things I simply did not suffer from.

This surgery literally gave me back my life.

That being said, it is NOT easy in any way, shape or form. Most bypass patients DO NOT get dumping syndrome. I believe the number is only about 30% and it usually stops after the first year or so. Some suffer with it longer. I tell you this mostly so that you know, you will likely not have it.

Those that do get it really wish they didn't.

The surgery really helps you control quantity of food at any one given time. You have to make the changes to your diet to put the right things in there the right amount of times per day.

Now is the time to begin to make lots of changes. Many of us had food funerals, it is only natural to want to try the things that you think you will never have again. The reality is, you will be able to enjoy most foods just in smaller quantities. Don't let that fear change where you are headed.

I am one of those people that waited way too long to have this surgery and nearly killed myself in the process. It caused me to develop severe osteoarthritis of the spine, shoulders and knees. Over the last 14 years I have had 6 back surgeries with 2 of them being after bypass. I also had to have my left shoulder rebuilt because of bone on bone arthritis. I am literally disabled because I allowed myself to continue down a deadly path with obesity.

RNY is the best thing that ever happened to me and if I had to do it over again, I would do it 10 to 15 years sooner before all the damage to my body.

Even with such severe osteoarthritis, I feel fantastic!!! Every single day is like a new birthday for me because I am not sick. I LOVE food. Its just a different food that I now crave. I was a sugarholic! After RNY your tastes really do change and you learn to love good quality Protein, good carbs like fruits and veggies. Yes, I do eat sweets now and then but I have learned to control myself. My nut taught me to believe everything in moderation and to eat a balance meal.

After losing the first 50lbs, my activity level increased. My feet no longer hurt, my ankles and knees both improved dramatically. I was able to get up and down stairs without keeling over from lack of oxygen. LOL.

Don't let your fears stop you from doing what you need to do to get healthy. You started this process for a reason, stay focused on that reason.

Less than 5% of people are successful losing this kind of weight on their own and keeping it off long term. That is the key, keeping it off.

Maintenance is hard work and you always worry about regain. The good news is, once you have RNY the tool is always there for you. You just need to build good eating habits. 90% of your weight loss will come from diet.

I wish you the best of luck with this and I hope that you are able to get to a place where you are content with your decision.

[KristenLe 5,980]

@@kerryberry16 I have similar stats as you. I went through counseling to deal with emotional eating and I think it was helpful (I'll know post-op i guess). I can't do this on my own - and I need to do something! My health just gets worse. I really think therapy will help you. Good luck.

[kerryberry16 10]

I have PCOS as well (pretty severely) and my symptoms have greatly reduced since having surgery. I started near 400 pounds on the day of surgery and I'll be one year post-op in ten days. I've been enormously successful and have lost about 170 pounds since surgery day. I remember in the beginning the only real doubts I had were about whether I could follow the diet forever, whether I would sabotage myself, if I could remake my habits into healthy ones by myself, etc. Now that I have some perspective almost a year later, I can say that I would do this a thousand times over again, exactly the same way, if I had to. But I would also always pair it with therapy. I firmly believe every person who undergoes or wants to undergo this surgery should be seeing a therapist. No exceptions. Even if you are one of the VERY rare people who don't have a food addiction, the amount and intensity of the huge life changes that come with surgery are not to be taken lightly. Changing so many things about your everyday life is no easy feat, but it is incredibly rewarding in the end. Becoming an entirely different person in the span of a few months to a year? You NEED to talk to someone during this time. I firmly believe that the monthly support groups I attend, frequenting this website to talk to people about the crazy weird changes that are happening/have happened, and seeing my therapist regularly are all vitally important to my success, and I would probably not be doing as well if I hadn't kept up with it. The accountability alone really makes a big difference.

Good luck to you! It seems that you already know what you need and have tried all other options over and over with limited results. If you do this right and stay healthy and accountable, this whole process can be simply amazing. I can't count the ways my life has changed for the better since beginning this journey, and I truly would do it all over and over again if I needed to. My final piece of advice would be to write down all the reasons you know this is the right thing for you, and read that list whenever you're faltering or unsure. Always remember your real eventual goal: being healthy. Nothing else really matters and anything is worth doing to be healthy. My inbox is always open if you ever need someone to talk to!

Thank you so much for such an honest, helpful & inspiring response! It's crazy how a few words of wisdom can go such a long way. The doubts you were having are the doubt I'm having now & it's so nice to know that somebody was in my shoes & walked the path ahead of me successfully. Massive congratulations to you on your success you've done absolutely amazing & I hope your really proud of how far you've come.

Your advice confirms my thoughts so thank you for that. I still have some months ahead of me to get as much emotional support as possible in place for the time before, during & most importantly after the surgery. I have booked a doctors visit on Friday to discuss therapy with her & enquired about a local support group so hopefully I'll have it all in place in plenty of time for surgery day.

