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Cannot decide if surgery is for me



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I have been considering surgery seriously for a year now as I feel myself getting unhealthier. I met with a great doctor yesterday and was excited but there's this feeling in pit of my stomach that is scared that this is too drastic. We discussed lap band vs sleeve. She said At my age I would lose 80 pounds with sleeve. Today I'm wondering if I could just make a real effort with diet and exercise to achieve that without cutting out my stomach or putting something foreign inside my body. Did anyone else have doubts?

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Everyone has--or should have doubts before having WLS. Those doubts usually come with a dose of fear if not all out panic.

You aren't ready--in my opinion.

Your research is incomplete. Read everything you can get your hands on. Talk to as many WLS folks you can (those who will share their experience with you). Go to WLS support group meetings. Those meetings are deep deep wells of information. Ask questions--write them down before you go so you don't forget any. Talk to people who have had a negative experience as well as the fortunate ones who have had great success.

Keep posting and reading on this site. There are always opinions! --as well as useful information.

Discuss WLS with your spouse/S.O. to get their feelings about the procedure. This is a big one! WLS is soooo much more difficult without support.

After you have done all of the above (and a little praying couldn't hurt), your mind and heart will know.

Then you will be ready.

I wish you "happy information hunting".

Prayers going up for you.

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Thank you. Your insight and advice hit home. I think I agree I'm not ready. I think I should commit to diet and exercise. I have follow up visits with the doctor for the insurance process, I think I will keep them and see where I'm at in 3 months. In the meantime, more research and more soul searching.

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It took me 10 years to come to the decision of having surgery. I would waffle between "Am I ready?" and "I'm never having surgery because I can do this myself!" Personally, it took me multiple times of real hardcore effort of losing, only to find myself regaining, to finally accept that I cannot do this on my own. It is not something to be rushed into, so take your time, do your research, give it a real honest to goodness go on your own and go from there. If you do decide to have surgery, you will know when it is time.

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Thank you. Your insight and advice hit home. I think I agree I'm not ready. I think I should commit to diet and exercise. I have follow up visits with the doctor for the insurance process, I think I will keep them and see where I'm at in 3 months. In the meantime, more research and more soul searching.

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I tried and tried and Everytime I tried the latest diet I lost then regained ...The lapband was a nightmare as well...my friends who had the sleeve or bypass years ago are all doing well.

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I have all the best diet books...tried them all...now that I have the bypass I can give them away.Its a tool that helps me stick to eating healthy....

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I have been on a diet since 1978 and gained an extra 50 pounds beyond my pregnancy weight. A stroke is what convinced me to give up and get some surgical help.

Here are some common processes than many of our bariatric programs have in common. It will give you a head start and may be all you need to be successful.

Don't eat anything made in a factory.

Eat lean Protein first, and plenty of it.

Drink Water until your eyeballs float.

Don't become part of the sofa.

Here is a link to my favorite thread in this forum. It will give you 1, 319 reasons why the rest of us got our surgeries.

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/219831-what-was-your-final-straw-that-broke-the-camels-back/?hl=%20final%20%20straw

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Its hard work and WLS isn't easy and you have to work hard to get the weight off.People think that WLS is performed and weight drops off magically....it's a commitment...and constant management.....patience...

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Thank you to everyone. I think I changed my mind six times between last night and today. I'm going to keep educating myself and exploring this forum.

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You could be on your way to losing weight and getting in control....

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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