Having second thoughts

[Mrs.A.Train 20]

Thank u so much 2goldengirl I sure will hang out with u all

[McMasterflash 46]

My best friend always tells me "do what is best for you". It is a hard decision to try and work out a relationship or leave it. I hope you can find support and kindness here that can sustain you when it is lacking elsewhere. Just remember that there is a lot of work to be done besides surgery. This is something you are capable of getting through with or without him! You are alot stronger than you realize! You can do this! You are worthy of your dreams! You are already beautiful! You don't really need a man to be an amazing woman. Now is a good time to set priorities and clear out clutter. He can get on board or get out! Either way....you got this! We are all in it together! Are you on Facebook?

Thanks for replying. I'm still feeling quite nauseated today, even tho the horrible FULL, bloated feeling from the Cream of Wheat is gone. I'm sticking to chicken and/or beef broth and runny yogurt today, along with part of a protein-fortified Slim Fast, but still the nausea! I'm sipping Crystal Light all day to keep from becoming dehydrated. Is nausea "normal" the first week after surgery? Also a bit of, er, diarrhea.......sorry.............Is this all just my body making adjustments? Nothing was removed....just rearranged...

so I didn't think it would need such adjustments. Must be a wrong assumption!! Let me know what you (or anyone else) thinks!

wow... I really rambled.....lol!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I'm scheduled to have my surgery on January 13th....I know I'm not gonna be able to eat anything for 2 weeks because of my pre- op diet but the guy that I'm with is having me cook Breakfast, lunch, and dinner for him nd dinner for our daughter as well....then he tells me if I can't handle that then I should leave nd go to my family house until I have my surgery...so right now I'm not sure what I should do any suggestions

So, if you leave then who is going to cook his Breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

What a jerk.

There is a reason I'm single...

[The Candidate 3,215]

Ultimatums can be a two way street. If this is his, communicate yours. If he's not willing to bend, or listen to reason, break it off with him, as he's not worthy of your love.

Don't short change your life and health trying to fulfill his narcissistic demands.

[Mrs.A.Train 20]

@ McMasterflash thank u so much nd yes I'm on Facebook

Thank u all for ur advice

[Dub 10,070]

I'm scheduled to have my surgery on January 13th....I know I'm not gonna be able to eat anything for 2 weeks because of my pre- op diet but the guy that I'm with is having me cook Breakfast, lunch, and dinner for him nd dinner for our daughter as well....then he tells me if I can't handle that then I should leave nd go to my family house until I have my surgery...so right now I'm not sure what I should do any suggestions

My honest advice.......do whatever you have to do to get your surgery.......get healed up.....get active walking..........then walk far away from that dude.

Leave him in your wake and focus on yourself and your daughter.

Involve the police as needed and set your course for a better situation.

What a prick !

[McMasterflash 46]

@ McMasterflash thank u so much nd yes I'm on Facebook

Thank u all for ur advice

You got it! There are a couple closed Facebook groups for wls. There are a lot of really supportive peeps there too! Keep reaching out, we are all here together!

[Mrs.A.Train 20]

McMasterflash can u add me to the groups please my name on fb is Donsanell Keen

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@Mrs.A.Train, some of the people who've replied think he's not supportive, others think he isn't a friend and still others think he's utterly self-absorbed and has no regard for you and what is in your best interests. I agree. More to the point, he's a freakin' ass'hole. If he wants to be catered to, let him go back to his mother. There are men in the world. He isn't one of them.

This isn't about serving him. It's about the way you think of yourself and what you deserve from a relationship. Would you really cancel surgery to be the creep's maidservant? You have health problems. I'd think you'd want to work on them so that you can live for yourself and to be there to love and care for your child. The younger child, that is.

He's a freakin' ass'hole. Puke. Crap. On him, that is.

