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First of all, I'd like to thank everyone that has had the surgery and posts here. It has been so helpful and cemented my commitment to getting the gastric sleeve. My surgery date is April 7th! Eek! Anyway, I have a bunch of random questions, and I'd appreciate your help!

1. For those of you who are married, or in a serious relationship, how did the surgery effect your relationship. (I am married to an amazing man who supports me 100%, but I worry how our relationship will change as I change)

2. Did you tell your work, friends and family? If not, how do you explain your diet and weight loss? (I am only telling my husband and two close friends. I am telling everyone else I got my gallbladder out)

3. Do you have very saggy skin? (I'm 264 lbs, 5'6, 44 DDD and 31 yrs old. I am super nervous about my stomach and breasts. The nurse told me many people regret having the surgery because their skin is so saggy)

4. How much hair did you lose? (It seems so vain, but I have super thin hair as it is and I don't want to be bald! I've already started Vitamins, including Biotin, and I will start using Aveda thinning hair treatment after surgery.

5. For those of you who have active jobs, how was returning to work? (I am a first grade teacher and am planning on returning to work 11 days after surgery.)

6. What is the worst part of the recovery process? What is the best part of having the surgery?

I have a ton more questions, but I'll wave it at this for now!! Thank you so much!

Sent from my iPhone using BariatricPal

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1. If you have a strong relationship, it may change, but in a good way. Believe me when I tell you, after being married for 27 years, change in a relationship is normal and natural. The key is how both of you adapt to it.

2. I told everyone. When strangers find out I've lost 95 pounds, if I don't feel like telling them, I simply say I eat less, cut most carbs and sugar, and excersise more. Which is true ;)

3. I carried most of my weight in my stomach along with having 2 very large babies, so my tummy area is pretty rough. Went from a 44DDD to a 36C, so they point to the floor. I don't regret this surgery for a second. A little loose skin never killed anyone. Being morbidly obese will.

4. You won't be bald. Most hair loss is not even noticeable to other people besides you and your hairdresser. Keep doing what you're doing to hopefully minimize it. I stated losing at around 4 months and continued until about 10 months. At 18 months out, it's growing back well. The texture has changed, but it looks healthy now.

5. 2-3 weeks seems to be the norm to return to work with active jobs. I am a Realtor, and I was showing houses a week after surgery. But that's not hard, lol. The fatigue will probably be the worse part going back.

6. Worst part of recovery was the reflux I personally experienced post surgery. Not everyone does, but I did. I was kept on liquids for 6 weeks straight post op. Otherwise it was a fairly easy recovery.

The best part?

Feeling like I'm in my 30's when i'm actually in my late 40's.

Wearing a size 6.

Not taking medications anymore to control obesity related diseases.

food not having total control over me anymore.

Looking better than I have in years.

Having more energy.

Should I go on??

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Thank you so much for taking the time to respond!!! A lot of good things come from the surgery :). I'm most looking forward to crossing my legs! (And easily painting my toe nails, and shopping in normal stores... And so many more). Thanks again.

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1. My marriage is more exciting and fun now! Being 80lbs heavier really kept me from enjoying doing any kinds of activities with my husband and kids. Most times I would just sit back and watch them have all the fun. Now I can keep up and more!

2. I wanted to keep it a secret and tried to in the beginning. I would tell people who asked what I was doing that I was eating 6 small meals, no sugar and doing lots of exercise - all true! About 4 months after my surgery I decided to just tell the whole truth. Reasons being... I felt too bad not being completely honest especially to people who had weight problems themselves and... I feel really proud of myself and dont care so much what others think anymore. It took me awhile to get to this point though. I have always had issues with worrying about people judging me. I have had nothing but possitive comments and praise from everyone ive told!

3. My loose skin isnt too bad. Maybe I will feel different in the summer when im wearing less clothing. My arms bother me the most. They are very jiggly! I actually prefer the loose skin on my stomach to when it was SO big and hard and always in the way. My boobs... lets just say they are pretty sad

looking! Push up bras help! For me, the loose skin beats how unhealthy and huge I was.

4. I was really nervous about loosing my hair too. I was very lucky and didnt

have any noticible Hair loss. I took biotine up till a few weeks ago.

5. I agree with Babbs that the hardest part will most likely be feeling tired. Also trying to focus on your Water and meals and eating slow is crucial. I run a home daycare and I took only one week off and then I had my mother help me all day for 2 weeks. I was lucky to have her help and could go lay down and rest when I needed to. She had to force me to take the time to sit down and eat mindfully which would have been hard to do with my busy job of taking care of alot of little ones.

6. Worst part of my recovery was also reflux. It was bad! I dont think its too common though. Also being constipated wasnt fun. Overall my recovery was better than I thought it would be though.

The best parts...

im full of energy

no more sleep apnea

no more aching legs

my size 10s are baggy

can participate in and enjoy life

can cross my legs

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1. I haven't noticed a change in the relationship.

2. I only told a few select people, everyone thinks I'm doing paleo diet and stopped drinking (which I kinda am). I've been a yoyo dieter for many years, so people are used to me loosing/ gaining.. But this time there will be no rebound weight gain

3. Skin is ok so far, arms are not great... But I am loosing slowly. If my boobs sag and my skin becomes problematic I plan to get plastic surgery

4. I've only just started noticing hair loss at 4months, it's not much yet.. I don't have much hair so I hope it doesn't continue.. Again I'm loosing slowly so I hope I avoid this

5. I'm a nurse, I returned after 4 weeks.. I had to be careful with lifting but otherwise my energy was good.. I went back 3 days a week for first 2weeks back.

6.worst part was my 3 week purée phase.. Just wanted to crunch on some real food. I had minimal pain/ discomfort. My nausea in first 48hrs post op was epic but quickly forgotten with all the positives from the weight loss.

My weight loss is slow 1-2pd per week, but I have never stalled and my energy has been good..

I think your attitude is very important to keep in check.. You have to follow the rules and put trust in the professionals and your body... We abuse our body's for so long pre op but now is the time to be kind and gentle and trust your body.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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