Online dating has been an adventure. I recently thought I had met someone truly compatible. After 2 months, he tells me (in a text, btw) that he thinks we should both move on. None of the reasons he gave made sense and I could tell he was holding something back. Finally, he typed the words "I have never been with a heavy woman." I was stunned as we had been intimate several times and he commented that it was the best ever in his life, etc. I have lost 15 lbs since we started dating and 82 lbs total. He knows about my surgery and that I am shrinking. While I know I will get over this, I feel defeated and frustrated.

No soapbox...but a smiley face doesn't make an insult funny.

Sent from my KFJWI using the BariatricPal App

But someone incorrectly declaring something as an insult doesn't make it an insult.

@@4MRB4PHOTO

I'd happily send you the grey persian that has been scratching up my loveseat!

Thanks for the offer, we already have a rescue cat that likes to scratch up our furniture too.

Edited March 8, 201610 yr by 4MRB4PHOTO

Ok in my universe implying, not so indirectly that women use their bodies to get money is an insult. While it is obviously true of some it certainly isn't of most ... so is the fact that men use their strength to rape and intimidate a good topic to toss out there?. Would a smiley face make that funny? If so well I guess that says alot.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Ok in my universe implying, not so indirectly that women use their bodies to get money is an insult. While it is obviously true of some it certainly isn't of most ... so is the fact that men use their strength to rape and intimidate a good topic to toss out there?. Would a smiley face make that funny? If so well I guess that says alot.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Taking women to restaurants and other places out on dates, buying them presents and flowers costs a few coins.

Nothing more in what I wrote, nothing less.

To compare what I wrote to rape? FYI, I know someone who was raped, I would never write anything that could even be misconstrued as a joke about that.

Wow, you have some serious anger issues that need to be addressed.

Good thing I didn't tell you to "get off your high horse" in an earlier post, you probably would have compared that to animal cruelty.

Give it a break, you are wrong in how you interpreted what I wrote. There are bigger causes out there for you to champion.

Take a deep breath and try to have a good day.

Ok in my universe implying, not so indirectly that women use their bodies to get money is an insult. While it is obviously true of some it certainly isn't of most ... so is the fact that men use their strength to rape and intimidate a good topic to toss out there?. Would a smiley face make that funny? If so well I guess that says alot.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using the BariatricPal App

Taking women to restaurants and other places out on dates, buying them presents and flowers costs a few coins.

Nothing more in what I wrote, nothing less.

To compare what I wrote to rape? FYI, I know someone who was raped, I would never write anything that could even be misconstrued as a joke about that.

Wow, you have some serious anger issues that need to be addressed.

Good thing I didn't tell you to "get off your high horse" in an earlier post, you probably would have compared that to animal cruelty.

Give it a break, you are wrong in how you interpreted what I wrote. There are bigger causes out there for you to champion.

Take a deep breath and try to have a good day.

your original post was out of line. This isn't Penthouse... and I'm not a prude.

@RILEYSMOM22 - I would chalk it up as a dating experience and move on...

Maybe he felt uncomfortable with the fact that you are still losing and that you would be too smokin' hot for him and he wouldn't be able to keep you!

I would love more cats but sadly only can have two. As far as that dude goes, he is going to be missing out! Wait until he sees you at your goal and let him come crawling back.

They censored the word "pu$$y". Actually using dollar signs is not that far off base sometimes.

You rascal. Double rascal.

A slight misspelling will get anything past the nudnik censors. An extra final letter, e.g. Same goes for the switch to blue font for sales links.

@@sjdtx, @@CowgirlJane --

Just saw your notes. I was oblivious, thinking the reference was simply to dollar signs passing censorship. The meaning went right by me. It is a little locker room.

Ah, I'm sorry - yeah, that dude was just looking for an out for whatever reason, and would've hit you with anything that seemed like a viable excuse in his head to make it your fault. You're beautiful and you deserve better!

As for the cats, well, over the summer I met a great guy. I thought he liked me back. Around that time, I found a very tiny kitten and was hand raising it. He was playing with the kitten and about to head out for work so I knew I wouldn't see him for a while (he was military) and instead of just saying, "Will you be coming back or is this it?" I said, "So I'm kind of at that intersection where I either need a relationship or more cats to keep this guy company."

He puts his arm around me, says, "Don't get more cats...you're a great girl, you'll find someone."

To add insult to injury, not 20 minutes after he left my neighbor's granddaughter showed up at my front door with another stray.

I'm glad he dumped you, and I'm glad he did it that way and I will tell you why...

He is obviously extremely ignorant, and I emphasize the "extremely" part!

Let this be a lesson and let it help you continue to grow. "Fat" women should accept no less than what any other woman should accept, and some women I know settle too low and set that bar way too low. Heck, our entire society sets the bar way too low for men and for women and when they get together they just expect "magic" to happen or something.

This is going to make you stronger. And this is possibly going to prepare you to love even better for when Mr. Right does come along. It is one thing to help your mate through struggles, it's another to completely expect them to make the relationship work and let them resolve all the issues alone for the two of you. That is not love. You didn't have anything remotely similar to love and I hope you know that.

You are going to find it, however! Through suffering brings great joy and it will be yours! There are many beautiful men in this world who will understand your life, your struggles and your hopes. And you will understand his, and you will be best friends and have true love.

Edited March 10, 201610 yr by Amelie2016

Im sorry that happened. But you can't blame online dating for that. That's just dating in general.

The next guy will be better

@@Amelie2016, somehow I don't see being kicked in the gut an uplifting, revelatory way to learn any sort of lesson for the future. There are ways far more considerate and graceful to back off from a person without first going in for the kill.

Oh my. I met a guy a long time ago. I had weighed 245 and was down to 213 so I was feeling decent about myself. We met online, chatted, and went on a few dates. I just was NOT that into him so I told him. He then starts telling me that he was the one doing me a favor because he normally dated thin, beautiful women. Dude, please. I met my hubby on eHarmony when I was at my heaviest. He loved me then at almost 300 pounds and loves me now.

@@AnA92212, that dude was having a defensive tantrum, aiming for, well, the tender spot.

This reminds me of a man I met long ago. We spoke a few times, had good conversation, he ws intelligent, witty, we had common interests. The meeting was disappointing. When he asked if I'd like to spend the night at his apartment (!), I very nicely (really) declined, "No, thank you, I think I should go home..." He saw me to a taxi and was cooing and a tad touchy-feely while we waited for one to pull up. A moment after I walked in to my apartment, the phone rang. He apparently got that I was being more than "lady-like." He was calling to say that he didn't want to pursue anything, as he felt pressured, that I already thought we were a couple. How he arrived at that from a kind variation on, "No, fella, I'm outta here."