I"m so angry that I keep coming back in to type more. Mrs. A. Train (are you in my town?), you're bringing up a major issue not only about losing weight, but about your entire life and your value in the world. If you would really consider risking your well-being, maybe you should consider seeing a therapist. It hurts to see you thinking the way that you are thinking. You deserve so much better from a man and from yourself.

Edited January 1, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[MsAshley0307 19]

It's hard when dealing with unsupportive people. Hopefully he comes to realize his actions are more harmful than helpful and will make a change for the better.

I agree with the other comments. You have to focus on you and your needs. The haters will hate and still say they love you. It's times like these you see who's really in your corner. I had a similar experience because I was with a person who felt like he had the upper hand by making me feel insecure. I am glad to say I am free from that "situation" and I am loving me and life.

Hopefully you will have a better outcome, but if he or anyone else can't love you right and support your ability to be better and do better don't be afraid to tell them DUECES! ✌????️

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Thank u all for ur advice I just don't no which way to turn bcuz I haven't talked to my family about me having surgery at all it was brought up but I didn't tell them except my cousin that I was having surgery on January 13, nd she's trying to talk me out of it saying its to soon but I was ready....I let my daughter no what's going on she's 10 yrs old nd she understands that I need to get healthy bcuz I have so many health problems going on with myself so she says if its gonna keep me here longer with her go for it so I went for it

Darling Mrs. A. Train, your daughter is a shining light. She's the wise one in all of this. I would love to hug both of you.

As far as support, the others have already said that you'll find plenty of it here. You can also get a lot by attending the support groups that your surgery practice offers. If it doesn't have groups, check with other hospitals in your area. They usually welcome patients to their support groups. The groups generally discuss everything from what to eat to the emotional issues. Sitting down with a group is a wonderful opportunity to share ideas and experiences.

Edited January 1, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[MsAshley0307 19]

I'm scheduled for Jan 14 so I'll be doing it along with you, girl.

[Mrs.A.Train 20]

Thank u all I really needed it

[Alex Brecher 10,516]

Mrs A Train,

This sounds like it’s not so much second thoughts about surgery, but rather second thoughts about whom you’re choosing to spend your time with! It would be one thing if this were it – if you only had to get through these two weeks (at your family’s house or with him), but this isn’t it.

What happens after surgery? Will he suddenly change and stop having you cook unhealthy dinners for him and your daughter? I sure hope so, but I doubt it.

On the other hand, I realize how hard it is to just leave, especially when you need to consider your daughter’s well-being. What does he say about the post-op situation? Will he be supportive? Does he want you to get healthy?

No matter what, your health needs to come first. It needs to come even before your daughter, because she needs you.

If you’re afraid to tell your family, you really need some support from somewhere so you can have a safe place to be and positive people to help you out. Good luck finding it!

Good luck with your decision.

[lmm300missouri 95]

Don't let anything or anyone stop you from having the surgery!

It gives you a wonderful future, I wish I could have had it when I was younger. I look better (clothed) anyway. I go up and down stairs so much easier. Find a good second hand store! I have bought only about 4 items new they were size 12 jeans, 10 jeans which I returned for 8s and they are now to big and a Christmas sweater which is to big but will try to take it in.

It doesn't make your life perfect with out your normal issues so don't expect it to.

Get your mind behind the liquid phase, after day 2 it won't be bad as your body has adjusted. Just remember we ALL did the liquid phase. You will be able to cook for your family because you will have to afterwards, is it always easy no but eating huge amounts had it bad moments too.

Get a friend from this group or from your surgeons support group. Having someone that had the surgery on or near your surgery date to rely, complain, or encourage you helps so much.

Also if possible find a md that specializes in patients that just had gastric surgery. Our surgeon had a dr stop in before we were released. I really didn't think I needed him, but they know every issue you have or will have. They have ways to help you so much. I would suggest anyone that has gained back any weight find one. He has told me they have all kinds of ways to stop it before it gets out of hand, and I BELIEVE him.

Don't give up go forward and message me if you need someone!