Scared

[beccaconaty87 52]

So a brief little summary about myself. last year I started going to see dr. corn. I was approximately 300 pounds 27 years old 5 foot 4. I was struggling and out of shape trying to raise three young children. I was tired of not being able to play with them, not being able to fit on rides at the Carnival's, being made fun of and stared at. I was tired of being told you have such a pretty face and that being all. After a Couple visits I decided I didn't want to do the surgery anymore. Not necessarily that I didn't want to do the surgery but was too scared to do the surgery. My partner didn't want me doing the surgery because she was scared that I would end up looking sick malnourished and I would be unhappy with myself even more. We had a lot of family members who have had the surgery and have lost too much weight they look unhealthy they're always sick. She was scared of that happening to me. And in return I was scared. I don't want to be the weight that the doctor say I should be. They say I'm supposed to be about a hundred and thirty pounds. I would be happy being a 180 to 200 pounds. I still want to have curves I still want to feel beautiful but I don't want to be super skinny. But I know that I need the help. I have PCOS and in the last year I've gained another 38 pounds. I'm really scared that I'm to the point where I'm going to die. I think I've developed sleep apnea, im having a harder time walking, lots of swelling, short of breath and the PCOS is getting out of control. I've developed rashes from the PCOS. I will miss my period for 3 months and then have a really heavy period where I can't even leave the house. I just know my situation is getting worse and I've got to do something. And I'm not even eating a lot more than what I was a year ago. In fact I feel like I'm missing a lot more meals. But I know that the PCOS is what is contributing to the weight gain. I met a lady last month who had just had the sleeve done. She suggested that I look into the sleeve because you lose weight not as fast and therefore you have less problems with the extra skin. And I thought maybe that might be the way I want to go. I called dr. Koren and scheduled an appointment again. I get started July 13th. I'm scared to death. How do I keep myself from being scared of doing the surgery. I know it's what I need. I'm just scared of all the bad things that could happen. I'm scared of hating the way I look even more after the surgery. I have a ton of extra skin already and I don't want to have to be tucking it all in and wearing all different kinds of undergarments to hold everything in place. That's not going to make me feel better about myself. Help I need some advice.

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[reree6898 1,164]

I'm not going to lie to you even with the sleeve there can be skin issues. I was 319 at surgery and am 193 now at 5'5" and I have some saggy skin but it's nothing compared to what I have seen on others. Now I am 37 so you being younger is an advantage to help with the skin but we are all different and you will not know exactly how your skin will do till you do it. I will say though that I wish I had been able to do this years ago. It is the BEST thing I have ever done for myself. I too have three kids and losing this weight makes me feel like I have been given my life back. I am able to physically do so much more and take part in life again instead of watching from the sidelines. You have to choose what's going to be best for your life but I would do it all again in an instant because the benefits well outweigh the fears.

[CamJ83 25]

Becca,

I'm not going to lie, I had all the same concerns. I also decided on the sleeve...here's what I did. On your first appointment with the surgeon, have a list of questions, talk about your concerns, all of them that's what he/she is there for. I had to do 6 months of nutrition counseling which I thought was great so you're not going in blind. The main goal is for you to be healthy. I haven't had my surgery yet, it's scheduled for 7/6, but remember by losing some of the weight you'll be able to work out and tone up...if you have excess skin there's always plastic surgery but don't let that be your determining factor. All you'll need is the right support and you'll be fine....at least that's what my fiance keeps telling me. ????

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[beccaconaty87 52]

Thank you so much! I was watching these parents riding their bikes with their kids and it brought me to tears. I used to love riding bikes. When I was younger and Fit I would ride the green belt everyday for hours. I wish I could be doing that with my kids. I want to do the surgery before I miss out on playing with my children. They are six eight and nine. I still have Time to get out there with them. I know the surgery will change my life in a positive way. I'm just so so scared. But then again if I don't do the surgery I could end up with diabetes high blood pressure I could even die. So I think that the surgery has more benefits.

