real life struggles years post op

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I was revised from band to sleeve in Dec 2011 - nearly 4 years ago. I hit goal in Feb 2013 after losing half my body weight. I spent some time under goal, spent sometime with a small regain to slightly over goal and am now at goal again. A success story as I have never maintained a weight loss of signficance for any length of time. I am gaining confidence that I will remain in the ballpark of my goal weight for the long haul these days. I had major plastics in Oct 2013 and while I got off my workout schedule, i got back to it according to a very clear plan and it didn't interfere much.

However, I have had a very disappointing turn of events that have impacted me alot, especially over the last year. Even when I was in the 250-300# weight class I was as active as I could be. I pushed through pain and discomfort to keep up with my slender friends, to do horse events, take care of my little farm etc. One of the biggest joys for me of losing all that weight was becoming very fit and capable. I worked out alot.... then.. the problems started showing up.

Overuse injury triggered by an overzealous and under educated personal trainer - hip injection needed in 2014

Elbow overuse injury got so bad I had to send my horses to live elsewhere for several months which triggered a bunch of other issues (horse behavior related)
Left knee starting to hurt - I believe compensating for hip

Find out right hip actually has arthritis, looking at a replacement in a few years and now get injections a couple of times a year to manage the pain

Right breast starts mysterously swelling earlier this year - massive tests, MRI, labwork and no conclusions really. Good news cancer has been ruled out.

A week ago I had to have the implant removed since nothing worked to resolve the swelling issue. I don't have the labwork back but I am optimistic that I can have a new one put in after the 3 month resting / healing period.

So, I now have a plan to deal with the hip pain, the elbow is "ok" but I am avoiding pushups for sure and the breast surgeries interfere, but I also know it is temporary... just disappointing and not part of "the plan"

So, I give myself a pat on the back for maintaining my weight even as my fitness level is disappearing. I need to get back on the fitness train (hip doctor has a very good plan for my hip anyway!) but have to wait to get clearance post current surgery and then wait for a new hip injection as it is hurting again.

So, the moral of my story to pre-ops: one thing to consider the longer you remain morbidly obese, the more likely you are to have problems. It is pretty clear that i had a childhood injury or perhaps birth defect that triggered the hip issue, but packing around all that extra weight is of course a major component to that hip issue, the knee issue and ongoing back pain too

Moral of the story to active post ops: your body is not as healthy and strong as it seems if you have a long history of morbid obesity. Losing the weight, getting fit improves all those bloodwork, the blood pressure and all that stuff, but the muscular skelatel system damage may have already been done. I was careful to avoid high immpact workouts like aerobics, but I very much enjoy high intensity, high fitness creating activities and while they didn't cause any of my issues, they helped expose them, that is for sure.

Moral of the story to all of us - don't self identify so strongly with one thing. I got really into my physical prowess (for my age), became a much bolder and stronger horseback rider and loved it. I had to cancel plans to do an intense equitrekking adventure to Iceland because with that hip - I can't spend 8 hours a day in the saddle for a week or two anymore... it is sad to me. I had also planned to do barrel racing, drill team and other speedy events that were on hold for a bit - but i think i can see my way back to some of those goals again. It has been heart breaking to watch myself very quickly drop in capability. At times it has felt a bit sad or depressing. I am currently working on creating a life with more balance - physical fitness and identification with the inner athlete, balanced with other things in life that are still satisfying even when my body isn't quite cooperating.

I thought that I would feel horrible at having one implant removed. Truth of the matter is my implants were pretty small, intended to give me that lost "upper pole" fullness so I actually don't look as mismatched as I feared. I am finding my ability to deal with this physical set back that impacts my feminity/looks so much pretty okay so far and I am happy with myself for being able to handle it. It will be alot better once the effing drain comes out, but overall I am coping pretty well with this set back.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@CowgirlJane ... after my having been on this forum for two years, you continue to impress me in new ways.

You've shown me great wisdom and great sharing in this post.

Thank you.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

This is the type of post I need hear. The one thing I have not liked about this first year is that even as I lost weight I developed arthritis in my right knee that can only be attributed to carrying over 400lbs of weigh on a small frame. It has effected how I work out. I would like to do more than Water aerobics. The left knee arthritis was a result of a surgical repair of a torn meniscus. I don't even feel that and it never bothers me. I go back and forth between whether I should continue water aerobics 5 -6 days a week or drop back down to 3 - 4. You have definitely given me food for thought.

[Babbs 14,680]

Posts like that, and you actually feel you're not relevant to this site anymore??

Puh-leeese.

You are amazing, inspring, and always so full of insight and So. Much. Wisdom.

Keep healing and take care of yourself!

