Starting to Feel Like I Don't "Got This"....

[Sleeve Fox 0]

When I started my journey, I was very gung ho. Nailing Fluid intake, Protein, etc... of course, that was much easier when I was pre-op and could eat a chicken breast or gulp a bottle of Water. My surgery was 2/12, and while I'm giving myself time for a curve... I've taken a sharp turn into what I call "What the Deuce-ville." I STRUGGLE with my liquid intake - I don't remember the last time I hit my water goal. I can't drink much at a time, and it takes me so long to drink a simple bottle of water that it gets warm before I can finish it - and I've learned that, since surgery, I don't tolerate warm well unless it's SUPPOSED to be warm, like tea. Whatever I drink has to be ice cold. I can deal with that easily at home, but when I'm out and about? Not so much. I'm also struggling with protein, because I don't have much of an appetite (naturally.) I've unintentionally stopped taking my medication (I just forget to take it, and then when I do remember, I'm like "Meh.") I'm not consistent with Vitamins, and honestly, I'm really disappointed in myself, because I've always been on point with medication, etc in the past. But I can't muster up the urge to care. And that's not like me at ALL - to be honest, it scares me a bit. I've tried timers and alarms, but I just end up ignoring the alarms/reminders. You know what I mean. It goes off, and I'm just "Oh, I'll take care of it in a second" and then I forget or just don't do it.

I've dealt with anxiety and depression, but it's been well managed with medication for YEARS. I've heard a lot about post-op depression, and I'm beginning to wonder if that's what I'm dealing with. Has anyone else here dealt with this? If so, how did you snap yourself out of it? I don't want to be a non-compliant patient, and I don't want to fail. I WANT to care, I WANT to succeed, and I WANT to take care of myself properly. I fought hard for this surgery, and I'm grateful every day for it, even on the days when I see eating as a chore or I get frustrated when I'm out and have to figure out what the Hell to do for food. I'm a month out and have already lost 15% of my body weight, when my program expects between 25-30% 3 months out. I want to keep that up - I didn't put myself through this surgery just to lose 30 lbs and that's it, you know? Help!

[JamieLogical 8,727]

I have the same issue as you with Water post-op. It has to be ICE COLD... like with literal ice floating in it. I bought this water bottle off of Amazon and it changed my life! I fill it with ice and Water first thing in the morning and I refill it with water at work throughout the day and the ice from the morning lasts all day in it:

http://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00KOI1W14

I swear it's like a miracle.

As for your other issues. It definitely sounds like depression to me if you can't even muster the will to take your meds when your timers/alarms go off. And if some of those meds you are missing are your meds for depression, then that sounds like a pretty vicious cycle. I would advise talking to your therapist about that.

[AvaFern 3,516]

At just over a month post-op, your feelings are pretty normal. If it makes you feel better, I never took Vitamins because they made me sick and I just had my 2.5 year bloodwork done and I am completely healthy. If you take anything, go with B-12, but from personal experience, missing your Vitamins initially is not that big of a deal. If you spend the rest of your life never taking B-12, Calcium (as a woman this is important) and maybe an Iron supplement, then that's not good, but a few weeks won't hurt you.

Also, I never hit my liquid goal or my Protein goals, probably because I was self-pay so no one told me I had goals, lol. Water and liquids hurt my throat, however I accidentally drank something with a straw at 2 week post-op and it sailed straight down, I didn't feel sick, and from that point forward I used a straw to drink everything for almost 2 years. It is the one way I got enough Fluid, without feeling like I was swallowing rocks. They tell you not to use a straw because for some people it might cause gas, but for a lot of people a straw is the difference between drinking a lot and barely drinking.

Also, I understand how it feels to be sick of the whole process. I am 2.5 years out and yesterday I literally puked everything I ate, even the foods that rarely make me sick. I got a very picky sleeve, which I really don't mind because it keeps me from eating pretty much anything bad for me. Some days though when every thing I eat comes hurling right back up there are a few seconds where I think, omg, really, the rest of my life? Then I look at my size 0 butt and I think...yeah, worth it.

I was also a fairly slow loser. It took me 18 months to hit goal, which was 108 pounds from 237 to 129. The thing you have to remember is that time passes no matter what you do, so if you spend this time working hard, no matter what next year is coming either way. You can be thin or you can be fat, but really it's up to you. At 1 year post-op I was still about 30 pounds from goal and it took me 3 months to lose the last 4 pounds. It's a frustrating process. I have been at goal for 2 weeks short of a year now and all of the misery was worth it.

So, shorter version, not taking your vitamins won't hurt you in the short term, try drinking with a straw, and enjoy the feeling of not liking food- for most people it doesn't last forever.

[goplay94123 576]

You may want to try the Patches for Vitamins and put it on after your shower or before bed or whatever you do ritually.. Maybe that would help?

