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Anyone else feel scared they'll gain it back?



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I am terrified of regain. Absolutely terrified every single day! This is probably one I'm a bit obsessive. I am over a year out and down 125 lbs. I'm the smallest I've been since I was about 16. I still have yet to eat one bad thing. Not even a bite or a crumb. I have not had one single treat or splurge. Haven't had bread, rice, Pasta, potatoes, etc.. I keep thinking I need to get over it but I'm afraid.

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I am ALWAYS concerned about regain, but this is something I'm really trying to get into my head. Someone told me this years ago and it is still in my head.

If you forget to brush your teeth, one day, are you going to stop brushing your teeth forever? Of course not...you'll brush them again the next day. We need to look at our eating in the same way.

Good luck, and never stop thinking about it, but don't worry....

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Afraid/anxious/terrified? No. I have better things to expend my energy on.

Aware/diligent? Absolutely. I was just called "green" because I am "only" 2.5 years out. I will NOT regain because I am determined to stay healthy.

Don't confuse that confidence with arrogance, though. I know what I need to do to stay where I am and I will not fail my body again.

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At the moment (14 months post-op and below my weight goal), I'm not "scared" of regain. But I do focus a lot on my weight / food / drink. Frankly, I need to raise the focus on my exercise.

I do plan and track my food on MFP most days. My shrink keeps urging me to take some days off from tracking. Clearly, he has issues. ;)

It doesn't surprise me that after reaching our weight goals we focus on maintenance. No one who's had WLS was a successful maintainer pre-op. Duh. And it wasn't just once we failed to maintain. Our entire histories have been repeated cycles of weight loss successes after hard work followed by abject failures to maintain.

But now I have confidence coupled with commitment to care for my body and myself. I spent most of my life worrying about and caring first for everyone and everything in my life but my body and me. Now, I have finally understood that I deserve my respect, love and self-care as much as everyone else in my life. Magically, those I care most for are also benefitting from my own self-care. :)

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I am ALWAYS concerned about regain, but this is something I'm really trying to get into my head. Someone told me this years ago and it is still in my head.

If you forget to brush your teeth, one day, are you going to stop brushing your teeth forever? Of course not...you'll brush them again the next day. We need to look at our eating in the same way.

Good luck, and never stop thinking about it, but don't worry....

@@allyray

And on the flip side, I also saw a blog from a very successful WLS person who has maintained for years say that we have to look at excersise (or being active and moving) and eating right as a job. Just like brushing our teeth every day, combing our hair, and taking a shower and washing our butts everyday, moving and choosing to eat right should just be the norm like those things.

Although there are days I forget to wash my butt, I'll admit.....

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@@AlanaRN

You've got to think about maintenence. How long can you maintain the way you currently are eating? If you don't feel deprived, then Kudos to you! But if you feel a bit deprived, that's really no way to live. That's the ol' DIET mentality. You've gotta live life, too. The rest of your life is a looong time! :)

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I am ALWAYS concerned about regain, but this is something I'm really trying to get into my head. Someone told me this years ago and it is still in my head.

If you forget to brush your teeth, one day, are you going to stop brushing your teeth forever? Of course not...you'll brush them again the next day. We need to look at our eating in the same way.

Good luck, and never stop thinking about it, but don't worry....

@@allyray

And on the flip side, I also saw a blog from a very successful WLS person who has maintained for years say that we have to look at excersise (or being active and moving) and eating right as a job. Just like brushing our teeth every day, combing our hair, and taking a shower and washing our butts everyday, moving and choosing to eat right should just be the norm like those things.

Although there are days I forget to wash my butt, I'll admit.....

Lol love it

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Fear and obsessing about maintenance has not served me well. Thanks for the reality check veterans!

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@@AlanaRN

You've got to think about maintenence. How long can you maintain the way you currently are eating? If you don't feel deprived, then Kudos to you! But if you feel a bit deprived, that's really no way to live. That's the ol' DIET mentality. You've gotta live life, too. The rest of your life is a looong time! :)

Yes I do. I'm working on it. I'm right below goal. Would like to drop a few more lbs before officially going into maintenance. How are you eating now Babbs? I know you just went into maintenance.

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I am only 3 months post op and yes I worry daily about regain and more so at this point about not losing enough. I worry, will I really get to my goal? Will I really keep losing? Even though I have not cheated , NOT ONCE? What if I am that ONE PERSON that the surgery fails me? I have read about people who said " oh the weight just DROPPED OFF ME!" ...... Well I am 3 months post op and 42 lb down since day of surgery and 67 lb down since my very first appointment with the surgeon and I started my diet pre op. But then I think.... Well it's not just DROPPING OFF ME!!!! What's wrong with me????? It's a HUGE MENTAL GAME.....

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I think a lot of people share your fear. Many of us worry we aren't losing enough or fast enough but it sounds like you're doing great. It's not falling off me either but I expect reach goal (100 pound loss) by my surgiversary and that will be truly miraculous in my mind. Pre surgery I think it would have taken me a couple of years to lose that much weight with far greater effort because I would have had a lot more hunger. This tool gives me a fighting chance.

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I know with every pre op diet I succeeded at, the fear was always there. And sure enough it happened too. But now it's different. Yes, it still whispers in my ear now and again, but this is definitely the most confident I've been at keeping it off long term. And it's feels great!

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Unsolicited advice here ...

There's rational concern about solving a lifelong weight problem with WLS, and then there's irrational fear, self-defeating negative attitudes, and downright paranoia.

I see some of those latter emotions and attitudes expressed on this board quite often. They're what I think (hope?) counseling could help.

It's a truism that losing weight doesn't fix all our problems. After losing all their excess weight, some WLS patients are disheartened to learn that becoming skinny hasn't changed their abilities to find a relationship, repair a broken marriage, become more successful at work, or cure sibling hostilities.

If you're having negative feelings or feeling overwhelmed while losing weight, chances are you will still struggle with those issues after you're through losing weight. So why not look for support NOW for those things that are bringing you down.

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One positive I have done to help myself in a healthy way recently, I took the advice of my surgeon & I stopped weighing myself daily. I am trying to see my weight loss as NSV'S & not JUST A NUMBER ON THE scale like I always have. That has helped me in a big way, but of course then there is the visual part in the mirror I see daily. So being excited about my NSV have been HUGE for me.

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