So... I'm havin major anxiety about this... Sorry I wrote TOO much!

[FingersCrossed18 19]

I'm new, I just joined like, 5 minutes ago because I need to hear from some people who know first hand what I'm thinking or can just "get it."

I'm also not sure if I'm even posting in the right spot or even posting correctly at all?

I'll start by saying I'll be 24 in December, I'm married to my amazing pilipino (I know it's an "f") and the whole reason I'm wanting this surgery is kids! Haha, straight to the point.

I was diagnosed with PCOS and insulin Resistance at 13. I started showing symptoms when I was 6 and nobody knew what was going on, nobody knew as much as they do about PCOS and IR as now, leading me to this: I thought I was going to be stuck with taking Metformin and Aldactone my entire life. I've been taking it all this time, anyway. I've had 3 miscarriages, so now I'm on BC until December, when I'll get off, at that time I'll do Clomid and try again. UNTIL...

My mothers very close family friend is the owner of a company that helps get grants for candidates for this surgery, not sure if there's more than one but still, I'm not saying a name (Not that she would care)

She called to check in and said somebody close to her had a baby-she had PCOS- and the surgery had literally "cured" her PCOS and Insulin Resistance and a lot of other people they've gotten grants for. Like wooooooow. That blew my mind, I'm waiting to talk to her for more, for now I have this wonderful place. Everything I knew about my future could be changed by this and I'm freaking out. I was researching all this good stuff the day I found out.. Yesterday and I was like dude, hell yes I'm doing this! No regrets ( YOLO, really). But today I was finding out more about the diet and everything; which leads me to this:

I'm not addicted to food. I don't go to food for comfort when I'm sad or even happy. I probably don't eat enough honestly. I love Water, I love chugging water and I love working out and chugging water. I was reading stories and videos about how so many people get dehydrated! That scares me so much. The whole process of eating a quarter of a meal makes me feel uneasy, I know it's psychological, it also sounds like I wont get nutrition (I know you need to take Vitamins, I do now anyway). Eating so so so so slow sounds like it will be weird and ultimately not like myself in a way, you know? Like changing ALL these little things will change who I am. I know that's ridiculous but I can't change that thought no matter how hard I try.

I've been bigger my ENTIRE life. I lost weight months before I met my husband from running 2 hours every night, literally around 2 in the morning, I just stared college with late classes and it was a way to occupy my time I guess. At the time but I was still curvy but healthier. I've gained weight back and it WON'T go. I run for an hour 4 days a week a few months now.

I don't know if I'll feel like ME, I look in the mirror and I'm like eh, I'm overweight but I'm okay with that in a way, I'm me? You know? I know I'm not defined by my weight but it's still apart of me in a way. I don't want to do this for the way I look (mainly) I don't think I'm scared to be thin, I'm scared to not be ME. I want to do it for my health and even though it hurts a lot and it's like UUUGH, I'll postpone having baby a couple years to have a healthy pregnancy, no gestational diabetes and a healthy baby is the only thing I want, I'm not selfish in that matter, I could do clomid now but I'm not healthy yet so I passed.

So those two fears are taking over my brain. I haven't even talked to a surgeon yet, but I have an appt with my PCOS specialist early September I'll bring it up then.

Are my fears normal? Rational? Or am I alone in this and a friggin' baby.

If you read this whole thing you're amazing and I can't thank you enough. And I'm sorry I wrote too much, I have tendencies to overshare.. a LOT.

[JamieLogical 8,684]

A couple of things. The issues with not being able to chug Water and having to eat very slowly are only a factor in the early months post-op, as you are still healing. I am now almost 2 years post-op and chug Water all the time. I also eat most of my meals in under 10 minutes. I am training for a full marathon in September and ran a half marathon back in April. I burn a LOT of calories from all of my training, but I AM able to eat them back. My weight has stabilized and I am no longer losing, despite all of my intense exercise.

There will be a period of 3-4 months where drinking is hard (especially in the first couple of weeks), you have to move through the food stages gradually, you have to eat very slowly, and you can only eat a couple of bites of food in one sitting. But that is temporary. I still have restriction and can't eat NEARLY as much as I used to at one time, but I do eat normal foods (Protein first!). I eat out all the time. I drink TONS of water. People wouldn't know I had surgery unless I told them.

[Chicken Lady 102]

Im 1 week sleeved. I used to chug Water & exercise a lot too (with no real weigh loss) I'm still very early in my recovery- relearning how to eat & drink. It's tough, but totally worth it!