[Margie122 845]

Thank you for posting. I just had surgery on 8/17 of this year, but it's great to hear from folks who are a few years out that it IS possible to maintain weight loss long term! Good for you for maintaining your weight loss with those physical issues you've had. Sorry you didn't get to go on your horseback trip to Iceland, that sounded great...but I'm sure you will be able to do tons of other fun stuff down the road. Best of luck with your upcoming surgery.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Thank you Babbs, but that thread/conversation clarified in my mind the value I do add here. It is NOT getting involved in high drama/emotional issues/people in crisis whether in threads or private messages. I am not burned out on the million repeat questions (I tend to skip em) but I really questioned relevance about the 5th time I got some animosity spewed in my general direction when I was intending to help. I figured out that I can't actually help people that are in a full blown emotional crisis and the price I pay trying is too much.

A post like this one though is actually stating the obvious, but packaged in a way that hopefully gives people something to think about. When I look back, i think of several people who had very very very similar experiences as mine, some kind of physical breakdown often triggering regain. At some point I realized I had become one of them - someone who felt so good, so powerful and strong that I didn't respect quite enough the damage that had already been done. I listened and learned from those other people's shared experiences and while I am sad that i am not the buff, lean, defined arms chick I was a year or two ago - I am maintaining and ain't half bad for a middle aged lady.

Posts like that, and you actually feel you're not relevant to this site anymore??

Puh-leeese.

[glitter eyes 1,398]

@@CowgirlJane you are and continue to be an inspiration to us all!! You post was very insightful and thought provoking. It is so true that our years of obesity do take a physical toll on our bodies. It is easy to forget that sometimes when we are in the giddy honeymoon phase of weight loss.

I hope your physical setbacks resolve themselves soon, and enough so you can continue to enjoy your passions.

Thank you for all that you contribute to this forum.

[bhopeful 33]

Thank you! Thank you for taking the time to write that for the benefit of others. I truly appreciate it. I am only 3 weeks out and this is such an adventure and so much to learn. That was some great perspective.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

@@CowgirlJane not sure how I missed this, but I am here to second and confirm your observations from a personal perspective. I have also found it to be quite disheartening to work my way to half my previous size, only find myself not as fit as I expected. I was a person who never let my weight slow me down, in terms of activity or career or family. I didn't have to let obesity beat me in that way. Or so I thought.

Now I have come to two revelations: 1) Obesity absolutely beat me down and I wasn't as active as I thought and 2) I can't undo years of damage caused by all that added weight. As I lost weight I steadily became more and more active. I joined a running club, and dreamed of competing in events with friends and family. But within the first 6 months, my knee started hurting so bad I started getting injections. Eventually, I just stopped trying because the aching and throbbing would keep me awake all night. I need a total knee replacement but I'm not ready for that just yet. Most types of activity cause pain, including Water activities and bicycling. I wear a fit bit, and when I get near 10000 steps, I ache for a few days. Talk about disappointing!! So yes, the damage is done.

I am (mostly) at peace with my weight, but these physical limitations have prevented me from exercising off those last few pounds. It forces me to be extra strict with my diet, all day, every day, in order to continue to maintain my weight.

So sorry to hear about the post surgical implant issue! I sure understand when you reference your plan, and that wasn't part of it. Ain't nobody got time for that! Wishing you a speedy recovery.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@MichiganChic yes your story is exactly what I was talking about and truth be told we have seen it before. Sometimes people regain as part of that cycle. Kudos to both of us for not letting the physical limits be an excuse for regain.

I never want to discourage anyone from their dreams, and there is that giddy honeymoon period post massive weight loss but truth be told, obesity probably beat alot of us down. Only docs that ever had the guts to tell me straight up "you are not as healthy as you think" were plastic surgeons I consulted with. One told me that in spite of perfect blood work, massive weight loss people tend to have more issues healing. Another told me that there are more blood vessels etc. Like our insides actually LOOK different. Obesity causes permanent damage and change. I don't intend to be discouraging..just sharing the truth. We focus on social stigma, not looking our best, sleep apnea, diabetes and high blood pressure but morbid obesity hurts us in many, irreversible ways. Take it seriously.

Good news - update on implant. They biopsied for everything - even TB and fungus.ha..all clear! This means my replacement is likely to go very well. Perhaps more importantly I am pretty at peace - if my body rejects it, I will live a happy life with no implants. Turns out that the lift gave me my cute figure, the implant really just gave a bit more fullness.

This post was a good thing for me to share, because I just feel my own inner life continuing to evolve in a good way.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Then there's the simple fact that as we turn 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 -- we use up our bodies in ways that make us less physically healthy or resilient than when we were in our twenties or thirties.

Some of our health in later years is under our control, and some isn't. A lot of people my own age (70) or thereabouts have never been obese, and some of them are in worse shape than I am. For instance, heavy physical labor, extreme sports, and recreational exercise (e.g., farming for a living, playing contact sports as a young athlete, long-distance running for decades) will wear down the bodies of even the "fittest" folks.

Although life is precious and sweet, none of us is getting out of here alive or healthy. At 70 years old my health and appearance goals and motivations are different than they once were. My realistic goal is to maximize my health through nutrition, exercise, socialization, intellectual and creative and spiritual pursuits, and any other ways that contribute to my well being.

It's all good.