Losing friends...

[munchkincan 0]

No, you are up 100%. The other girl is the one who lost a friend. You have to feel sorry for someone that won't stand by you when you are making the most healthy decision of your life.

Let her go. Give all your time and energy to yourself and your good friend. You will make more friends.

Good Luck to you with the band.

[munchkincan 0]

My best friend decided to do this with me. My surgery is Aug 1 and hers is August 6. We are not only best friends we will be best band friends. The only problem we are having is trying to figure out what we will do now that we won't be having 2 hour lunches. We go to dinner a lot also. Our hubby's travel a lot.

[NanaRenan 0]

Congrats on your approval Nana!

Thanks! I still can't believe it and was totally too wired to sleep!!!

[becky42 0]

My best friend is being a real pain in the butt! My surgery is Monday 7/30/07, and she has asked really smart--- questions. She has asked things like "Will your stomach blow up if you have a Coke?" She did this for a few days and then my favorite came when my husband was on line making changes to his 401k and asked me something. She was sitting right there in front of us both and said, "It doesn't matter, you're not going to live long enough to worry about it!" I was absolutely taken aback. My husband is 48 yrs old and nothing wrong with him. It really upset me. Up until that point my husband thought her smart remarks were "in my head".

Quite frankly, I've decided that people who don't offer me support through this - simply won't be on my list. It's kind of like a 12 step program, you don't need the negativity.

[beckett 0]

I haven't officially lost any friends yet, but I think I will lose one in a matter of time. She was totally supportive. She even went with me to surgery ( I had to travel 6hrs each way). She would always say things like "when you get skinny you'll be so hot", but now that I have started to loose the weight she never even bothers to call. It makes me wonder if she liked who she thought I was going to become and not who I really am. I guess oh well.

I have however had several people at work who once they found out I had the band are very interested in learning about it. They are considering it and are very supportive. I think most of them understand the need for the band and what it means to loose the weight.

[Ariel 1]

I'm afraid that I am losing my best friend. We used to talk almost every day online, but now we hardly every do and when we do it seems really strained. I think the problem is when we got together all we did is dinner and either shopping and a movie. And for like a week before we would lust over the thought of the resturant. We would go online and look at the menus and talk about what to get. But now the food really dosen't interest me. And when we go out i want to do something active not just a movie. I realize that i have changed and she is the same as ever. Wow just writing this makes me feel better. I know that I am making the right choices but i hate to leave her behind.

[cookielover 1]

You are so sweet and I am going to take you up on your offer! I need all the support I can get.:becky:

[cookielover 1]

Foot note...

I am ending the relationship with my friend, but not due to my lapband.

A sad story: the other day I was at the mall with my friend who is overweight and her daughter is 400 pounds + ( I only mention this because I think it is important to the story...) All three of us were walking out of the mall, and this thin women was walk pasted us walking into the mall. My friend's daughter yelled to the thin women, "How is the anorexia going? Is it working out for ya?" The thin women had not done anything to provoke this comment. She had not stared. glared, or paid any attention to us. Then my friend started laughing like a bully laughs at this poor women's expense. I so angry at my friend. If the table had been reversed and the thin women had made a comment to my friend and her daughter I would have stood up for them like nobodies business. So, I did the same for the thin woman. I spun around and said in a firm voice, "what are you guys doing? That was so called for, and mean!" To which the daughter replied, "Oh, like you weren't thinking it." and then my friend chimmed in, "Yeah." Right then and there I knew it was over. I would never tolerate someone belittling a person who was overweight, but it goes both ways. Maybe some people would disagree with me, but my morals say, "this is not right, and way wrong." So I am the biggest loser I haven't even started dieting yet and I lost over 700 pounds and I feel so much better!

[miminms 0]

Amy, what a great story! You are going to be just fine. I like the way you think!

I wish you so much success. Tues. will be 6 wks. post-op for me and I am so thankful that I did this for myself. I have lost 34 lbs so far and I feel so much better I can't even begin to express it! You will have many new friends right here among all the "bandsters"...count me in! This board has helped me so much and will help you also!

[BlueEyedBaby 0]

My BF in Florida had gastric bypass and even though the complications around her surgery caused me to take a different route, she was my inspiration for this surgery. I was so happy and proud for her. She started out about 4 sizes larger than me and is now 3 sizes smaller. And I am so proud of her. I really miss her a lot since we moved back to Tn and I sure could use her right now (banded 7/27). Point is, as her friend I was there every step of the way. I was shocked when she first told me she was having the surgery but as a nurse, I did some research and decided it was best for her as I did not like to see her unhappy and unhealthy. And although we are several states away from each other, I still consider her my BF. I haven't established a BF here yet even though this is where I was raised. I am the type person who has very few REAL friends but am as loyal as anyone could ever be to the few I have. My old friends have mostly moved on and although we are still friends, I miss her true companionship. We spent nearly every day together and that is what I really miss. But as a friend goes, she is very happy for me to have had this surgery. I really feel for you dear, but don't loose sleep over ppl who are not willing to accept change. Give them time, they may come around.