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[beccaconaty87 52]

Becca,

I'm not going to lie, I had all the same concerns. I also decided on the sleeve...here's what I did. On your first appointment with the surgeon, have a list of questions, talk about your concerns, all of them that's what he/she is there for. I had to do 6 months of nutrition counseling which I thought was great so you're not going in blind. The main goal is for you to be healthy. I haven't had my surgery yet, it's scheduled for 7/6, but remember by losing some of the weight you'll be able to work out and tone up...if you have excess skin there's always plastic surgery but don't let that be your determining factor. All you'll need is the right support and you'll be fine....at least that's what my fiance keeps telling me. ????

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Thank you :-) I'm really glad that you have a supportive fiance. Last year my partner was more scared and not as supportive. Mainly because she was worried that I would come out unhappy because of the loose skin. She was also worried because she had family members who became really sick after having the surgery. But this go-round I'm going to have her go to the support groups with me and ask the questions that she has. I know she loves me I know she supports me I think she's just scared like I am.

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[KristenLe 5,979]

@@beccaconaty87 I strongly encourage therapy as part of your journey. Write a list of all the "positives" of losing weight - and all the things you'd like to do once you have lost weight (that you can't do now). Remember - morbid obesity has far more health complications and a 50% increased risk of death. That's a scary statistic! You are still young and can take control of your life and your health before you have the comorbidities that go along with obesity (sleep apnea,diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, joint pain, etc.). When you consider all the complications and effects of obesity - the lose skin after weight loss doesn't seem all that important. Whether or not you have lose skin is dependent on your weight loss (yo-yo diet) history, genetics, amount to lose, speed of loss, etc. No one can predict that you'll have less skin issues with the sleeve than bypass. At 300+ lbs - you need to really consider your health and future instead of worrying about how you will look after losing weight. The sleeve sounds like a good option for you - there's no malabsorption issues to deal with. If you follow the plan - get enough Protein, Vitamins and exercise - you can look and feel great! Stay strong and positive!!!

Edited June 20, 2016 by KristenLe

[beccaconaty87 52]

@@beccaconaty87 I strongly encourage therapy as part of your journey. Write a list of all the "positives" of losing weight - and all the things you'd like to do once you have lost weight (that you can't do now). Remember - morbid obesity has far more health complications and a 50% increased risk of death. That's a scary statistic! You are still young and can take control of your life and your health before you have the comorbidities that go along with obesity (sleep apnea,diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, joint pain, etc.). When you consider all the complications and effects of obesity - the lose skin after weight loss doesn't seem all that important. Whether or not you have lose skin is dependent on your weight loss (yo-yo diet) history, genetics, amount to lose, speed of loss, etc. No one can predict that you'll have less skin issues with the sleeve than bypass. At 300+ lbs - you need to really consider your health and future instead of worrying about how you will look after losing weight. The sleeve sounds like a good option for you - there's no malabsorption issues to deal with. If you follow the plan - get enough Protein, Vitamins and exercise - you can look and feel great! Stay strong and positive!!!

You made some really great points thank you so much. You're right if you sit and think about it for a minute having some loose skin is not nearly as bad as the complications of sleep apnea, high blood pressure, stroke, heart attack, not to mention the ongoing fatigue and tiredness that my body feels from having to hold up this weight. I'm really at the point where I almost don't want to get out of bed anymore. I just get so tired. For the last few years that I've been really overweight I haven't noticed that I was overweight. I could still get out and do things and wouldn't be short of breath and didn't have the problems like other people who I saw that were overweight. But now I'm getting them. I'm breathing a lot harder after walking a flight of stairs. And I mean breathing very heavily. I'm sure everyone around me could hear it. My partner complains about my sleeping and how all jolt awake and gasp for air. I've noticed that I'm starting to get high blood pressure. I keep making up excuses for it and saying is just anxiety but I know that it's probably the weight. It's just it's all starting to catch up with me. And that's a lot scarier then having loose skin.