I will write down tomorrow a list of my reasons but the fact that I want children & to be able to have fertility treatment is enough in itself so when I'm doubting myself I need to remember what it's all for. I want to be a mother & a healthy one at that. Thank you for giving me some perspective again. I really, really appreciate it. Kerry

Chronically ill, yet still chronically smiling!

[kerryberry16 10]

@@kerryberry16

Hi there! I just want to say that it is perfectly normal to have these doubts once you are set to have surgery. After all, it is a big one that will require a lot from you.

I am 53, I was 310lbs at 5'10" when I had RNY. I had type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, severe gerd, sleep apnea, anemia, stage 3 kidney disease. It was the kidney disease that came from years of obesity that was the straw for me. A lot of these illnesses came on fast and when one came the other was right around the corner.

My nephrologist (kidney specialist) is the one who suggested I consider WLS. He made sure that i understood that window was very small given my declining kidney function. If I got to a point where I was too sick, they would not operate.

It took 9 months to get through the 6 month process from start to finish and by the time I got there I was so ready to have this done that if anything delayed it I became emotional. I just knew that having bypass was going to help me get control of my weight which in turn would Help me become healthier. That was what it was all about for me.

Well I had my surgery nearly 2 years ago. Within 3 months ALL of my comorbitities were in remission including my kidney function. I was able to stop taking 8 prescriptions for things I simply did not suffer from.

This surgery literally gave me back my life.

That being said, it is NOT easy in any way, shape or form. Most bypass patients DO NOT get dumping syndrome. I believe the number is only about 30% and it usually stops after the first year or so. Some suffer with it longer. I tell you this mostly so that you know, you will likely not have it.

Those that do get it really wish they didn't.

The surgery really helps you control quantity of food at any one given time. You have to make the changes to your diet to put the right things in there the right amount of times per day.

Now is the time to begin to make lots of changes. Many of us had food funerals, it is only natural to want to try the things that you think you will never have again. The reality is, you will be able to enjoy most foods just in smaller quantities. Don't let that fear change where you are headed.

I am one of those people that waited way too long to have this surgery and nearly killed myself in the process. It caused me to develop severe osteoarthritis of the spine, shoulders and knees. Over the last 14 years I have had 6 back surgeries with 2 of them being after bypass. I also had to have my left shoulder rebuilt because of bone on bone arthritis. I am literally disabled because I allowed myself to continue down a deadly path with obesity.

RNY is the best thing that ever happened to me and if I had to do it over again, I would do it 10 to 15 years sooner before all the damage to my body.

Even with such severe osteoarthritis, I feel fantastic!!! Every single day is like a new birthday for me because I am not sick. I LOVE food. Its just a different food that I now crave. I was a sugarholic! After RNY your tastes really do change and you learn to love good quality Protein, good carbs like fruits and veggies. Yes, I do eat sweets now and then but I have learned to control myself. My nut taught me to believe everything in moderation and to eat a balance meal.

After losing the first 50lbs, my activity level increased. My feet no longer hurt, my ankles and knees both improved dramatically. I was able to get up and down stairs without keeling over from lack of oxygen. LOL.

Don't let your fears stop you from doing what you need to do to get healthy. You started this process for a reason, stay focused on that reason.

Less than 5% of people are successful losing this kind of weight on their own and keeping it off long term. That is the key, keeping it off.

Maintenance is hard work and you always worry about regain. The good news is, once you have RNY the tool is always there for you. You just need to build good eating habits. 90% of your weight loss will come from diet.

I wish you the best of luck with this and I hope that you are able to get to a place where you are content with your decision.

Wow you really have been through it & cam out the other side haven't you! Congratulations on everything you've achieved since your surgery & I'm really happy that you choose to go ahead because it seems like it was extremely important for you.

I am pretty much stuck in my own bubble now being unable to walk & needing carers to help me with basic tasks because everything has become so difficult! If it turns out that I only really have the osteoarthritis to deal with then I'll be happy too! I am like you were I love sugary crap! It's not really overeating that's a huge problem but what I eat & maybe my evening meal portion size. It's funny really because my Dieticien did tell me I'll still be able to eat pretty much everything but I didn't believe her LOL! Coming from somebody who is experiencing life after RNY I'm much more inclined to listen!

Thank you for all the info & for sharing so much with me. Hearing from people like yourself really helps me mentally & reinforces in my mind that this is right for me!

Chronically ill, yet still chronically smiling!

[kerryberry16 10]

@@kerryberry16 I have similar stats as you. I went through counseling to deal with emotional eating and I think it was helpful (I'll know post-op i guess). I can't do this on my own - and I need to do something! My health just gets worse. I really think therapy will help you. Good luck.

Hey & thank you for your response! I really hope it has helped you & you have every success with the surgery. I will definitely get some councilling In place before my surgery. I think it really will make all the difference for me. I wish you loads of luck!

Chronically ill, yet still chronically smiling!