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To those who are new(ish) to Internet public forums, plus a wish.

LipstickLady

By LipstickLady, in Rants & Raves

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LipstickLady    25,682

LipstickLady
Posted

I posted some of this elsewhere, but perhaps this might serve as a helpful guide/reminder as many of us may be quite sensitive immediately pre and post op. Our bodies and minds are going through great changes and quite often, so are our relationships in the real world which completely throws some of us for a loop.

We turn here for support from like minded people but some feel that they aren't getting what they desire. So...a primer on Internet forums. Feel free to add your own reminders. :D

First. There is no rule that the responses must stop when you feel you got the appropriate answers, nor do they stop if you get answers you don't like. There are threads on this board that get bumped after 2-3 years of dormancy, such is the way of internet forums.

Second, just because you start a thread, it is not YOURS. This is a public forum and you will get answers from the public. Some will be very educated, some will not. Some will be warm and fuzzy, others will be blunt and to the point. And some will be overtly hostile. Take what you want, learn what you can and leave the rest.

Third. You cannot interpret the tone of the author of the post. You can read the words but that does not mean you are clearly interpreting the intent of the message being presented. If you don't like the tone you are perceiving, or are confused by it, ask. I don't mind if you say, "Hey lipstick! You being b!tchy or just straightforward?" Or "I'm really not sure how to take what you just said, care to explain?" It's the mature way to handle things and will often end hard feelings before they start. Maybe someone is having a bad day and totally worded their response badly. Give them a chance to apologize, reword or stand by their words before going off in a tangent.

If you CHOOSE to read someone's comment and tone as perpetually b!tchy, that's on you. You can't control the actions of others, you can only control your reactions. If you can't stand someone, block them. It's easy and you will never have to read their nonsense again.

Fourth. Topics will go off course and discussion will ensue even after the initial question seems to be resolved. The topics presented are NOT just for the benefit of the person who initiated it, but also for other forum participants current and future.

Fifth. Name calling is immature and ridiculous. It's also against forum rules. Don't do it. It totally invalidates every word that comes out of your mouth, past, present and future.

Sixth. Debate is good. Learn from it. Read it with an open mind. Participate civilly. It's ok to disagree.

And my wish...

Wouldn't it be nice if people could put some kind of color coding on their posts? Maybe the text would be black if the OP desires straightforward responses, pink for warm fuzzy responses, red if they want a true kick in the arse, green if they just need to vent but don't necessarily need advice, etc. sigh...

We are all traveling to the same destination. Our paths are different, our method of travel varies. Some roads are long, some short, some rocky, some smooth. The end goal is to get there. I'm there and I'm buying beer and Coke Zero for any and all who get here with me!

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Christinamo7    4,042

Christinamo7
Posted

toads?

Got a problem with toads?

:D nope. I had to kiss an awful lot of them to find my prince.

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Andrea72    510

Andrea72
Posted

@@LipstickLady

Will you also bring hot young guys to put their hands on my ass like they do at mud runs?!?!?

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Monie717    183

Monie717
Posted

Thoughtful and well said LipstickLady.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Babbs    14,681

Babbs
Posted

I like turtles.

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VSGAnn2014    12,992

VSGAnn2014
Posted

I just want a hug.

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theantichick    2,204

theantichick
Posted

As someone who's been on the Internet since the AOL days, very well said.

sent from mobile device

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Read2016    658

Read2016
Posted

Please forgive me for disagreeing, I find it sad that a post needs to be written to remind adults of how to conduct themselves... The same manners you have offline should be brought to online... If you interact poorly with people in the real world, your not going to do any better in the cyber world... I do respect the time it took you to write that detailed post..

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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VSGAnn2014    12,992

VSGAnn2014
Posted

Please forgive me for disagreeing, I find it sad that a post needs to be written to remind adults of how to conduct themselves... The same manners you have offline should be brought to online... If you interact poorly with people in the real world, your not going to do any better in the cyber world... I do respect the time it took you to write that detailed post..

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

And I resent that!

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Go To Topic Listing Rants & Raves

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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