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[CamJ83 25]

Becca,

I'm not going to lie, I had all the same concerns. I also decided on the sleeve...here's what I did. On your first appointment with the surgeon, have a list of questions, talk about your concerns, all of them that's what he/she is there for. I had to do 6 months of nutrition counseling which I thought was great so you're not going in blind. The main goal is for you to be healthy. I haven't had my surgery yet, it's scheduled for 7/6, but remember by losing some of the weight you'll be able to work out and tone up...if you have excess skin there's always plastic surgery but don't let that be your determining factor. All you'll need is the right support and you'll be fine....at least that's what my fiance keeps telling me. ????

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Thank you :-) I'm really glad that you have a supportive fiance. Last year my partner was more scared and not as supportive. Mainly because she was worried that I would come out unhappy because of the loose skin. She was also worried because she had family members who became really sick after having the surgery. But this go-round I'm going to have her go to the support groups with me and ask the questions that she has. I know she loves me I know she supports me I think she's just scared like I am.

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Understandable...have you considered you both going to that appointment? May ease your fears. Follow your doctor's Post-op guidelines to the letter and your chances of getting sick will be low...that's what my nutritionist has drilled into my head

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[KristenLe 5,979]

@@beccaconaty87 I wish I had WLS at your age. I waited until I was 48 years old and had all of the health problems that go along with obesity. You can do this!

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@beccaconaty87

Hi there and welcome!

I think almost everyone has initial fears of what could happen. The reality is, what will happen if you choose to wait and do nothing? I know for me, I waited way too long before taking the plunge and moving forward.

I had RNY bypass and I thank god every single day that I decided to move forward. I was 51, 5'10" and weighed 310lbs. I had numerous comorbities and had just been diagnosed with stage 3 chronic kidney disease as well. My kidney Doctor is the one who suggested that I do something now or would be looking at a dialysis and possibly a kidney transplant down the road. All because I was obese.

The answer to the question is yes, you will have loose skin but let me tell you, I would much rather have loose skin that carry around almost another whole me! I have lost 149lbs. I weigh 161 which is a healthy normal weight for my height. Before my surgery I was 310lb and I was actually malnourished!!!! I did not eat a lot. In fact, my family could not understand how the heck I was overweight. The reality was I ate a carb heavy crappy diet. Now, my body craves quality Protein, vegetables and fruits.

I don't get sick, I pretty much eat whatever I want in small quantities. I simply don't care for the crappy junk foods I ate previously.

Please try to get yourself in to see a nutritionist and a physcologist before you wait way too long. My only regret is that. I caused my bones and muscles a lot of damage that cannot be undone.

You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Get yourself some help to work through this along with your partner.

My husband is thrilled with how I look. He found me beautiful before but now he says I am hot too! And other men have noticed me as well......

I will have some plastics to take care of my extra skin on my arms, tummy and to have a breast lift but because you are young you may have better results.

I would also just mention that of course someone losing that much weight looks crazy thin and may even initially look sickly. The reality is, we as a country are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that we no longer understand what normal looks like. I am slowly getting used to how I look and so are my family members. Many times I have had people tell me I am too thin but I know that is not true. The reality is they have only ever known me as fat or obese and it can be shocking but they get used to it.

When I meet new people and they learn I was once obese, they are shocked because I look fantastic now. I have had several tell me they never would have know that I was once fat. Which means that loose skin I have is more about me knowing it is there than anyone else. I don't wear compression garments either because I have such bad arthritis that they are too hard to get on and off.

I hope sharing some of this eases your mind a little bit......

Best if luck to you!

[beccaconaty87 52]

@@beccaconaty87

Hi there and welcome!

I think almost everyone has initial fears of what could happen. The reality is, what will happen if you choose to wait and do nothing? I know for me, I waited way too long before taking the plunge and moving forward.

I had RNY bypass and I thank god every single day that I decided to move forward. I was 51, 5'10" and weighed 310lbs. I had numerous comorbities and had just been diagnosed with stage 3 chronic kidney disease as well. My kidney Doctor is the one who suggested that I do something now or would be looking at a dialysis and possibly a kidney transplant down the road. All because I was obese.

