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Need support .. Tempted to cancel surgery



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Hi all

I am totally freaking out! My surgery is one week away and i am so tempted to cancel.

I am really scared and nervous.

I am not new to WLS, i had the band for 6 years, had complications and had it removed 12 months ago, so i have been through this process before and have an idea of what to expect kind of.

I keep asking myself the following...

- Cant i just continue Optifast to loose weight.

- what will happen 20 years down the track.

- is it necessary since i am not that big and i hold my weight well

- why go through this and get loose skin when my body is not that flabby now.

- will this cause me to have no social life as eating is a form of social and cultural get togethers.

- my hair is already falling out.... will i be bald.

And so much more. Ive researched for months and still can't imagine how much I will be able to eat n drink.

Please help... i am seriously tempted to cancel my surgery as i am petrified that ill end up with complications that I had with my band 6 years out.

Did anyone else go through this so close to surgery?

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Nobody can answer these questions perfectly for you. Everyone's body reacts differently to surgery. All I can tell you is that I have not had any complications and do not regret my sleeve at all. It was by far the best thing I have ever done for myself and I wouldn't change a thing.

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I should add my hair did fall out in clumps and it's just now starting to slow down (I'm 6.5 months post op). Thankfully I had very long thick hair to begin with so nobody has noticed except me. I don't have bald spots.

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I did have minimal hair loss the last time... but my hair was twice as thick as it is now... my hair has been falling out after i had it chemically straightened.

I know answers to these questions are a an individual thing... but i am asking myself them quite frequently.. to the point im wanting to cancel.

How are you finding things 6.5m out compared to the start?

Sent from my SM-G925I using the BariatricPal App

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You can continue to lose on Opti-fast but what's the likelihood of maintaining that weight loss? The more time you spend obese - the likelihood of comorbities will increase. I wish I did this surgery years ago (when I was at your weight - although I'm much shorter)! I feel like I've wasted years of my life think "I can do this on my own" - only to just get bigger every year. Now, I am 48 years old and have multiple comorbities. I'm miserable - always have aches and pains. I also can't stand the sight of myself any longer. My niece just had a baby and sent a picture of me holding her - well - I cried - I could not believe how giant I had become (I weight 289).

Please don't compare the Lap Band experience with Gastric Sleeve (and remember how much improved surgery is even after 6 years). Have you talked to people who have had a band to sleeve surgery? You are at a weight that you are very likely to succeed and meet goal. I worry about hair loss too (my Mom has alopecia) - but from what I'm told - it grows back. We damage our hair all the time with coloring and straightening and don't think twice. Don't let that hold you back from surgery. If you've been through all of the pre-op testing and your surgeon, nutritionist and psych agree that the surgery is necessary - then listen to them.

I know it's scary. Good luck and many prayers!

Edited by KristenLe

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Thank you... i really needed that.

I guess i know deep down that it will be a different journey to the last time... maybe i am going through the pre-surgery jitters.

I think a big part of it is that the last time i went into it completely blind and naive... so everything was new and unexpected... maybe i am too over educated about it now... and possible complications.... ah ignorance is bliss

Thank you for taking time out for me... i appreciate it

Sent from my SM-G925I using the BariatricPal App

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Your the only one that can really answer the questions because everyone's journey is so different. Based on my experience this is how I can answer your questions:

If you have been having great success on Optifast that may be the answer for you. I tried a medically supervised liquid diet like that and only lost 6 pounds in 3 months. I went off of it and ate Chinese food that weekend and gained 8 pounds.

Keeping the weight off is going to be a struggle no matter what option you choose. I'm a sweet lover and every day I have to fight off those urges even with the sleeve. It has nothing to do with hunger, it is pure cravings. If you don't make an effort you can eat around your sleeve and gain the weight back.

If you are not that big you will probably not have that much excess skin. The skin comes from loosing lots of weight and it doesn't have the elasticity to shrink back up anymore.

I was really worried about the social aspects and business dinners, but that is not a problem at all. I still go out to eat all of the time with friends and even have a glass of wine or two. (I don't do the wine very often however). I make better choices at restaurants these days, and generally only the wait staff notice that I don't eat that much. At 6 mos out I can eat about a cup of food, depending on what it is, so there is nothing to worry about socially. A lot of times I just share food with friends. It makes it cheaper that way.

I have had no hair loss so far and hoping to keep it that way. I do take the Bariatric Advantage multi Vitamins with Iron. It has Biotin in it as well. I also take 2 Calcium chews per day as well as get a minimum of 100g of Protein daily. I'm at 1000 calories per day because I work out 2 hours every day.

For me I couldn't wait to have the surgery and wish I had done it many years ago. I do realize it is a lifelong commitment and only if I stick to the diet and exercise will I be able to keep the weight off. Not sure how Optifast works these days, but if it is still all liquid can, or do you want to, stay on it the rest of your life. I like having lots of choices and the sleeve allows you to do this. Plenty of healthy options out there. All you have to do is go on Pinterest and search bariatric recipes.

Good Luck with your decision! Hope everything works out well for you.

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Thank you for the detailed reply...

I have been on Optifast for 5 days and ive lost 9lbs... which is great!

After getting the band removed ive been eating well for 12 months and doing everything "right" and still gained.. so im glad there is movement on the scales and clothes.

I guess im going to have to be a big girl now and just accept the fact that i couldn't do it on my own.

I really hope everything works out for everyone on here.

You do not understand how much your support means to me... since no one really understands what we go through on a daily basis

Sent from my SM-G925I using the BariatricPal App

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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