Conflicting Information From Doctors/Patients And My Fears

[Hey Man 21]

If I do have the surgery - it wouldn't be until next year, so I have a year to lose some weight in that time - but also decide if the surgery is right for me. My doctor has some other options that we are going to discuss, so this is not something that I am rushing into.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Heather I ... this is such a good post! Thank you.

Ann

Just my two cents reading these posts, and I haven't been sleeved yet (hoping June!) but what I'm hearing, respectfully, is you are trying to cut a deal or bargain your way into having surgery, but still eating the foods you love. I don't think at 400 lbs you (or any of us on here,) are good at "moderation." I've been reading for MONTHS on this site, and very few people can eat "just a few" of any trigger foods and leave it alone. There is a VERY long thread about weight regained that is both depressing and informative. I honestly think you should read all 150+pages of posts and analyze what people are saying.

Honestly, your wife seems to be playing with fire, in my opinion. You say she's able to eat larger portions than you have been told was possible and having some "fun" foods that were perhaps trigger foods for her. She's still newly sleeved. Weight regain is very possible for her in the years to come.

I can't have an open bag of chips around the house. Unopened on a shelf, fine. They stay left alone. Opened, forget it -- done. I love crunch. A sleeve of crackers can be scarfed with a brick of cheese in an instant.

Take your time and hold off on surgery. I think you'll get to the point of needing and wanting it, but maybe not just yet.

But, honestly, take a real look at the next plate of wings you are eating. Analyze if you actually love the taste of all X amount you have as a portion. So much of what we "love" loses its luster after we have gorged ourselves on it, but there is the mental food addiction that is at play that keeps us stuffing our faces.

Just my two cents, but I think it's scary how quickly 400 lbs and "healthy fat" can turn into busted knees, hips, ankles, bed bound, incapacitated, out of work, and blowing up to 500+ lbs with no option of burning it off.

And, lastly, I think you are misinformed that there are skinny people out there who eat fatty foods in moderation. I have think friends, and they are not neurotic about their food, but they choose to eat those things MAYBE 1x a year. They self-monitor their intake and try to eat healthy 95% of the time to allow for treats -- which is what we should be doing.

Over half the U.S. is obese, and diabetes is an epidemic. Skinny people aren't eating all the wings, pizza, beer, and chips. Honestly, it's almost hard to FIND thin people. Look around you at the grocery store, airports, etc. I would say I see 85% of the population is overweight. Look at how many scooters Walmart has for overweight people. It's a lot!

Take the time you need to get the food craving you love out of your system and hold off. I think you're going to be miserable after surgery -- at least right now.

[Daisee68 2,493]

@@Hey Man - I read all these posts this morning and have been thinking about it all day and want to throw my 2 cents in.

I had surgery last June and made the decision to do so in January of the same year; however, it is something I thought about and wrestled with for probably 10 years. And in fact, part of my reasons for not doing it were the exact reasons you mention. And to be honest, even once I decided to have the surgery, I was still in the same frame of mind - moderation. I remember having a total meltdown during the pre-op diet screaming at my sister "How on earth can a person live on 1500 calories?! If I could do that I wouldn't need the damn surgery!" Now at 10 1/2 months post-op, I am still at around 1100-1200 calories per day and satisfied with it. (Oh by the way, I had bypass not sleeve.)

I still struggle with my food addiction. (I am not saying that is your issue - you have to decide if it is or not which therapy finally made me realize.) I don't struggle as much everyday as I used to, but it is always going to be the monkey on my back (or well it will be something I have to be aware and cautious of the rest of my life.) I LOVE chips and cheez-its and I mean LOVE. I always think I can do "moderation" and I will buy them and even portion out and count my 1 oz portion the first few times and then all of sudden, I cannot take it any longer and grab that bag and eat until I am miserable. Why? Because I am an addict and for me, this is a slippery slope. Does it mean I am going to quit eating those things completely? Probably not, but I do have to have a better strategy for it (like not having them in my home).

What I am still amazed by though is sort of what I think you might be getting at and that is that the surgery gives you a jump on the issue. Look it is way easier to avoid potato chips when I see the scale dropping, but I also think the diet restriction (especially in the first few months) gives you a head start and you start craving better / healthier foods. My food tracker is my barometer - not everyone tracks, but for me, it allows me to see what nutrients I have had that day and what nutrients I still need to get in for the day. I am a very visual person, so I need that check and balance. (There is something about accountability when you actually have to face it and be honest with yourself and write it down too.) I don't eat as healthy or clean as some people on this board do. Nor do I exercise as much. Is that the right way to do it? Probably not, but when I look at how I eat or how much I exercise now versus how it was a year ago, I know that I have made huge strides and I am still growing and changing in that area. My therapist (who I continue to see even this far out and will see for at least 2 years post-op) constantly reminds me that I was obese and lived with those thoughts and habits for many years (at least 30 years if not more), so how can I expect them to change completely in 10 months? I can't. But what I can see is that I am continually changing and that the surgery gave me the jump start to begin new habits, improve my health and get the weight off while I was learning new habits.

