Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Desperate cry for help...



Recommended Posts

This week it'll be 5 years since my surgery. I was 265 before my RNY and my lowest weight was 185-190. I stepped on the scale yesterday and I'm 215.

The doctor/nurses croon when I had my surgery were never helpful and never helped after surgery with what I needed to do. supplements, food, nothing. They told me I could eat tums for my Calcium.< /p>

I have books, and the Internet, but for every thing I find "to" do, something else says not to do that or take that.

I badly need help. With everything. Is there a way to find someone to be like a sponsor or something? That I can talk to one on one to help me figure out what I need to do/take/eat/avoid and help answer questions if I have any? I'm going to look for support groups, but in the mean time... I don't want to wait to get back on track.

Are there any fb groups or anything? Anyone who can point me in the right direction?

I don't take any supplements, Vitamins, or anything. Any time I'd get what I thought I needed, I would be told it's the wrong thing. Always got the wrong snack /meal... Eventually, I got tired of wasting my money. Now I'm paying for it.

Please tell me not all is lost and I had the surgery for nothing... That I can turn things around... That it's not too late...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This week it'll be 5 years since my surgery. I was 265 before my RNY and my lowest weight was 185-190. I stepped on the scale yesterday and I'm 215.

The doctor/nurses croon when I had my surgery were never helpful and never helped after surgery with what I needed to do. supplements, food, nothing. They told me I could eat tums for my Calcium.

I have books, and the Internet, but for every thing I find "to" do, something else says not to do that or take that.

I badly need help. With everything. Is there a way to find someone to be like a sponsor or something? That I can talk to one on one to help me figure out what I need to do/take/eat/avoid and help answer questions if I have any? I'm going to look for support groups, but in the mean time... I don't want to wait to get back on track.

Are there any fb groups or anything? Anyone who can point me in the right direction?

I don't take any supplements, Vitamins, or anything. Any time I'd get what I thought I needed, I would be told it's the wrong thing. Always got the wrong snack /meal... Eventually, I got tired of wasting my money. Now I'm paying for it.

Please tell me not all is lost and I had the surgery for nothing... That I can turn things around... That it's not too late...

Not all is lost.

It is not too late.

You can turn things around.

I was sleeved so can share what works for me, but you probably need to talk with folks who have had bypass for more insight.

Here are the critical success factors to look for:

Find a good bariatric NUT so you can discuss your specific goals and needs.

Track your food. (I use MyFitnessPal.)

Drink at least 64 oz of water/fluid a day.

Find out what your Protein target is and eat at least that amount every day. Mine is 100 grams. 80-100 grams would be a good ballpark to aim for until you can talk to a NUT about your specific needs.

Take your Vitamins and supplements. Again, a bariatric NUT and/or someone who has had RNY can help with developing a Vitamin regimen. At a minimum make sure you are taking: a Multivitamin, D3, Calcium, B1, B12, C, K, and Iron.

Get your blood tested regularly to check your blood levels. This will also help you determine what vitamins you need to take.

For bypass, don't drink and eat at the same time.

Eat Protein first.

Eat slowly and mindfully.

Avoid starches and added sugars.

Exercise regularly.

This is a great site for support, so participating on this site will help you keep your head in the game.

You also may want to see if you can find a good counselor or therapist, attend bariatric support groups, and/or 12-step recovery groups like OA.

A good book you may want to read is Eat it Up! by Connie Stapleton. She also posts on this site so you may want to read her posts here, too.

You have already had some great success without guidance, so with some structure you should do great!

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

This week it'll be 5 years since my surgery. I was 265 before my RNY and my lowest weight was 185-190. I stepped on the scale yesterday and I'm 215.

The doctor/nurses croon when I had my surgery were never helpful and never helped after surgery with what I needed to do. Supplements, food, nothing. They told me I could eat tums for my calcium.

I have books, and the Internet, but for every thing I find "to" do, something else says not to do that or take that.

I badly need help. With everything. Is there a way to find someone to be like a sponsor or something? That I can talk to one on one to help me figure out what I need to do/take/eat/avoid and help answer questions if I have any? I'm going to look for support groups, but in the mean time... I don't want to wait to get back on track.

Are there any fb groups or anything? Anyone who can point me in the right direction?

I don't take any supplements, vitamins, or anything. Any time I'd get what I thought I needed, I would be told it's the wrong thing. Always got the wrong snack /meal... Eventually, I got tired of wasting my money. Now I'm paying for it.

Please tell me not all is lost and I had the surgery for nothing... That I can turn things around... That it's not too late...

Not all is lost.

It is not too late.

You can turn things around.

I was sleeved so can share what works for me, but you probably need to talk with folks who have had bypass for more insight.

Here are the critical success factors to look for:

Find a good bariatric NUT so you can discuss your specific goals and needs.

