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To Tell Or Not to Tell



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Most of my family live 1000's of miles away. I decided not to tell anyone because I have the most negative and annoying family members. I was on a public weight loss journey before the surgery and so I figured they would just think it was from that journey. I literally decided to lose weight in November and lost 20 pounds by the new year. I had my first consult for WLS on 1/7/2016 and was approved 3/23/2016. Surgery was 4/5/2016.

I didn't even tell my 24 year old daughters who o am very close to. Only me and my husband know of my WLS. I'm not ashamed but I need support and not interviews or negative comments. When I first talked about it... I got " your crazy and your not that fat!"

Size 22, 6 feet tall and 342 pounds is fat! I had health issues and felt ashamed that I had gained over 200 pounds in 20 years.

Anyone else decide to keep WLS to restricted people in their lives?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

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Only my sister and boyfriend know so far! Once I get closer, I'll tell my parents and nieces. I have a good 6 months before I can be scheduled and it will be stressful enough without scrutiny and questions... Especially from my Mom.

Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

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My husband is the only one that knows. And I told one close friend a few days ago after I got the call that I was approved. I'm scheduled for 4/18.

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I only told 4 close friends, my husband & mother. For me, it's just a personal thing. I have so many friends who are always trying to lose weight or are so weight conscious & many of them I consider normal to thin weight. Some people can get competitive and not always be happy for your weight loss. We all have our own issues. You'll know who to share with and who not to.

Edited by theladyslipper

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I haven't told anyone. Only my husband knows. Frankly it's none of their business! Do what you think feels right and cut the negativity. dont make it harder than it already is!

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I've only told my husband, mother, and sister. That's it. Nobody else. The thing about telling people you've had weight loss surgery is that you can't un-tell them. My friend who had surgery the same day as I did, has told everyone and has text me several times in this last 3 months telling me all the horrible things people have said to her. I can just say that I've been very happy with my choice to keep my private business out of the minds and mouths of other people. When people ask how I'm losing weight, I just say low carbs, no sugar. End of conversation.

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I'm not going to tell anyone. I do have to tell some people why I'm going to the hospital for surgery. I'm going to tell them it is to repair my hiatal hernia which is true. Just leave out the sleeve part.

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I am what I am I tell anyone who asks and I own it. Best thing I ever did for myself and I'm so proud. Anyone who isn't can go to heck;-)

I meant anyone who's not proud of me not anyone who isn't proud sorry for the typo

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    • LeighaTR

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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