I'm just going to say it like it is! ......so take it or leave it.

I don't represent this site

The members on this site helped me to be successful. I am just another bariatric patient. Most people ( newbies and vets) have been giving great support. Anyone who has been here for a while can see a definite decline on BariatricPal. Can we get this community back together? I would like to think so....

What does support mean to you? Is your participation in the negative posts working for you or anyone else?

Support: to give help or assistance

Enabling. Promoting self destructive behavior by denying, minimizing, or ignoring its harmful personal effects or outcomes.

Confrontation. To bring together for examination or comparison.( I'm not talking personal attacks) urging him or her to commit to their program. Asserting your compassionate perception that the person is slipping into behaviors that will have harmful effects or outcomes.

Without confronting personal self destructive behavior, you greatly reduce odds for long-term success.

@@4MRB4PHOTO - oh god, you probably drive a Subaru too, am I right?

@@4MRB4PHOTO - oh god, you probably drive a Subaru too, am I right?

Or a VW bus with flowers painted on it.

AKA: "arrest me".

@@4MRB4PHOTO - oh god, you probably drive a Subaru too, am I right?

It was posted in sarcasm due to the more frequent responses with people's shit attitudes that are found in many different posts.

I knew that @@4MRB4PHOTO - I was just poking you. The only time I ever see that sticker is on Subaru's and thought it a funny comment. No offence meant.

Sent from my phone, please forgive brevity and misspelling

I knew that @@4MRB4PHOTO - I was just poking you. The only time I ever see that sticker is on Subaru's and thought it a funny comment. No offence meant.Sent from my phone, please forgive brevity and misspelling

No offense was taken. Thanks.

I knew that @@4MRB4PHOTO - I was just poking you. The only time I ever see that sticker is on Subaru's and thought it a funny comment. No offence meant.Sent from my phone, please forgive brevity and misspelling

No offense was taken. Thanks.

--And THAT, boys and girls is how "it's" done.

Thank you, gentlemen.

This whole thread went in a totally different direction -- so much so I have to go back to the original post to refresh myself it was NOT about vets v. newbies and the various definitions of each, which I don't care about anyway.

FWIW, I *think* if I remember correctly, the gist of the original thread was a bit of frustration that newbies/recently sleeved people asking questions about risky behavior very soon after surgery and getting bent out of shape if they are having their wrists slapped.

Then there was the usual brouhaha about "vets" being snobby, rude, and unhelpful to the put-upon newbies.

Whatever.

I mostly lurk and read and try to absorb the knowledge of everyone on here; newbies AND vets.

I have been very surprised at a few posts regarding, basically, people insisting they can eat/drink/smoke things off plan very soon after surgery or blowing the pre-op diet.

Honestly, I thought a lot of these were trolls in the beginning, but at the informational seminar I went to for WLS -- the very first one -- they told the group within 30 minutes that, if they proceed with surgery, they will have to quit smoking for good, and quit caffeine, pot, recreational drug use, and alcohol for 60 days before and after surgery.

Seriously, half the (large) group got up and left after that. The people remaining, several engaged in arguing with the NUT running the informational session who wanted to be the exception and still use pot/smoke/drink the whole time -- and who wanted diet pills to help them lose lbs before and after.

IDK what the answer is. I used to be defensive and kinda pissy about telling people I was considering WLS and it seemed that EVERYONE *knew* an uncle's brother's wife's cousin's friend who died or regained 200+lbs after surgery. I THOUGHT it was BS and just ambulance-chasing mentality, but after the informational session and seeing people asking about bacon, booze, steaks, etc., I guess there ARE people out there doing this crazy stuff -- and they are ruining it for the people who are very serious and are paying big bucks to have this done.

As well, they are truly risking their lives, and if someone gets their feelings hurt by yet another person who has insight telling them, no, young grasshopper, you really shouldn't do X when you are Y days post-op -- too bad!

