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Doctors can be intimidating. It can be hard to open up to them when the issue is something that’s embarrassing and super important, which is definitely the case with obesity and weight loss surgery.

Some primary care physicians frown on weight loss surgery, and can make you feel guilty about considering it or scared to take that next step. Others can support you and give you the confidence you need to go ahead.

Bariatric surgeons can also influence you. They may talk down to you or fail to give you the time and explanations you need. This can make you feel that WLS may not be for you. Or, they can informative, helpful, and supportive. They can make you feel that WLS is something you can do.

I know people who have spoken to the first – the negative – type of doctors and surgeons and nearly given up on their ideas about WLS. Then they’ve gone to a more positive environment and decided to go through with it.

Did you have any negative-seeming doctors at first when considering WLS? What did you do? Did you just ignore them and move forward? Did you find another doctor or surgeon? Share your experiences and tips for not letting a doctor scare you off!

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Ha! Nobody scares me. :)

And no -- my PCP and my bariatric surgeon don't intimidate me. They are both awesome. They're very smart and great listeners. They invite and welcome all the questions I can come up with, which can sometimes be a lot. They never fuss at me for saying, "I read on the Internet that ...." (which could get a bit old for any professional). They're both straight shooters.

Frankly, I adore them both and think I'm so lucky to have them on my healthcare team.

One other thing -- Hubby and I are in our 70s, and a few years ago we realized we needed for all our healthcare providers to be in their 40s. We don't want to be finding and breaking in new doctors when we're in our 90s. :) So our PCP and our surgeon are both in their mid 40s. :)

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Lucky for me, my PCP was on board from the get go and was actually the one to suggest I consider WLS. I had been seeing him for a few consecutive months and even with appetite suppressant prescriptions, I still wasn't making much progress with weight loss.

My surgeon was a blessing in disguise. At my second appointment, I had gained 2 lbs. Rather than reaming me out, he stated that he was able to figure out what type of redirection I needed and understood that each of his patients respond differently. He didn't think that the "in your face" lecture would work for me, so he approached it with a gentle yet realistic reminder of why my life depended on this surgery. By the next appointment, I was down those 2 lbs, plus an additional 4. He was 100% correct about how I would respond and I appreciated his efforts in getting to know his patients on that level.

At my final appointment, he told me I was going to be his poster child and he was already so impressed with my determination that he was planning to ask me to speak at our monthly Support Groups once I was in recovery and making progress.

I've seen horror stories of some surgeon's and am very grateful mine is nothing like those.

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My surgeon has been very straightforward and easy to talk with about all aspects of my WLS.

He has been highly insightful and direct. His message has been consistent and his advice very timely.

He has been very encouraging.

I am immensely grateful for his impact on my life.

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My surgeon did not answer my questions to my satisfaction at all. He was trying to give me the 'simple 'answer when I wanted the cold hard facts. When I left his office, I really wasn't sure about continuing on with the surgery.

My PCP, however, was brilliant. She specializes in weight management, so she was extremely well informed and has a lot of bariatric patients and could provide a great deal of insight and support from the outcomes of other patients in her practice. I have loved my doctor for years and this has only sealed my decision to stay with her as long as possible.

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My PCP's understanding of bariatric surgery is that it's a "definitive treatment for obesity". She, my surgeon, and the program therapist all described me as "the ideal candidate".

That said, I'm like @VSGAnn2014. Nobody scares me.

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My GYN is also my PCP and he is actually the one who recommended the surgery to me. We tried all kinds of other methods and nothing worked. We worked out at the same gym every morning so he knew it wasn't related to lack of exercise. He and I have had a really good relationship for 8 years now.

My Surgeon is also very good. I'm not quite as comfortable around him, but I wouldn't say that he intimidates me. He helped me make an informed decision, and gave me lots of facts about the different options for WLS. I have had no complications so I haven't seen him much post op. I went for my 3 month and he said I was doing great and to come back in 6 months.

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My surgeon is one of the most awesome human beings I've ever met. I am not exaggerating. To echo VSGAnn2014, my doctor never rushes you, will sit as long as necessary to make you understand and will let you ask as many questions as you need to feel comfortable. Prior to surgery we had a long discussion about procedures . . . he laid everything out clearly and did not push me to a particular proceedure, but made it clear he had definite opinions. After surgery, when I had concerns about my rate of loss, he sat with me and went over food, activity level, etc. At one point, he asked if I understood a point he was making (it was a fairly scientific point) when I said yes, with hesitation, he told me it was his job to sit there all day with me until I understood, so I should be honest with him. He's friends with my primary care doctor and does not hesitate to get her on the phone when issues arise or just to keep her in the loop on my progress. He saw me through my VSG, my gallbladder removal, a blood cholesterol issue and now a fairly significant issue with GERD which may require a revision. He lets me cry on his shoulder when my issues become overwhelming and he cried when I walked into his office at my one year follow up appointment and handed him the medal from my first half marathon which I ran 2 days before. I am thankful every single day that this man is in my life and grateful for the life he helped me to achieve.

My one piece of advice to newbies is to find a surgeon you are comfortable with and will give you the level of support YOU need. If your first choice doesn't offer that, find someone else!

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My pcp is awesome and works with my surgeon in a capacity that is awesome I love my surgeon she is so personable and we work out with her if we need to

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Wow, these are great responses! I am so glad to hear there are so many great doctors and surgeons out there, and that you seem to be finding them! I really respect those PCPs who either already know about WLS, or who are willing to learn what they need to in order to help you, their patients, be successful. I also really respect and am grateful for the surgeons who have the integrity to be patient with their patients. They can (am some do) very easily rush you, pressure you, and keep their dealings with you to a minimum. It sounds like many of you have found surgeons who are the opposite.

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My surgeon was amazing! I was geared up expecting to be talked down to-as I have been in the past, but I didn't have that experience with my surgeon. He was kind, caring, thorough and never made me feel like I was a loser or less of a human being for being in my condition. My PCP was also amazing and she was so happy for me when I walked in her office for my yearly checkup over 100lbs lighter than last year.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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