The answer to the question is yes, you will have loose skin but let me tell you, I would much rather have loose skin that carry around almost another whole me! I have lost 149lbs. I weigh 161 which is a healthy normal weight for my height. Before my surgery I was 310lb and I was actually malnourished!!!! I did not eat a lot. In fact, my family could not understand how the heck I was overweight. The reality was I ate a carb heavy crappy diet. Now, my body craves quality Protein, vegetables and fruits.

I don't get sick, I pretty much eat whatever I want in small quantities. I simply don't care for the crappy junk foods I ate previously.

Please try to get yourself in to see a nutritionist and a physcologist before you wait way too long. My only regret is that. I caused my bones and muscles a lot of damage that cannot be undone.

You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Get yourself some help to work through this along with your partner.

My husband is thrilled with how I look. He found me beautiful before but now he says I am hot too! And other men have noticed me as well......

I will have some plastics to take care of my extra skin on my arms, tummy and to have a breast lift but because you are young you may have better results.

I would also just mention that of course someone losing that much weight looks crazy thin and may even initially look sickly. The reality is, we as a country are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that we no longer understand what normal looks like. I am slowly getting used to how I look and so are my family members. Many times I have had people tell me I am too thin but I know that is not true. The reality is they have only ever known me as fat or obese and it can be shocking but they get used to it.

When I meet new people and they learn I was once obese, they are shocked because I look fantastic now. I have had several tell me they never would have know that I was once fat. Which means that loose skin I have is more about me knowing it is there than anyone else. I don't wear compression garments either because I have such bad arthritis that they are too hard to get on and off.

I hope sharing some of this eases your mind a little bit......

Best if luck to you!

Thank you so much for your post! You gave a lot of wonderful advice. I'm excited for the surgery. And I'm hoping that as I move along and ask more questions that it will ease my fears.

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[WitchySar 244]

Back when I was 24 a good friend of mine got WLS. I thought about it, I've always been fat my whole life but my health wasn't bad so I decided it wasn't for me.

When I was 26 another good friend got WLS. I thought about it, I was getting more tired of being fat but my health still wasn't bad so I decided it wasn't for me.

When I was about 29 a couple more people I knew has WLS. I thought about it but decided I'd rather give weight loss another try on my own. I was strong enough to do it myself, I wasn't *weak*, I didn't need surgery.

Fast forward to now. I'm 42 and several more friends, and my bio-mom have had the surgery. My health has been going downhill, fast, and I know now I need the surgery. None of my previous attempts to lose weight worked long term. I am now ready for this journey. Am I scared? Hell yeah, I'm scared. I'm terrified I'll die, or I'll have some horrible complications from the surgery (about half my friends had complications), or I'll lose too much weight and hate myself. I'm scared of flappy loose skin. My looks have always been super important to me, I'm so afraid I'll be ugly after surgery. But you know what? I'll get through it. I have a supportive husband, supportive friends (only told a couple, but it helps). I have a therapist I can talk to about my concerns. So despite being afraid I'm going to do it. I NEED to do it.

I wish I had done it years ago when I first thought about it. Don't let your fears hold you back. Don't be like me and wait so long. Start your life now.

Edited June 21, 2016 by WitchySar

[catwoman7 10,945]

all I can say is, I'm *much* happier with my loose skin than I was weighing 373 lbs. I'll take the loose skin any day!

as for your fear of getting too thin, way more people end up losing less than they originally wanted to than end up too thin.

[beccaconaty87 52]

all I can say is, I'm *much* happier with my loose skin than I was weighing 373 lbs. I'll take the loose skin any day!

as for your fear of getting too thin, way more people end up losing less than they originally wanted to than end up too thin.

If u don't mind me asking.. what procedure did u have? When did u have it? How much weight have u lost?

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[catwoman7 10,945]

all I can say is, I'm *much* happier with my loose skin than I was weighing 373 lbs. I'll take the loose skin any day!

as for your fear of getting too thin, way more people end up losing less than they originally wanted to than end up too thin.

If u don't mind me asking.. what procedure did u have? When did u have it? How much weight have u lost?

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I had RNY 13 months ago. I've lost 130 pounds since surgery, and 188 pounds altogether (I lost 53 lbs on my own before I had the surgery)