These are the people who regain and DO die that the rest of the WLS population has to defend the surgery from -- the random people who don't follow any guidelines and get horrible complications and regain or are in serious trouble for the rest of their lives.

And I have seen some posts from people who haven't had WLS yet, or who are VERY post-op, basically saying, yeah, I did X/harmful thing and didn't die. Go ahead, you should probably be fine. Buyer beware.

This whole thread went in a totally different direction -- so much so I have to go back to the original post to refresh myself it was NOT about vets v. newbies and the various definitions of each, which I don't care about anyway.

FWIW, I *think* if I remember correctly, the gist of the original thread was a bit of frustration that newbies/recently sleeved people asking questions about risky behavior very soon after surgery and getting bent out of shape if they are having their wrists slapped.

Then there was the usual brouhaha about "vets" being snobby, rude, and unhelpful to the put-upon newbies.

Whatever.

I mostly lurk and read and try to absorb the knowledge of everyone on here; newbies AND vets.

I have been very surprised at a few posts regarding, basically, people insisting they can eat/drink/smoke things off plan very soon after surgery or blowing the pre-op diet.

Honestly, I thought a lot of these were trolls in the beginning, but at the informational seminar I went to for WLS -- the very first one -- they told the group within 30 minutes that, if they proceed with surgery, they will have to quit smoking for good, and quit caffeine, pot, recreational drug use, and alcohol for 60 days before and after surgery.

Seriously, half the (large) group got up and left after that. The people remaining, several engaged in arguing with the NUT running the informational session who wanted to be the exception and still use pot/smoke/drink the whole time -- and who wanted diet pills to help them lose lbs before and after.

IDK what the answer is. I used to be defensive and kinda pissy about telling people I was considering WLS and it seemed that EVERYONE *knew* an uncle's brother's wife's cousin's friend who died or regained 200+lbs after surgery. I THOUGHT it was BS and just ambulance-chasing mentality, but after the informational session and seeing people asking about bacon, booze, steaks, etc., I guess there ARE people out there doing this crazy stuff -- and they are ruining it for the people who are very serious and are paying big bucks to have this done.

As well, they are truly risking their lives, and if someone gets their feelings hurt by yet another person who has insight telling them, no, young grasshopper, you really shouldn't do X when you are Y days post-op -- too bad!

These are the people who regain and DO die that the rest of the WLS population has to defend the surgery from -- the random people who don't follow any guidelines and get horrible complications and regain or are in serious trouble for the rest of their lives.

And I have seen some posts from people who haven't had WLS yet, or who are VERY post-op, basically saying, yeah, I did X/harmful thing and didn't die. Go ahead, you should probably be fine. Buyer beware.

And to even further complicate things, there are surgeons out there saying "yes, you can drink alcohol after 6 weeks", or putting people back on solid food mere days after surgery... based on your experience I have to wonder if they aren't just giving in because of the huge numbers of people who don't want to change their lifestyle at all.

I recently weighed in on an alcohol thread, because as a nurse I don't want people thinking that because this person drank soon after surgery that it's OK. I haven't had the surgery yet, but I do know from a medical perspective that it's risky behaviour.

I guess we can't save people from themselves.

This whole thread went in a totally different direction -- so much so I have to go back to the original post to refresh myself it was NOT about vets v. newbies and the various definitions of each, which I don't care about anyway.

FWIW, I *think* if I remember correctly, the gist of the original thread was a bit of frustration that newbies/recently sleeved people asking questions about risky behavior very soon after surgery and getting bent out of shape if they are having their wrists slapped.

Then there was the usual brouhaha about "vets" being snobby, rude, and unhelpful to the put-upon newbies.

Whatever.

I mostly lurk and read and try to absorb the knowledge of everyone on here; newbies AND vets.

I have been very surprised at a few posts regarding, basically, people insisting they can eat/drink/smoke things off plan very soon after surgery or blowing the pre-op diet.