I agree with @@Babbs, that I think you are asking all the right questions. I just think you are really early in the process of deciding if it is right for you. (I will say the one thing that really concerned me that you said was not knowing they removed 85% of your stomach. You definitely need to do some more research on the actual procedure. I think your wife is downplaying that part a little. Be sure to look in to and begin mentally and emotionally processing the actual surgery portion of it all. I thought I was more than prepared and had read a lot, but honestly those first few months even, I kept thinking "what the heck did I do?" I got starry-eyed at the thought of being healthy and thin and didn't really realize the potential of the needs I will have for the rest of my life.)

Best of luck with your decision.

[Babbs 14,680]

@@Heather I

You're pre op??

You GO girl!

[Babbs 14,680]

On this support site, when you say insensitive comments to one of us, you hurt all of us who struggle with our WLS journey every day. I for one have had enough of hurt.

You have absolutely not a single clue as to the struggles each of us have had to overcome. Yet here we are, trying to help anyone who asks for guidance and support.

The very LEAST you should do is honor this site for what it is---a support site full of heart bearing souls who are trying to reach out and offer you a hand of friendship and experience.

Maybe you could try to accept our words with a wee bit of grace and stop with the , "but he/said", "but I read that what you said isn't true", "if I hav to go through what you are, I would never have WLS".

On this day--MY opinion.

I'm out!

Also:

[lissybug33 4]

Daisee68 you are spot on. Thanks for your "2 cents"

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Recycled 2,182]

You're over thinking it........get the surgery and figure it out later. You'll do fine.

[NikkiDoc 312]

I am 15 months out. I used to drink at least 2 Diet Dr Peppers per day plus a large unsweetened McD's iced tea.

I don't miss the soda AT ALL.

My surgeon allowed me to have carbonated beverages and alcohol starting at 6 months after surgery.

I do have a drink occasionally. It is no longer beer. Now I will have a glass of red wine or a Fireball on the rocks.

I had a sip of my husband's Diet Dr. Pepper the other day since I had a nasty taste in my mouth. It was a small sip. It was enough to know that I don't think my sleeve would be happy with me if I drank a soda. It was too fizzy. It was enough to know I don't miss it so there is no reason to go back to drinking it.

I drink a good 80 oz of Water flavored with MIO a day. I don't want to replace any of that with something that doesn't "count" due to the caffeine or sodium.

As far as spicy I can eat anything I had before surgery. My stomach has been very tolerant. If anything it has been better now since I also no longer have GERD which I had prior to WLS.

I will have the occasional wing, as in 1 wing, if my husband gets an order. We always get the bone-in with no breading. So they aren't the healthiest from a fat perspective but they are low carb.

Only you can determine what you are willing to change and give up to no longer be obese. WLS isn't for everyone. I would NEVER recommend it to my husband. He is a meat and potatoes kinda guy. He hates fruit and eats only a couple of vegetables. He loves diet soda. He probably drinks 3 liters a day. That is all he drinks other than summer he will drink some G2 Gatorade. He likes his beer and does not drink any other alcohol. He likes bread, Pasta, waffles, Desserts, Cookies, ice cream A high Protein, lower fat, low carb diet would not work very well for him. I don't see him being able to change his diet enough to be compliant.

[bikrchk 1,313]

For me, Portion Control is exactly what I wanted and what I got with my sleeve. I tend to explain it to others in terms of, "my OFF-switch was broken and I got it fixed." I'm 2.5 years out and eat pretty much what I like when I want it, Protein first. I've maintained about a 90 pound loss since month 9. After about the first 9 months there wasn't much that didn't agree as long as I maintain small portions. Rice is one of the things that 'gets me' occasionally but I don't really consider it a loss. Spicy food doesn't bother. I don't drink with meals and don't miss it.

I drink alcohol. Not to excess but a few times per week. I THOUGHT I was okay with carbonation. Went back to diet soda after year or so. Drank it for 6 months in moderation until I realized was killing my stomach. Reflux returned and kind of burning (ulcers?). I was already taking 40mg of omeprazole 2xday. So I stopped the daily soda. Felt MUCH BETTER within about a week. Not that big a loss. Bai coconut drink makes a fine sub. You learn not to crave what makes you sick.