[Kathy1991 0]

Hi Amy, I am just now getting into the process to be banded. I have my insurance all figured out and am attending a session for lapband on Friday. I confided in a friend of mine and she was very strange to me. It was one of those instinctive feelings of 'disapproval'. She and I have tried to lose weight together before and like other folks here, she's been an eating buddy. I haven't even gotten very far and I feel like I am already getting 'push' from some folks. I loved the idea of trying to find someone local to get to know that has had the band.

Take care!!!

Kathy

in NC

[kacee 3]

That's a CLASSIC case of "hurt them before they hurt me." And it is pathetic. If that is the level to which your friends sink to make themselves feel better, you are not losing anything at all. That is absolutely appalling.

[azmensan 1]

Cookie Lover, you're 33. By now you've probably learned how to really pick your friends and who is truly a friend and who's just a buddy for whom you fill esome kind of purpose. You already know if your heart who's going to desert you and who won't.

[wendy645 1]

<snip> So I am the biggest loser I haven't even started dieting yet and I lost over 700 pounds and I feel so much better!

SEVEN HUNDRED?

As for me, I have a feeling that my friendships will stay the same. I have 3 best friends and 1 good one that used to be a best friend before a fight over something stupid.

One BFF is my size now and would consider the band if her mom hadn't tried to force a GBP on her a couple years ago, now she's got this mental block on it. And I don't blame her; her mom's evil. But we've talked about it and she supports me.

Another BFF lives across the country and is dealing with bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and is extremely wary of anything foreign in the body. She was scared for me when I got an IUD. But she wholeheartedly supports me in losing weight and becoming healthy. I'll tell her after the fact.

The last BFF is my thinspiration. She's my height, but a dancer. She's also a mom of 2 with c-sections. She has a pooch but is muscular otherwise. I figure if all goes well I could strive to look like her. She is a great girl who doesn't even see my size. At all. To her I'm just her Wendy. She's moving and I'm keeping this under wraps, and I think I'm going to surprise her

The former best friend has struggled with her weight for years. I'm not telling her (I don't think) but she'll support me. She always has something positive to say even when I'm feeling frumpy fat and ugly.

They're pretty much the only friends I have, besides co-workers (who won't know unless I'm successful as all get out, then I'll tell the world I think LOL)

Other than that, my boyfriend and mom both support me, and I'm not afraid of how either will react in the future. Chris has never been concerned about my body (well, he does love my boobies lol) size-wize, just as long as I'm healthy, which is why he supports me. And he knows that this would make me happy, which would make him happy.

All in all, I think I'm alucky one :-) Of course, time will tell if I'm right. I should bookmark this reply and come back when I'm all thin and shapely and see if things have changed LOL:whoo:

[KtKt 0]

Foot note...

I am ending the relationship with my friend, but not due to my lapband.

A sad story: the other day I was at the mall with my friend who is overweight and her daughter is 400 pounds + ( I only mention this because I think it is important to the story...) All three of us were walking out of the mall, and this thin women was walk pasted us walking into the mall. My friend's daughter yelled to the thin women, "How is the anorexia going? Is it working out for ya?" The thin women had not done anything to provoke this comment. She had not stared. glared, or paid any attention to us. Then my friend started laughing like a bully laughs at this poor women's expense. I so angry at my friend. If the table had been reversed and the thin women had made a comment to my friend and her daughter I would have stood up for them like nobodies business. So, I did the same for the thin woman. I spun around and said in a firm voice, "what are you guys doing? That was so called for, and mean!" To which the daughter replied, "Oh, like you weren't thinking it." and then my friend chimmed in, "Yeah." Right then and there I knew it was over. I would never tolerate someone belittling a person who was overweight, but it goes both ways. Maybe some people would disagree with me, but my morals say, "this is not right, and way wrong." So I am the biggest loser I haven't even started dieting yet and I lost over 700 pounds and I feel so much better!

What's the matter with people... that just FLOORS me! I wouldn't feel badly about losing those 700 pounds, for sure!

I just can't believe it...and how SAD that "mom" condoned it... I would have slapped my kid silly... Really, it was bad enough the girl said it... but MOM!

arghhhhhhhhhhhh!:faint: