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Buyers remorse

Mangolicious

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Mangolicious    27

Mangolicious
Posted

I am 4 days postop and I am struggling with buyers remorse. I feel like I made a mistake. Yes, I was prepared mentally, but now that I'm one the other side it feels different. Has anyone else gone through this? Please let me know what you did to break that frame of thought.

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HopeandAgony    566

HopeandAgony
Posted

Hi there!

I know exactly how you feel. For the first 4 weeks I had serious buyers remorse. I was miserable. I didn't have any complications but I had a ton of pain, nausea, and diarrhea.

It wasn't until week 5 that I started to feel almost human again. It was like I woke up one morning and the pain was down significantly. Smells weren't making me sick. food was tasting better. Water was easier to drink.

I am now 9 months post op and just bought a pair of size 6 jeans yesterday and medium tops (previously size 22 jeans and 2x tops). I am down 90 lbs from my highest weight.

I couldn't be happier with my decision. I can eat anything I want in moderation. The sleeve gave me the ability to control my hunger and how much I consume. The weight loss has given me so much more energy to be active. The "Protein first" rule that my surgeon advised has completely changed the way I think about food.< /p>

Hang in there. I promise it gets better. You'll be turning that corner soon. Hugs.

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gracehughes    40

gracehughes
Posted

I did have some buyer's remorse at first, but it turned into depression, which I treated with counseling and therapy. Physiologically, you are losing weight and there are hormones stored in your fat cells so you will have more estrogen released. I think that contributed to my depression. Psychologically, my body was changing and my weight was my shield. For me, the only way to work through that was counseling.

I am now 5 1/2 months out, and I feel better than I've felt in my life. I move more easily, and I sleep better. Exercise is easier. My counseling has helped me understand the psychological aspects of my weight loss, and my depression meds have helped me understand that my baseline anxiety has been so high my whole life that I medicated with food.

Hang in there. This is a journey. You will have sad days as you grieve what was, and you will have joy watching yourself emerge as stronger, healthier, and happier. If you need counseling, find it. If you need to treat depression, do it. This is your time in life to take care of your body, soul, and spirit.

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Mangolicious    27

Mangolicious
Posted

Thank you HopeandAgony and gracehughes. I appreciate your comments.

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SalOdyssey    441

SalOdyssey
Posted

4 weeks post-op this coming Weds, and absolutely no buyers remorse at all. Things have been going really well post-op for me. My only remorse, was not doing this sooner.

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zaftik    18

zaftik
Posted

I am 12 days post op. I too have felt buyers remorse because I can't eat or drink anything and I have severe nausea. But I know that this change is for the better. This certainly isn't a simple and fast cure all for obesity. I know we will have down days ahead of us, but we can do it. I've seen too many success stories not to think so. I would rather be sick for a month or so and lose the weight than to be sick from obesity the rest of my life. Hang in there, we got this! :D

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triplethreat    257

triplethreat
Posted

I too had that awful moment when I thought, "what have I done?'" That was on the 5th day after surgery. It lasted about a day. What helped me enormously was to focus on other things. Do you have anything you can do to distract you from worrying? I actually went to work after a week off and it helped a lot to have a different focus. Also, you've just made a huge decision with no going back, so it's normal to have some anxiety. I'm in my third week since being sleeved and every day I feel better and better. Be gentle with yourself and this will pass.

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Mangolicious    27

Mangolicious
Posted

Thank you all for your support. My buyers remorse passed around day 8. I feel energized and ready to conquer new challenges. I got to say, 23 lbs in 3 weeks(includes preop) is motivating!

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serenaud    6

serenaud
Posted

Buyers remorse is very common...my pre op psych dr explained it all, and said just know when it hits, that it will pass. Hang in there - it will be better soon !

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Fanatick    2

Fanatick
Posted

Hey Mangolicious good to hear the remorse passed. I'm 10 days out and I only felt my remorse the day before surgery. Took my wife out to eat and see a movie while I was on the day prior only Water heh.

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Hippie72    23

Hippie72
Posted

I have done nothing but cry all day so far. I've been hurting and its my bday and I want to feel normal desperately. Been reading others comments and its assuring that this will all pass, but I am done with the crying and the pain and just not being ME.

Im so glad that someone mentioned food and smells, OMG how horrible everything tastes and odors are completely annoying.

Ive walked this morning and try to keep moving but I am completely depressed.

UGH

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Hippie72    23

Hippie72
Posted

@@Hippie72 Happy Birthday!!!! Your hormones are a mess from burning fat! You'll feel better soon! Stay strong!

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Thank you so much!

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Mangolicious    27

Mangolicious
Posted

@ Hippie72 I was there too! I cried for about 5 days on and off. It just suddenly passed. I came to terms with what I had done and decided to move forward. I'm much better in the purée stage. I can actually eat food, just all mushed up. Hang in there. When the pounds start shedding , you will be happy. Happy Birthday!

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Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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