I'm just going to say it like it is! ......so take it or leave it.

I don't represent this site

The members on this site helped me to be successful. I am just another bariatric patient. Most people ( newbies and vets) have been giving great support. Anyone who has been here for a while can see a definite decline on BariatricPal. Can we get this community back together? I would like to think so....

What does support mean to you? Is your participation in the negative posts working for you or anyone else?

Support: to give help or assistance

Enabling. Promoting self destructive behavior by denying, minimizing, or ignoring its harmful personal effects or outcomes.

Confrontation. To bring together for examination or comparison.( I'm not talking personal attacks) urging him or her to commit to their program. Asserting your compassionate perception that the person is slipping into behaviors that will have harmful effects or outcomes.

Without confronting personal self destructive behavior, you greatly reduce odds for long-term success.

@@healthier&happier4life

Congratulations on your surgery.

The decline would be noticeable if you have been on the site longer. Take the helpful information given and pass on the negative posts

People here are still wonderful....Keep getting the support you need.

I'm a newbie. I feel like a lot of people are throwing pity parties.

"What do you mean I can't have fried chicken and mashed potatoes and chocolate cake for dinner????"

I think the thing I miss the most is grilled cheese. But tough titties I can't have it. I miss Sprite when I'm nauseous (which is like all the time) tough crap I have to live with diluted Gatorade.

I knew I couldn't be around food early out so I skipped 4th of July and Memorial Day bbqs. Did it suck? Yeah! But I ate my oatmeal and Soup like a champ. Food will always be there later.

AMEN, sista!! Man up and follow your damn program and stop looking for loopholes! You're stuck with liquids for weeks! And then you get a couple bites of mush. Deal with it. You knew it was going to suck going in. Commit to change, already!!

Edited July 8, 201610 yr by taracutch

I think if someone is actually going thru a program, their NUT, and surgeon will have told them what they can or cannot eat. Instead of getting in a heated argument the only way to "support" that person is say ask ur dr.

Some post don't deserve a response.

Questions about insurance or experiences or recipes etc I get.....but I haven't had my first NUT visit and I kinda have an idea about what to expect my first couple of months after surgery.

Because of previous post and people writing about their experiences.

Support forums shouldn't be about u telling me yes u can have a soda or no u can't have bacon. I should already know that.

So I think it is enabling with a dash of confrontation. Let their Drs deal with the headache.

I see so many post go unanswered with real legit questions but the ones asking about bacon get all the attention.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

@@jenn1 thank you for the thoughtful thread you posted in regards to enabling or confrontation.

I am a newbie recently sleeved 28 April 2016 and as I went through the process to have the surgery I also worked on the things that were going to make me successful. I took the time to make some lifestyle changes and change my relationship with food. I came to this website and have stayed because of being able to read the journey of others who have successfully taken a journey I am on and are in a place where I want to be. I respect all whether newbies or vets who stick to plan and are no nonsense when it comes to this life changing decision. That is motivating!

I am surprised at some of the posts that I have seen lately and it is unfortunate. I can't imagine having surgery then turning around to eat bacon, pizza and chug soda or alcohol immediately after. I can't understand why some think this is ok and why they want support for this type of action. I understand the stance of some of the vets, but it is a lot of recently sleeved or wls candidates that are just as frustrated with some of the dialogue on "why can't I eat what I want?" In the short time since I had surgery this place is my go to source and I hope people reconsider their involvement.

In my short time since surgery I have followed my doctors advice, my NUTs advice, and yes I have listened to the vets. In my opinion I am rockin' my sleeve! .

There are some really good people here that are providing great support and advice may not be what someone wants to hear but it may be what someone needs to hear.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

@@nickisleeve

I agree

The real legit questions need more of our attention. Some people are attracted to the drama. My hope is people stop responding to trolling or idiot behavior"

@@Elle09

You are rocking your sleeve!

We are human we make mistakes. Its ok to make mistakes. None of us have been perfect in this process right?????

You will find some of the biggest cheerleaders for your sucess are on this site.

People who don't want to hear the truth are the ones that clearly are looking for permission. Permission is not support.

WORD.

Yeah, I know. I'm the @sshole.

Yeah. Me, too.

@@jenn1 you are correct as humans we make mistakes. Me personally I don't judge anything or anyone based on perfection.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

There are some really good people here that are providing great support and advice may not be what someone wants to hear but it may be what someone needs to hear.

Well, there's a concept.

I screwed this post up so it's actually down there below...

@@KindaFamiliar

OOOOH! What were you called???

I'm here for me. If I help people along the way, mores the better. If someone is self destructive, let them fail. Let them be the example to the others that don't want to listen to reason, wisdom, and experience.

Yeah, I know. I'm the @sshole.

I concur...

I, too, am here for me...

My concern is not the welfare or success of others...

My concern is my own welfare and success...

If, in the process of helping myself, others are aided or assisted - so be it..

But if not, that's ok too...

If that makes me an arse, so be it...

If that makes me whatever it was I was called in someone else's Status Update this morning, so be it...

As I said, I'm here for me...

We each have to do this OURSELVES...

We have to want it...

We have to take responsibility for it...

We have to do it..

This site contains so much help, so much support and so much 'give a sh*t'...

Anything that someone, no matter where they are on their 'journey' (I f*cking hate that term), may need...

It's all here...

So whether you're a 'newbie', a 'vet' or somewhere in between (like myself at 15 months out, 230+ pounds down with another 80 or so to go) - use this site and the info contained in it to make yourself well...

Seek out and take any advice that you feel you need...

But for the love of all things cheese-related, be responsible for your own actions and decisions...

And be f*cking nice!!!!

I don't remember what it was @@LipstickLady

I can't open up the rest of the replies to have another look...

It wasn't particularly nasty or anything...

It was just a little unexpected and somewhat irrelevant...

Tho it did make me smile..

@@Elle09We are human we make mistakes. Its ok to make mistakes. None of us have been perfect in this process right?????

And yet some users on here behave like they were always 100% compliant and that everyone who isn't 100% all the time deserves to fail.

I'm quite appalled that I had to read multiple times from different users something like the following:

"Oh, they're eating pizza/steak/bacon/whatever - let's watch them fail, they deserve it".

There are at least three things that rub me the wrong way about this:

- the self-righteousness of the user who made the post

- the opinion that the patient who isn't always 100% compliant seems to deserve to fail 100%

- that some users would obviously really display schadenfreude when watching someone fail who eats foods that are not on their own personal list of approved foods

I understand the need to feel superior some times, but some statements just make me shake my head in kind of disbelief.