I read through your whole post- it strikes me that you are willing to surgically change your body for your future children. I admire that. I'm sure you will be an awesome Mom. I think you shouldn't worry about not being "you" anymore- your post didn't scream "curvy crazy runner"... It screamed "mom" *thats* who you are- you just don't have your babies *yet*. So don't worry about changing who you are

I used to take metformin & aldactone too.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[FingersCrossed18 19]

JamieLogical:

It's really nice to hear from somebody who's that far out and isn't going through what I've always heard! Haha Thank you for reading some of this also =] I hope you keep doing well!

chicken Lady: First off, you're amazing for reading the whole friggin' thing haha! Also, I hope that your process is smooth and healthy and you continue to do great and safely get to whatever it is your goal is!

But wow, I know it's probably stupid to be so emotional over something like this but to hear what my closest friends, husband and mother have been telling me, from somebody who doesn't even know me is really very, validating and comforting. That was a really sweet reply and I needed to hear things like that. Thank you so much, seriously. I talk too much haha- sorry.

[Kernowgirl 5]

I'm new, I just joined like, 5 minutes ago because I need to hear from some people who know first hand what I'm thinking or can just "get it."

I'm also not sure if I'm even posting in the right spot or even posting correctly at all?

I'll start by saying I'll be 24 in December, I'm married to my amazing pilipino (I know it's an "f") and the whole reason I'm wanting this surgery is kids! Haha, straight to the point.

I was diagnosed with PCOS and insulin Resistance at 13. I started showing symptoms when I was 6 and nobody knew what was going on, nobody knew as much as they do about PCOS and IR as now, leading me to this: I thought I was going to be stuck with taking Metformin and Aldactone my entire life. I've been taking it all this time, anyway. I've had 3 miscarriages, so now I'm on BC until December, when I'll get off, at that time I'll do Clomid and try again. UNTIL...

My mothers very close family friend is the owner of a company that helps get grants for candidates for this surgery, not sure if there's more than one but still, I'm not saying a name (Not that she would care)

She called to check in and said somebody close to her had a baby-she had PCOS- and the surgery had literally "cured" her PCOS and Insulin Resistance and a lot of other people they've gotten grants for. Like wooooooow. That blew my mind, I'm waiting to talk to her for more, for now I have this wonderful place. Everything I knew about my future could be changed by this and I'm freaking out. I was researching all this good stuff the day I found out.. Yesterday and I was like dude, hell yes I'm doing this! No regrets ( YOLO, really). But today I was finding out more about the diet and everything; which leads me to this:

I'm not addicted to food. I don't go to food for comfort when I'm sad or even happy. I probably don't eat enough honestly. I love Water, I love chugging Water and I love working out and chugging water. I was reading stories and videos about how so many people get dehydrated! That scares me so much. The whole process of eating a quarter of a meal makes me feel uneasy, I know it's psychological, it also sounds like I wont get nutrition (I know you need to take Vitamins, I do now anyway). Eating so so so so slow sounds like it will be weird and ultimately not like myself in a way, you know? Like changing ALL these little things will change who I am. I know that's ridiculous but I can't change that thought no matter how hard I try.

I've been bigger my ENTIRE life. I lost weight months before I met my husband from running 2 hours every night, literally around 2 in the morning, I just stared college with late classes and it was a way to occupy my time I guess. At the time but I was still curvy but healthier. I've gained weight back and it WON'T go. I run for an hour 4 days a week a few months now.

I don't know if I'll feel like ME, I look in the mirror and I'm like eh, I'm overweight but I'm okay with that in a way, I'm me? You know? I know I'm not defined by my weight but it's still apart of me in a way. I don't want to do this for the way I look (mainly) I don't think I'm scared to be thin, I'm scared to not be ME. I want to do it for my health and even though it hurts a lot and it's like UUUGH, I'll postpone having baby a couple years to have a healthy pregnancy, no gestational diabetes and a healthy baby is the only thing I want, I'm not selfish in that matter, I could do clomid now but I'm not healthy yet so I passed.

So those two fears are taking over my brain. I haven't even talked to a surgeon yet, but I have an appt with my PCOS specialist early September I'll bring it up then.

Are my fears normal? Rational? Or am I alone in this and a friggin' baby.

If you read this whole thing you're amazing and I can't thank you enough. And I'm sorry I wrote too much, I have tendencies to overshare.. a LOT.

I'm having my Gastric Bypass on the 11th of August. I don't have any medical conditions. But I'm going through this surgery to allow me to be a healthy weight to have children also.

I want babies too.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Edited August 3, 2016 by Kernowgirl