Honestly, I thought a lot of these were trolls in the beginning, but at the informational seminar I went to for WLS -- the very first one -- they told the group within 30 minutes that, if they proceed with surgery, they will have to quit smoking for good, and quit caffeine, pot, recreational drug use, and alcohol for 60 days before and after surgery.

Seriously, half the (large) group got up and left after that. The people remaining, several engaged in arguing with the NUT running the informational session who wanted to be the exception and still use pot/smoke/drink the whole time -- and who wanted diet pills to help them lose lbs before and after.

IDK what the answer is. I used to be defensive and kinda pissy about telling people I was considering WLS and it seemed that EVERYONE *knew* an uncle's brother's wife's cousin's friend who died or regained 200+lbs after surgery. I THOUGHT it was BS and just ambulance-chasing mentality, but after the informational session and seeing people asking about bacon, booze, steaks, etc., I guess there ARE people out there doing this crazy stuff -- and they are ruining it for the people who are very serious and are paying big bucks to have this done.

As well, they are truly risking their lives, and if someone gets their feelings hurt by yet another person who has insight telling them, no, young grasshopper, you really shouldn't do X when you are Y days post-op -- too bad!

These are the people who regain and DO die that the rest of the WLS population has to defend the surgery from -- the random people who don't follow any guidelines and get horrible complications and regain or are in serious trouble for the rest of their lives.

And I have seen some posts from people who haven't had WLS yet, or who are VERY post-op, basically saying, yeah, I did X/harmful thing and didn't die. Go ahead, you should probably be fine. Buyer beware.

And to even further complicate things, there are surgeons out there saying "yes, you can drink alcohol after 6 weeks", or putting people back on solid food mere days after surgery... based on your experience I have to wonder if they aren't just giving in because of the huge numbers of people who don't want to change their lifestyle at all.

I recently weighed in on an alcohol thread, because as a nurse I don't want people thinking that because this person drank soon after surgery that it's OK. I haven't had the surgery yet, but I do know from a medical perspective that it's risky behaviour.

I guess we can't save people from themselves.

But PLEASE , don't stop trying. I appreciate your sensible input.

All any of us can do is---try.

I thank you for trying...

my Doc put me back on solids at 4 weeks... softs at 3... but I'm watching it or trying too...

But PLEASE , don't stop trying. I appreciate your sensible input.

All any of us can do is---try.

I thank you for trying...

Oh, trust me... I don't get muzzled easily. I've been around the internet since before it was the internet (yes, I *am* Methuselah LOL). If people want to get their undies in a bunch because of something I say, they're welcome to. I am sometimes taken aback by people responding like I'm being the wicked b**ch of the west when I've given a very measured response to something, but it doesn't shut me up.

I knew that @@4MRB4PHOTO - I was just poking you. The only time I ever see that sticker is on Subaru's and thought it a funny comment. No offence meant.Sent from my phone, please forgive brevity and misspelling

No offense was taken. Thanks.

--And THAT, boys and girls is how "it's" done. Thank you, gentlemen.

I knew he was only joking. I like when people use humor in posts.

Now if he said I drove a Prius..........thems a fightin' words!

I knew that @@4MRB4PHOTO - I was just poking you. The only time I ever see that sticker is on Subaru's and thought it a funny comment. No offence meant.

Sent from my phone, please forgive brevity and misspelling

.

I always thought that sticker came with subarus

Hug a vet ????

But PLEASE , don't stop trying. I appreciate your sensible input.

All any of us can do is---try.

I thank you for trying...

Oh, trust me... I don't get muzzled easily. I've been around the internet since before it was the internet (yes, I *am* Methuselah LOL). If people want to get their undies in a bunch because of something I say, they're welcome to. I am sometimes taken aback by people responding like I'm being the wicked b**ch of the west when I've given a very measured response to something, but it doesn't shut me up.

I assume that if a house doesn't land on them, they should consider themselves fortunate?

Stand strong, but not hurtful. ---my goal.