Track your food. (I use MyFitnessPal.)

Drink at least 64 oz of water/fluid a day.

Find out what your protein target is and eat at least that amount every day. Mine is 100 grams. 80-100 grams would be a good ballpark to aim for until you can talk to a NUT about your specific needs.

Take your vitamins and supplements. Again, a bariatric NUT and/or someone who has had RNY can help with developing a Vitamin regimen. At a minimum make sure you are taking: a Multivitamin, D3, calcium, B1, B12, C, K, and Iron.< /p>

Get your blood tested regularly to check your blood levels. This will also help you determine what vitamins you need to take.

For bypass, don't drink and eat at the same time.

Eat protein first.

Eat slowly and mindfully.

Avoid starches and added sugars.

Exercise regularly.

This is a great site for support, so participating on this site will help you keep your head in the game.

You also may want to see if you can find a good counselor or therapist, attend bariatric support groups, and/or 12-step recovery groups like OA.

A good book you may want to read is Eat it Up! by Connie Stapleton. She also posts on this site so you may want to read her posts here, too.

You have already had some great success without guidance, so with some structure you should do great!

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@_Laura_

I would be happy to share my experience and knowledge. If you are interested, message me directly. I have some ideas that might help get you started.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@_Laura_. No all is not lost, it's pretty common that there were not good post-op support programs years ago. If the truth be told some programs are still better than others. You have about 30 pounds to lose to get back to where you were. That's doable and it begins with going back to the basics of weight loss with RNY. First, I would recommend accepting if this is something you are ready to do and follow the advice of the ladies above. We are all here for support at different stages in our journey but it's a lifelong journey none the less. I am also here for your support if you need it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@_Laura_ I'm pre-op (March 21st), so I can't say as I relate exactly to what you are going through, but there are a couple of things I wanted to share.

First off, you can do this. I totally can relate to the fear of regain as it's something a lot of us worry about (even pre-op!). But you have only 30 pounds to your lowest weight. That's a heck of a lot better than 80-100 pounds! And break it down it it helps, shoot to take off just 15. You would have to feel pretty good if you were only 10-15 pounds over your lowest weight 5 years out, and that's just 15 pounds away!

I second what others said about getting your blood work. Get blood work done by someone with experience with RNY. If you don't know one, call a local bariatric doctor and explain your situation and ask for a referral. From there they should be able to advise you on Vitamins you need no problem.

Lastly, I completely hear you on conflicting information on the web. In fact, every doctor approaches nutrition differently it seems. Being a professional dieter, I have read every "theory" of dieting over the years, and it is always so conflicting. That being said, I can tell you that my doctor has authored a book called "Pound of Cure" (you can find it on Amazon, it's very inexpensive). This is the diet he wants me to follow for life. I started it just about 4 weeks ago, and have taken off 35 pounds in that time. It is based on primarily eating fruits, veggies and Protein (with emphasis on non-animal Protein, although he absolutely allows animal protein everyday if you desire). There is no calorie counting, and you never need to be hungry. If you're hungry, eat veggies or fruit. In fact, he suggests at least one pound of veggies a day, and prefers two. That's a lot of food!

Is this the best diet? I have no idea, but I imagine that eating a lot of fruits, vegetables and legumes really can't be bad for me. I'm never hungry, and it works. The hardest part about this diet is being prepared. It's not easy to just grab something on the go aside from a salad (with no dressing). If you are interested, you can go to his website, he has a lot of videos on this particular diet where he explains he views. The videos are well done and very interesting IMHO. Just google Dr. Matthew Weiner in West Bloomfield, MI.

Best of luck, and keep checking in so we know how you're doing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Does your Bariatric team have any follow up support and or education after surgery? I guessing I would be lost too if they weren't there for me. Please seek out a bariatric nutritionist for help.

Sent from my LGL16C using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@_Laura_,

I don't see where you have posted anything since your initial post. How are you doing? Have you been able to find the help you need?

Let us know how you are doing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had the RNY done. I stopped loosing and regained 20lbs, my blood pressure went up. I'm sure this you understand.

They scoped me and found that for what ever reason my new pouch opened and reattached to my main stomach. They say that I'm one in thousands that this happens to.

I will be going in August 2 for revision surgery, same thing, RNY.

I am sure with the right doctor you will find out what is wrong.

I have new doctor and hospital. I am here if you need support.

Sent from my LGLS770 using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I could have written your post myself! My doctor actually got fired a month after my surgery, and then the nurse practitioner left to go to another hospital. I had a one year check up with a doctor I had never met, then I was left to flounder on my own. I had initially lost 60 lbs (not great) and have gained almost 40 back. If you need a buddy, message me! Maybe we can figure out some of this crazy stuff together!

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×