Spouse advice?

[sleevespouse 2]

My husband's surgery is just over two weeks away. Any advice for me to best support him through this journey? What helped you? What didn't? I want to be as helpful as possible and I obviously don't want to hinder him mentally or physically. I have found these forums to be extremely helpful. Thank you all for sharing your experiences.

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[Miss Mac 6,261]

One of the best things you can do is provide kitchen support. If you are the chief cook and bottle washer in your house, make sure you have that kitchen stocked with foods he can readily eat, like lean Proteins and green veggies. Keep in mind that dessert is now an apple, not apple pie.

Seriously, do not tempt him by eating junk in front of him. If you must indulge in something for yourself, take it to another room. Eventually he will have to develop coping skills for eating around other people who do not share his new post-op eating plan, but that comes with time.

Learn all you can about healthy post-op eating and support him in following the program laid out by his bariatric team. You are an awesome spouse for being on board. Many bariatric patients face unnecessary opposition from folks who just don't understand what a struggle this is. You are a gift.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

You're terrific, reminding me of the woman whose spouse came to a couple of lapband support group meetings because he wanted to better understand the emotional aspects. You are "sleevespouse" and he introduced himself as the 'hus-bander."

I think you're already on target. Your husband knows that you're on his side, which implies that you're up on the way he needs to drink and eat in the weeks after surgery. It's likely that he'll hit a stall after a few weeks (we've read a lot about it from other sleeve people). If it gets him down, all you can do is remind him that it's expected and his weight loss will kick in again as long as he follows directions.

Other sleeve people will probably stop by with information not in my province. Best wishes to you and your husband.

You're terrific, reminding me of the woman whose spouse came to a couple of lapband support group meetings because he wanted to better understand the emotional aspects. You are "sleevespouse" and he introduced himself as the 'hus-bander."

I think you're already on target. Your husband knows that you're on his side, which implies that you're up on the way he needs to drink and eat in the weeks after surgery. It's likely that he'll hit a stall after a few weeks (we've read a lot about it from other sleeve people). If it gets him down, all you can do is remind him that it's expected and his weight loss will kick in again as long as he follows directions.

Other sleeve people will probably stop by with information not in my province. Best wishes to you and your husband.

[67GTONUT 28]

Just the fact that you posted here...... I have no doubt you will be great support.....

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

You are awesome to ask this question.

I agree with all advice proffered above. But with this caveat: This is HIS journey. So "helpful advice and support" has to take this into account.

As my shrink so often suggests to me about how I should support my husband in his fight to conquer his own health challenges (btw, those don't include WLS): "When you're on the [HUBBY'S NAME] bus, sit down and let him drive."

BTW, my hubby was my main man during my WLS recovery and still is there for me. Mostly, he offers compliments and listens to my incessant yapping about all things WLS without telling me to STFU. And given how much I talk about WLS, that takes a lot of patience.

[sleevespouse 2]

Thank you all so much! I am so excited for him. He has endured some pre-op setbacks but has worked so incredibly hard to overcome them. I am so proud of him.

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[2goldengirl 2,076]

I heartily concur with @@VSGAnn2014's comments. I would add this: Everyone's postop journey is different. Mine has been challenging. Huz has been incredble during it all (including a readmission tot he hospital). I'm doing much better now, but when things were not going according to plan, he didn't fret and hover and wonder whether I should be doing anything differently. That's been hugely helpful to me.