omg the saga continues....need to let off steam

I am looking for lawyers and spoke to one briefly that mentioned I could get spousal support. I thought I would feel very guilty taking it knowing how tight he is financially now.

Well today he is making it much easier on me. I am trying to be respectful of his polite request to be present when I come to our apartment to pack up my things, but he's NEVER home! Every day I'm like how about today or tomorrow or this weekend and he always says he has something going on. Then he throws back at me "what do you need that is so urgent?"

Now I'm talking to him about some of our mutual things that I would like to take. I am currently staying with my parents and these things will be stored in their basement until I have my own place and he keeps throwing that in my face. When I said I want one of our area rugs he says he needs it now and I don't. When I said I want two out of the 4 book cases we have again he says he needs it now and I don't

every single thing I say I want to take he is giving me grief over even though the list of things he is keeping is so much longer than the list of things I want to take.

He is making it easy for me to want to stop being nice about this. I still have my keys, either he lets me take what I want with his blessing or he's going to come home to an empty apartment one day

If he has a lawyer you need one too. Google and find a low cost legal aid in your area. The courts will force him to allow you access to your share of property.

So today I told him that whether he was there or not I was coming by saturday with my dad's truck to get some things.

his answer......."well that fucks up my plans a bit"

my response..."well divorce fucked up my life a bit"

You go, girl!

Keep reminding yourself that his situation is no longer your circus, and no longer your monkeys.

And yeah, if he already has a lawyer, you'll need to get one too or they can pull some fast and loose stuff on you. Hopefully he'll realize that contesting things just makes it more expensive for himself too, and it won't cost you an arm and a leg.

The separation of the cats is horrible. I had my solicitor draw up that he had to agree to half of all the medical bills for our cat.As long as my lovely cat needed attention medically I could not cover 100%. That was agreed to. I had to leave the house fully functionable until the house was sold. A solicitor may insist goods are left until the date the lease is up. I made a list of what to take immediately and what I wanted later. I also explained the law would force him to give me half of the belongings. He ran out of steam fast. We sat down and agreed on what he would need and what I would need. My x threatened to burn down the house with me and the cat in it. He was nasty, but now it is different. We talk once in a while.There is no longer a hold of power over me. Every day I sat with no carpet and boxed up stuff in a tiny flat, but I was free. I binged a few times throughout the ordeal. Thankfully I got the band. It gave me a lifeline. I came out the other end sane and able to rebuild slowly. I wish you every good thing for your future. You sound stronger. Well done.

I actually feel bad for the cats. We had three cats and I was out of work so I was home all day. Then our older cat died, and I moved out and took one of the cats, then got a job. So each of our cats is suddenly completely alone. If I had moved into my own apartment instead of my parents house I would probably have gotten another cat to keep her company.

and see my avatar? He kept the white one I kept the black one

while your getting your stuff, take the other cat. It's the right thing to do===keep them together.