In need of some tough love and inspiring comments :)

[fabnsab 19]

Wow, Ann! You're good at this!! You motivated ME and I haven't even had my surgery yet!!

Let me know if you want a newb to mentor lol. My surgery is nov4

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I'm surprised your NUT answered your question about calories at least without qualifying it with an emphasis on Protein. For my NUT and surgeon, the important numbers are Protein and Water.

You have received some outstanding advice from some very experienced folks in this thread. I hope you are able to use it to help you get back on track.

[Halfagain 68]

Just remember, you don't have to be strong all day, just for the next hour (or half hour if that helps). Breaking through each mini goal, is a pat on the back. Restart your next goal as the last one ends. (Yes without giving in to the temptation in between) How do we get to our goals? One step at a time. You can do this!

[Babbs 14,680]

I don't have any specific advice re "I eat when the kids are too much for me to handle." However, I do think a good cognitive behavioral therapist could help you identify some DIFFERENT ways to respond to that situation.

And I do think that cognitive behavioral therapy would be good for you, since you already know that your NUT's 800 calories and no more comments generated some very negative feelings about yourself that you haven't shaken yet.

800 calories, no more, huh?

Maybe you'd like to know that eating 800 calories a day and no more is NOT how I lost my weight.

My bariatric P.A. told me this instead:

After four months, of eating 800 calories/day (which is pretty much all I could eat in those early days post-op), she said: "I want you to get up to 1,000 calories/day before you're six months post-op. And then I want you to get up to 1,200 calories/day before you're at eight months post-op. That way, you will avoid teaching your body how to survive on so few calories you'll have a hard time maintaining your weight long-term."

So I did. And by the time 8.5 months post-op rolled around, I'd hit my weight goal of 150 pounds. In the last five months I've gone on to lose another 10 pounds and am now holding steady at 140 pounds.

And I now eat an average of 1,700 calories/day. On rare days, I eat only 1,200 calories or go up to 3,000 calories (only twice). But mostly it's 1600-1800 calories.

However, please know that most of those calories (while I was losing and now that I'm maintaining) come from highly nutritious foods -- 80-100 grams of Protein (from animal, dairy, plant sources), at least 5 colored veggies and fruits, whole grains (like whole wheat, quinoa, brown rice), 21-30 grams of Fiber, and at or under the recommended sodium levels, etc.

I try to walk or exercise daily. I don't have small kids, but my lifestyle is much more active than it once was. I drink 64 ounces of Water and other liquids daily.

So why not ditch that stinkin' thinkin' you have been stuck in and recommit yourself to doing all the things you know you need to do.

I will add that since I've been in maintenance I do have some treats (wine and dark chocolate, mostly). But those were very, very rare when I was still losing. Since you're not at maintenance yet and want to lose more weight, I would clean the cabinets and get rid of all the things that tempt you.

One final bit of advice: The eating we do after WLS is not just to lose weight -- it's to rebuild our health and sustain our physical and mental energy for a lifetime of normal weight and good health. Be good to your body and your mind. Give them both the nutrition they are craving. You know you want this. You can do this. Just do it.

This is just....beautiful!

[katesuccess 990]

Yes, @@VSGAnn2014! You nailed it - what wonderful advice. Only thing I'd add is that when I'm overwhelmed with too too much (like non-stop mom in your case) I find starting back to all those great practices at once is too daunting, and when I don't manage to do them all yet again, there's the failure thing again.

You are not a failure, @tfarr! Now you know a few more things that don't help you. Time to track down what does. We've taken big steps towards good health, and still have more to go.

I get back on track one thing at a time: Day 1) Water and lots of it, and that's the only change I tell myself I need to make. Then Day 2) I get back to logging my food, even if it's not on plan. Logging it helps get me back to wanting to be on plan. Day 3) Some sort of exercise - preferably not that all-or-nothing bit that leaves you feeling more pain than accomplishment. You gauge. Day 4) I trust myself to shift to eating well and shopping for better food--and feels good to be back on track.

No matter what - don't give up. Keep at it until you find what works for you. I'm cheering for you!

Edited October 5, 2015 by katesuccess

[tfarr 270]

You all are so wonderful

You've inspired me to take a better look at my life and manage my plan better.

I do have a therapist, actually for like 4 yrs now lol

We talk about it, but, we both know it's hard for me to deal w emotional eating. I see her tomorrow and will be discussing it more

Thanks again Ladies! Muah!

[Elode 8,093]

@@tfarr We are pretty close to the same. It's harder now to lose. I'm actually pretty happy where I'm at. How much more are you wanting to lose? I'm with you girl I wanted to lose 16 more but it seems like it's going to be really hard to get the rest off. I will probably have to start exercising to get it off. It's hard to stay motivated this long. I was thinking about doing a liquid diet for a week to see if that kicks the sweets addiction I've been having. I still don't eat much but when I do I just want to eat Cookies

[Chrystee 838]

Thank you all so, so, so much for your responses. I do know

A couple reasons why I emotional eat.

When my two children are to much for me to handle I eat. I cant leave or call someone to come and let me go for a walk.

Another thinking is , when I was at my first nut visit after my phase 5 was cleared I asked her how many calories I should have at that time with my sleeve. She said no more that 800. When I know I was getting way more, like 1100. I was still losing. I have an active lifestyle as far as work, my kiddos, ect. My surgeon said " as long As is good nutritious food, Protein first then veggies don't worry"

But, after my nut said 800, I ultimately felt like a failure. It has been chiseled in my mind ever since. I can't shake the notion of failure since that time. No matter what they tell me, it's that one time I can't shake

How old are your kids? I have a rambunctious 2 year old and an 8 year old. Take them on the walk with you! If one doesn't walk, then throw them in a stroller and go.. walking and running are good for them too. Mine exercise with me and love it!

[tfarr 270]

My two children are 2.5 and 4.

I could try and take them, but, what I need is to get away from my stressors lol

Next time it happens I will. See how it goes.

Number wise I am happy, but, mirror wise no. I need to do a lot of strength training. I feel I've lost some muscle.

I need to make a point of going to the gym. It would slip me mood wise and body wise.

My hormones are all out of whack too.

Life huh? Lol

[tfarr 270]

All the comments I received truly sunk in. I've reevaluated my life and started fresh. I'm 6 lbs down and feeling great! Thank you all again for being so supportive XOXO

[J170 29]

Go back to pre op diet for 14 days.

3 meals a day. 2 meals are a Protein shake and/or Protein Bar. 1 meal is lean Protein and veggies (salad with meat). Do your waters. FOCUS.

It's not worth dying over a snicker bar

[tfarr 270]

Fluids have never been an issue. I drink about a gallon of Water a day. No lie, I am always drinking. Before surgery I was like that.

[tfarr 270]

I've always worried that if I drank too much my sleeve would burst lol.

It's just gets really uncomfortable

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

All the comments I received truly sunk in. I've reevaluated my life and started fresh. I'm 6 lbs down and feeling great! Thank you all again for being so supportive XOXO

And now you're MY role model.

Very, very proud of you and impressed.

[tfarr 270]

All the comments I received truly sunk in. I've reevaluated my life and started fresh. I'm 6 lbs down and feeling great! Thank you all again for being so supportive XOXO

And now you're MY role model.

Very, very proud of you and impressed.

aww thanks Ann