5 Days & Feeling Blue

[JudeaJordon 25]

My addiction to food is overwhelming I just had a hot dog I couldn't help my self and now I'm crying I'm over food ruling my life but I can't help it!!!!!!

[LBOOGiE73 6]

I understand. I'm attending my pre op appts now and thought I'd practice a liquid diet yesterday. I did well until around 6:00 pm when i caved in and ate a big taco "salad" (which actually is NOT a salad despite its name). Ugh. Its like being in an abusive relationship some times. I had my psych eval today and told my Dr about my failed attempt. She said its a process that keeps getting easier as long as you keep getting up when you fall and not beat yourself up over it. ????

[JudeaJordon 25]

My goodness that is so true like food is an actual person, the way I been talking about it lately is really sad just saw my anethetist today and he said if you stick to this diet for the last 5 days it's extremely likely that we can do the surgery, I was supposed to be on intifada for 6 weeks and I cheated about 10 times and I went to go see my surgeons assistant today and told her I lost 12 kgs and she looked at me in disgust as I walked out I just started crying and realised I need this surgery so bad my addiction to food is ruining my life, hope you hang in there Hun bless you!

[LBOOGiE73 6]

And same to you. Yes, both you AND I will hang in there and grab the better lives that are waiting for us. I'm excited!

[ididit34 91]

I'm really interested to see how my psych will be after surgery. I started my two week liquid pre-op on Monday, this is the start of day 4 for me and I can honestly say that I've never really realized how much I mindlessly eat. Monday, I walked down the stairs to the subway, I live in NYC, and I could literally smell the catsup and salt on the person ahead of me fries in the a container in their bag. How bad is that! Earlier yesterday, I dreamt I was sitting at a bar with a big bowl of communal chili (don't ask why), and I took handfuls of chili and was eating it. How disturbing is that! I say this to say that I would imagine that a lot of us struggle with some sort of food addiction, which is why we are here today. Take one day at a time and don't give up.

[NMFGAZ 26]

I am starting to understand that the surgery won't work long term until we figure out why food controls us instead of us controlling our food. What are we feeding or numbing? Such a long process to work through this lifelong behavior - all we can do is get back on the wagon each time we fall off. And be a little bit kinder to ourselves, since the self shaming makes matters so much worse and sometimes fuels more uncontrolled eating. Hang in there!

[JudeaJordon 25]

Thank you my love and yes we do struggle everyday, I am trying to keep my hopes up just so emotional and when I ate the hot dog I was even more emotional the fact that I couldn't control myself is just a horrible feeling, the daydreams are the worst I know for its oh this is the last time I'll ever eat this and then I just binge, I hope one day I can say I conquered this addiction bless all of you xoxo

[acyum2008 55]

I totally agree with everyone. I am scheduled for surgery next Thursday and I will say its been a long road. I gained and lost during my insurance req weight loss program. My pre op diet has been giving me the blues as well so I totally feel where you all are coming from. But you have to believe that you can do this. I am just having faith in God honestly. When it gets too difficult for me I remember why I am doing this. You got this dont beat yourself up too bad just take baby steps.

[Mom26 313]

Have you tried chewing gum? It always helps me when I'm craving something.

[Kathy Krebs Robertson 30]

I have a food addiction too. The thing is, you can't quit eating, like smoking or drinking alcohol and unhealthy food is all around us, I just drove by a billboard showing a McDonald's burger and I wanted one, I wasn't hungry BUT that burger looked good!!! Life is hard and this is probably the hardest thing you (all of us) will go thru that is truly our OWN obstacle, not our spouses or kids, so that in itself is tough, especially if you always put others first. Well good luck everyone, the struggle goes on.

[mommy319 31]

I am 2.5 weeks post op. I was fine the first week. I was took weak to cheat. The last couple of days i want to eat everything I'm not supposed to. I am on soft foods but i've had a cookie and a few chips and pretzels. Made an appointment with my Nut to get some guidance. I feel like i'm pms'ng and the only control i have is that i cant eat as much as I want. I cheated during pre op but i kept losing as long as I had my Protein and Water. I come to these forums now like an addict looking for just a little motivational boost. When I slip I try to get right back on track. After all surgery was a pretty drastic move not to use it as the tool it was meant to be. Good luck to all of us.

[JudeaJordon 25]

I just realised that I never really put myself first and if I really cared about myself I wouldn't be destroying myself with these bad habits I think this whole process is about loving yourself and being comfy ethos in your own skin and actually saying hey I am worth it this doesn't need to go in my body it's bad for me, yeah I'm gonna cheat sometimes but eventually everything I pick my self back up I get that little bit stronger, just stay positive everybody and remember you are worth it and to love yourself God bless!

[LoseItKacy 347]

I'm 2 weeks post op. And it's the biggest emotional battle ever. I am proud to say I didn't cheat on my two week liquid diet. And I haven't had anything outside my rules now. But I cry ALL the time. Watching people eat makes me mad. I want everything I can't have. And I can't watch tv commercials. I get head hunger to the extreme.

It's hard. It's a constant battle. My program only lets me eat three times a day with Protein in between and it's really hard.

I'm hoping it gets easier but I know I can't afford to fail this. This is my LAST chance to get this right. If I'm not successful at this surgery then there is literally no other option for me and my food addiction wins.

I just try to tell myself that I hate living this way more than I love the food I crave.

But it's hard. It's like a death of your old life. You go through an extreme grieving process. But when I see the scale moving it makes things a little bit easier.