Question for those who've chosen not to share their WLS

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Lol. Yes it is! Hubby just got home and I was jumping up and down as I was telling him everything, As soon as he heard the two dates he interrupted me and said "Take the earlier one. Look at you, you're ready, and you're going to go insane waiting a month longer than you have to!" He pointed out that it isn't my plan to hide my surgery forever, so the family will find out at some point. He suggested we just tell his mom for now, ask her not to say anything, and if it leaks out, it leaks out.

He's right. As usual (its kind of annoying really).

So tomorrow I will call the office and tell them I'd like the January 25th date!

Great husband!!!!The quicker the better!Congratulations!

[QuilterGal 216]

I say take the earlier date and tell the in-laws. You can ask them to keep it to themselves, but if it slips out, I don't think it will be a huge deal. I have yet to have anyone judge me to my face or say anything nasty about my decision. I have received OVERWHELMING support from family, friends, and coworkers. The people who love you only want you to be healthy and happy. Those who don't want you to be healthy and happy are not worth your time and energy.

[CHM 1,011]

I just wanted to let you guys know that I did tell my mother-in-law, and as I mostly expected she was very supportive. She promised to keep it to herself until I'm ready to share further. No interrogation, not even a question. She said that she knows I'm a smart woman and have surely done my research, and if this is what I feel is best for me then she's confident I'm making the right choice. As for my concerns about others, she said that when it comes out later if anyone has anything to say about it she'll tell them herself that its already done and its not their business. "Its not like anyone else runs their decisions on how to handle their medical issues by YOU, so why should you have to explain yourself to them?"

I love that woman. <3

[slimntrimshel 18]

Awesome response from mom in law! Only a few more days!!!

[Sajijoma 1,324]

I have chosen not to tell too many people. My husband and I talked through my decision and he was on board although reluctant. I told my best friend since high school because I needed the moral support and I told my SIL because I needed her natural cheerleader self on my team. I also told my college roommate because she had already had the surgery and I wanted to pick her brain for info on if it was the right move. About a week before surgery I got nervous and told my Inlaws because I wanted to have a plan in place Incase God forbid, I didn't make it. They were all really supportive. Since surgery, I've told 3 more people who were curious about my extreme weightloss and tiny meals. It's been hard. I wanted to keep it an utter secret, but I didn't want to lie either, so I just tell people as the need arises. So far, everyone has been really supportive of my decision except my brotherinlaw who is a body builder and trainer and just thinks I could try harder somehow. It's a mixed bag I guess. Over time, you may find yourself explaining to a lot of people or trying to find excuses to cover yourself, but I think it's preferred to telling everyone up front and listening to them feed you with horror stories. I told everyone I was having a hernia repaired and got enough hernia repair nightmares to make me glad I didn't actually have one! lol

[CHM 1,011]

Yeah, I think I'm going to take this on a case by case basis as questions come up. I'm the worst liar - I turn bright red and avert my eyes - couldn't do it well if my life depended on it. It's not that I'm trying to hide the surgery really. I'm not embarrassed or anything (got over that by my first appointment in September). I'm just trying to avoid feeling cornered with negativity, but I have to say as surgery is getting closer I'm feeling much stronger and caring less and less.

As of now my husband, father-in-law, mother-in-law, and her husband know, as well as a friend from back home who had WLS last year. As others ask, I'll just determine on a case by case basis whether I straight up tell them I've had surgery or ambiguously tell them I've been working with a weight loss center (also true).

As I said, I'm starting to feel much stronger. I told my husband as we were going to bed tonight that I've lost 83 lbs, 12" off my waist, 4 dress sizes, dropped my BMI almost 13 points, and I did that all BEFORE surgery. Anyone who says I'm "cheating" or "taking the easy way out" can kiss my shrinking ass! (I'm so brave when there's no one to actually say that to. Lol )

[Afrikanaaa 79]

I'm currently awaiting insurance approval for what should be a February surgery, and no one but my husband knows. At first I figured I'd share with friends and family as the surgery got closer, but as time passes I'm just not sure that I want to. I may still change my mind, but if I don't, I'd like to know how others who've chosen to keep their surgery to themselves have managed to explain the weight loss and minimal appetite.

My husband has a big family that typically has large, food-centric gatherings weekly, and they're not shy about asking questions or pointing things out. Now I did have to do a 3 month weight loss plan for insurance, so they know I've been 'dieting', and are used to seeing me forgo the fried chicken in favor of a pile of green Beans and leftover turkey breast. Although I've lost a lot of weight so far, I was big enough when starting that its not really noticeable to those who aren't looking for it - no one who didn't already know about my diet has commented on my loss. I imagine that will change after surgery when weight will come off even faster. In addition, I know I will only be able to eat tiny amounts of food for a while, and that will definitely be noticed. I am the polite, shy, pushover type, so telling people to mind their own business or putting them in their place would not exactly come natural to me. Any suggestions?

My family is similar to your husband's family, so when choosing and getting my sleeve done, I kept it between me and my mom. I'm avoiding family gatherings until I'm further along in my weight loss, and my mom has advised that she will deflect the pushy family members who may press me to over eat or about it, down the line.

[kcbrook13 5]

No one knows of my WLS except my partner..,no family and not even my teenage son or friends. I've had a lot of health problems so my job, friends and son think I had surgery for GERD, which is very similar. And yep I lied right along with it....I'm one week post surgery and my entire family including parents don't have a clue,,,,didn't even know I was in the hospital or having surgery at all, they live 2 hrs away! Everyone knows I'm constantly dieting and even joined the biggest loser at work....I won 4 yrs ago but guess who is about to win again?!?!?!

My surgery.... My business! I've never done anything for myself...Only told my partner because he's went to every class and dr appt with me cause I would need a ride to and from the hospital.

Proud of myself I could do this on my own and not allow the entire Jerry Springer town to indulge! Wait until they see me at the family reunion this summer since I didn't go last year!!!

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

My motto is keep busy bodies out of your business!!

[CHM 1,011]

Lol. I like that motto. When you live in Smalltown USA what one person knows, eeeeeeverybody knows.

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

Ugh...yes I can imagine..,tell them you have hernia or gallbladder or ulcer...they will leave you alone.

[cottagehand 1]

I "kept" mine between my 80 yr old Mom and my kids/husband.....people slip up namely Mom. But I'm sure everyone would eventually notice the dramatic weight loss and suspect so I then just told some people I'm close to. Turns out several people at church have also done WLS

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

No need to talk about it...WLS is just a tool.The hard part is adhering to new diet and lifestyle.Not a real topic to discuss.

[bunyip 27]

I told people at work that I was taking off because I was having surgery. I didn't say what kind of surgery, but when two people asked what kind, I just told them that the surgery was going to be on my "plumbing" which was true. But to guys, I'm sure that sounded like some kind of female problem, and they didn't ask any more questions. ha! If anyone had tried to pry any further, I would have just asked them why it was important that they know. People will figure out on their own what I had done.

Edited January 23, 2016 by bunyip

[leikela47 4]

I'm still pre-op but one lady I spoke to (who has lost a LOT of weight but I don't know her well enough to ask detailed questions) responded this way:

Me: "Wow! You look incredible!"

Her: "Thank you so much; I have been working really hard."

Conversation done. It was seriously the most satisfying answer I've heard yet from anyone I've seen lose weight.