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Edited March 17, 2016 by goplay94123

[crazygoose 190]

I am pre-op so I can't even imagine what you're going through and it's probably not in my place to try to give you advice but I will encourage you, I just want to say don't give up on yourself, you still got this you might just have to try a different way of doing things. Maybe you can try putting bottles of Water in the freezer until they turn into solid ice and maybe carry around another bottle to pour some of the melted ice into. Anyways I wish you luck and hope you get through this.

[Sleeve Fox 0]

I am pre-op so I can't even imagine what you're going through and it's probably not in my place to try to give you advice but I will encourage you, I just want to say don't give up on yourself, you still got this you might just have to try a different way of doing things. Maybe you can try putting bottles of Water in the freezer until they turn into solid ice and maybe carry around another bottle to pour some of the melted ice into. Anyways I wish you luck and hope you get through this.

I will take any and all encouragement, and I appreciate you taking the time to do so. The idea with the Water bottles actually sounds really good, especially for the days when I'm in class for most of the day - thank you for the suggestion!

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[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I have to agree with @@AvaFern on the straw. I accidentally drank from a straw and when I didn't die or instantly explode and realized how much easier it was to get Water down, that is how I drink all my Water now. I can understand why they don't want people to use straws, you can drink a lot quickly and easily and if you are drinking calories that would be terrible, but for just water it is awesome. Just make sure you don't suck air in by accident.

If you are having problems with Protein and liquids, I would drink Protein shakes so you can kill 2 birds with one stone. When you get tried of shakes you might try to get your water/protein in harder.

Early on everything is boring and tedious and the weight loss doesn't really have that motivating wow factor yet to add to your motivation. Things really changed a lot for me at 3 months, I was 1/2 healed (my doctor said at 6 months you are fully healed an that really seems to be the case, 6 months was a huge change), and I could drink a lot more, faster and I could add more variety to my food.

I know it sounds patronizing but stick with it, it gets better.

[Sleeve Fox 0]

That doesn't sound patronizing at all - it was actually encouraging to know that it's going to get better. I do rely on Protein shakes, especially in the morning, to help me. Unfortunately I'm going through one of those phases where anything milk oriented (even almond milk) makes me want to gag. I'm still getting them down because I know I have to, but not using them as much as I can because my stomach wants to revolt, lol.

I did order the Vitamin Patches to use at least until I'm back in a regular habit of taking pills again (sometimes when I do take them, my stomach gets mad about it and I'm nauseous for an hour). I'm going to talk to my doctors about all of this - I'm determined to get myself straightened out.

I'm going to try using straws - I drank out of one the other day when I was out with hubby and didn't die. The camelback bottles I loved so much pre-op now hurt my chest. I know in theory that everything is going to change and get better the further out I get and my issues are just a normal post-op freak out as I adjust to my "new normal." But dang, emotions and brain, can you cut a girl some slack?!

Thank you so much to those who have taken the time to respond. Your reassurances and suggestions have helped tremendously!

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[reree6898 1,164]

Try a yeti cup for Water. The thing is amazing, it will keep ice for 12+ hours! I was a skeptic at first but love mine now. Also with the Protein Drinks, I found if I put it over ice and drink it with a straw it helps.

Edited March 18, 2016 by reree6898

[Muted_Tummy 29]

No one has mentioned yet the hormones your fat cells are releasing. Some of this funk may be estrogen related...all the more reason to drink fluids to help liver flush it all out. Prior to surg did pms really impact mood for you?

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[jane13 2,256]

@@Sleeve Fox - are you taking the Vitamins on an empty stomach? I cant or I will feel nauseous. Make sure if you are spacing some of the Vitamins out because certain ones interfere with the others and cause issues.

I think you are still working through your new "normal" and you have "got this".

Good luck.

[Sleeve Fox 0]

No one has mentioned yet the hormones your fat cells are releasing. Some of this funk may be estrogen related...all the more reason to drink fluids to help liver flush it all out. Prior to surg did pms really impact mood for you?

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Moods have never really been an issue for me during my cycle - all of my issues are physical (heavy bleeding and horrible cramping.)

I was able to re-start the pill yesterday. Maybe that will help even me out again, although I've been doing much better lately.

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[Sleeve Fox 0]

@@Sleeve Fox - are you taking the Vitamins on an empty stomach? I cant or I will feel nauseous. Make sure if you are spacing some of the Vitamins out because certain ones interfere with the others and cause issues.

I think you are still working through your new "normal" and you have "got this".

Good luck.

I've tried both ways. I was taking the Journey vitamins (3+3 chewables) which are just 3 in the morning and 3 in the evening. No matter how I took them, or any of the others, they made me really nauseous. Since I've switched to the Patches (I'm going to do these for a month and then go to capsules) I've been fine - no nausea, etc.

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[jane13 2,256]

@@Sleeve Fox - I did generic childrens + Iron chewables for the first few months.